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Home > Dating Advice > My Story
I'm often asked about my history as a dating coach, so I thought I share that with you here...
It was the lessons and experienced I learned in my own life, that have allowed me to help students and clients improve faster than they ever thought possible.
Who is Bobby Rio?
First, I'm gonna tell you a story. Because if you are a single guy who is frustrated with girls, the exact same way as I was for years, then I don’t want you to make the same embarrassing and expensive mistakes that I did.
Yeah I know most guys would tell you all about their different media appearances they've been on. All the books they've authored bla bla. How many Youtube subscribers they have…
And yeah I could bore you with that crap. I have credentials and a client list that includes NFL athletes, CEOs, Hollywood directors, and thousands of ordinary guys all around the world…
Listen, if you're smart. You don't give a damn about that. And I bet you don't, you probably just want the juice. The secret sauce. And I'm going to get to that in just a few seconds. Right after my story. Deal? Cool.
First let me tell you something, sort of a WARNING if you will:
Nothing good will come with a girl when you’re in ‘emotional quicksand”...
What’s Emotional Quicksand?
It's a point where you’re completely obsessed with a girl, thinking about her constantly, barely
able to function, staring at your phone, and you’re really in a place of desperation, where you
know you shouldn’t text her again but you can't help it...
Your brain is basically mush…
Admit it… you’ve been there, hell, maybe you’re there right now.
If you learn one thing from me today, it's that ANYTHING you do when you’re in this space of mind is gonna make it worse. Way worse.
I learned the hard way...
Because when this story begins, that's the EXACT POINT I'm at over my friend Robin...
I had a crush on her for a couple of years…
Like a lot of guys, I was scared to make a move, scared to "ruin the friendship"...
Or maybe, if I’m honest, I just didn’t know how to make my move or how to make her want me in THAT WAY…
…Or what I could even do or say to take things to that “next level” with her…
So, instead, I waited patiently hoping that one day she'd wake up and realize I was the love of her life...
I waited, and waited, and waited...
And I clung to the idea that we were "soulmates" and would eventually wind up together…
And then one night IT HAPPENED...
And it was f*cking magical...
Sure, there was a lot of alcohol involved...
And sure, quickly after the kiss, she started backtracking and saying things like "we shouldn't have done that"...
But, in my head… SHE WAS MINE.
I saw wedding bells… And babies… And lots and lots of steamy Sunday morning sex...
And most importantly...I saw the look on my friends’ faces when I told them that I finally GOT HER…
Because let me tell you the absolute worst part of being in the “friend zone”…
It's when other guys see you with her and they assume that you and her are a couple…
And the guys give you props and treat you with respect, and it feels fucking good.
It almost makes it feel real with her. Like you REALLY ARE a couple.
Except you're not.
And then, inevitably, the moment comes where they realize, “Oh, she’s NOT with him,
he’s just a sap stuck in the friend zone…”
And all that respect instantly disappears, and instead, you get PITY.
So, yea, it was nice to imagine all the respect and high fives and envy I’d get from guys when they found out Robin and I were dating…
But then something weird happens…
A week after our kiss, she gets distant, cold, “pulls away”, and starts avoiding me.
So what did I do?
I made all the classic “nice guy” mistakes.
Every. Single. One.
And when I couldn’t get her to meet up with me in person, I came up with a brilliant idea.
I’d show up, uninvited, at her work Christmas party, and it will be my chance to CHANGE HER MIND…
Most of the night is a blur because in order to get the “courage” to make my move, I proceeded to drink A LOT.
And let me tell you the only thing worse than being in “emotional quicksand” over a girl…Being DRUNK and in emotional quicksand with a girl.
Because that’s like pouring rocket fuel all over your “inner nice guy” and giving him free reign to make a jackass out of you…
Oh, yea, that’s EXACTLY what I did.
Robin could tell I was a loose cannon, so she avoided me most of the night.
So I start getting crazier and crazier, and I start noticing that there is something going on with her and this guy Shawn she works with.
I knew Shawn, and Shawn is my “ANYONE BUT HIM GUY”. He’s a guy that girls liked and I could never figure out why.
