Dating> Attraction > Nice Guy Mistakes
by Bobby Rio • Updated: September 14, 2022
See Also
- 99.9% of Women Chase You When You Say “THIS”
- 4 Ways to Regain Her Respect & Attraction
- Are You a “Romantic Challenge” or Too Easy?
Avoid “THESE” Nice Guy Mistakes That Kill Her Attraction
Once a girl knows she has you, it’s over and you’ll never have her.
In this article, I’m going to go through three “nice guy” mistakes that will land you in the friend zone and scare away a girl that initially liked you.
Have You Ever Been Here?
Maybe you’ve been in this position:
You thought a girl was into you.
Now she’s not responding to your texts.
Maybe at first she’s just not responding as fast as she normally does, but you know something’s different.
Sure enough, she slipped away.
Chances are it’s because you made one of these three