And Robin always used to act like she would NEVER go for him, and now, here she was, and there’s definitely SOMETHING between them.
At first it’s below the surface, I sense it, but I keep pushing it out of my head.
As the party starts winding down, sensing that Robin was about to slip away, I practically beg her and Shawn to head to a bar down the street to grab one last beer.
I couldn’t bear for the night to end, knowing this my be my LAST CHANCE to turn things around.
Surprisingly, Robin said yes..
I zip my fly up, and I just punch in the face…
I clocked him. Hard.
He was shocked for a second, but then he came swinging at me.
And next thing I know we’re in the parking lot, all her co-workers are trying to break it up, and I
look up, and see something I’d never expected…
Robin is crying her eyes out.
Now, full disclosure, I’m a bit of a pussy, and definitely NOT the type of guy to get in the fight.
So, Shawn is kicking my ass. Big time.
He’s just hitting me, and I’m looking at her, and I’m realizing, the dream is over, and I’ll never have her, and I kind of just give up and let him hit me.
Because what pain I felt from his punches, it was nothing compared to the pain I felt knowing SHE WAS GONE, the last
strand of hope I was holding onto, was gone.
It was a very public humiliation.
The rest of the night I did some serious thinking. I sort of had to because I couldn't go to sleep.
Have you ever been so tired that you can't fall asleep? That was me. I just sort of woke up and realized I was one big
GIANT, CLUELESS WUSS of a man.
I decided that night that I was going to figure it out or die trying. Everything in my life changed on that day, and I
devoted myself to becoming a master of attraction and dating.
It took some time but I did it.
A lot Happens in a Year
And then a year later, everything changed.
It started with a 2am text I get from Robin, and suddenly, EVERYTHING comes rushing back.
If you’ve ever gotten a random text from an ex or that ‘girl who got away’, it’s just this surreal feeling that instantly makes you feel wide awake and like you’re dreaming at the same time…
At this point, I know quite a bit, a lot of the stuff that I’m now teaching. I’ve already started figuring things out. Stuff that would eventually turn into the Scrambler…
And I’m with a new girl, life is good, BUT…
I just need “closure” with Robin. Also, I just want to see, “can I do this, can I get her”, and maybe, just maybe, there was an element of wanting to settle the score with her…
So we hang “as friends” a few nights, and I start doing a lot of things differently, and I sense it's working. Something about the way she’s looking at me tells me that she wants me to make a move, but I don’t.
I decide I’m going to let her chase her way into my pants.
And she does.
We spend the night together.
I’m not going to lie, when you want a girl as bad as I wanted my friend Robin, and now she’s arching back, so you can slide her panties off, it's a magical moment.
Then we took a vacation together, actually two vacations…
And then, SHE WAS OUT OF MY SYSTEM…
And it was like a giant weight off my shoulders, and I was able to really commit for the first time into a new
relationship, to new girls.
Robin changed my life, and for that I will forever be thankful. In fact, I owe her a beer. Or a bottle of champagne,
or a new car.
Because she challenged me to find a new way, to think outside the box, and take control of my dating life for the
very first time.
What did I learn?
One of the first things that really hit me was most of the things us guys are conditioned to want to do, DO NOT work.
So for example, when Robin started “pulling away”, my brother tells me, “You need a bold move, something to really show her how much you like her.”
It made total sense at the time.
So I spent nearly three hours perfectly crafting a letter to her confessing all my feelings for her. And then I go to the florist, and I walk in and I buy the biggest bouquet of flowers in the shop, and then I have them delivered to her work with a mushy,
‘makes-me-want-to-puke just thinking about it’ letter attached…
And then I sit by my phone waiting for her to call me, and thinking it would be just like the movies, she’d show up at my door, and rush into my arms, telling me she felt the same way, she’s always felt that way…
But in reality she called me, thanked me for the flowers, but seemed kind of… ANNOYED.
And when I asked her to hang out that night, she told me she was ‘too tired’, and hung up without us ever making plans.
And I think back and I realize that this has never worked. Now, I’m not talking about sending your wife flowers on your anniversary, I’m talking about using flowers or gifts early in a relationship, or when a woman seems unsure, to try to convince her to like you, it always backfires.
So does confessing your feelings, or being too eager to please, or making yourself super available…
NONE of it WORKS.
The fact is, when a girl starts “pulling away”, the worst thing in the world you can do is start chasing after her like I chased Robin.
Yet we all keep doing it.
Why? Because no one ever tells us what to do INSTEAD.
I swung in the other direction and never texted or called or did anything to let a girl know I liked her.
And that didn’t work either.
There is this misconception that girls like jerks. They don’t. And if you try to be a jerk thinking it will get you a girl, it will backfire.
Another misconception is that you have to be really good looking or rich. Well, Robin chose Shawn over me, and he was neither. Which, in a way, made it sting even more. At Least if he was super good looking I’d have an excuse.
So I'm like what am I missing?
So I start reading a lot of psychology books, and at first I’m reading them because I want to get over Robin, I want to figure out why I’m so stuck on her, because there wasn’t anything super special about her.
As I’m reading these books, light bulbs start going off left and right. Suddenly things started making sense.
Things about attraction that I couldn’t understand start making sense, because of this deep psychology behind it.
And trust me, I have googled and read all the stuff on the internet about what women want, and 99% of it is either generic, politically correct stuff that doesn’t work in the real world. Or it's geared towards guys trying to meet a girl at a bar or online, and even that advice usually sucked.
No one talked about any of the stuff I was reading in these psychology books, but it matched perfectly with everything I was seeing and experiencing with women in the real world.
As the material helped me meet, date, and eventually marry my dream girl, I started sharing it with other guys.
And quickly saw how much it helped them with the women they were chasing. And how, using these techniques, the women started chasing them.
So for the past 14 years, along with fellow coach,
Rob Judge, I’ve been teaching these techniques to guys around the world.
I get dozens of emails every day from guys using the material to transform their dating life. In fact, here are just some of the recent emails I’ve gotten.
Here’s What Some of My Students Say
"Thank you sincerely,I'm 64..."
Thank you sincerely, I'm 64,going thru divorce, life is opening up. Got 4 dancers I'm seeing, 2 intimately. Loving my new attitude.
"I courageously messaged my high-school crush after going through the program."
She didn't give the time of day throughout high school. Long story short, Emily, is now my hyper intelligent and overthinking, sweet, and supportive girlfriend...
"this shit really works on me..."
Hey bobby,this shit really works on me. I slept with 2 different women within 2 days of the program. I had bought it for a female friend, but having too much fun now. Thank you
"So much fun to use it's crazy"
I'm 55 years old, divorced 2007 and Im a retired Firefighter who is currently dating a 38 year old girl and we have already had sex 5 or 6 times. Basically I'm saying a big thank you for the Scrambler..
"I conquered my girl. She’s amazing..."
I conquered my girl. She’s amazing, cute, hot and loves sex. And she left another relationship to be with me. Thanks guys!
"I was skeptical at first..."
But I must say that within the first two days of learning this, I went out, met up with a 37 year old chick from my social scene I wanted for awhile, took her home and banged her until 8 am. Your stuff really does work man.
"I have been playing it wrong my whole life!"
Bobby, Thank you, thank you. I have reversed the friend zone...... Now she is even jelaous. I have been playing it wrong my whole life! I owe you, Bro!
"I’m am so F'ing happy now"
I hope you get this Bobby Rio....I started your program about 4 weeks ago. I’m 48, divorced and was totally lost in the game. After listening to you, Rob Judge and several of your guests I’m am so fing happy now. Not only did I get laid by numerous hot women, I have now a 35-year old hot, smoking ass Portuguese woman as my GF.
"Bobby Rio, you've made it too easy"
Bobby Rio, you've made it too easy. You are worth far more than your programs cost. Just fantastic. Thanks brother. All I can say is WOW.
Can I Help You?
Am I the right teacher for you? Should you take one of my trainings or invest in personal coaching?
Well, let’s discuss what you can expect from me on the next page.Next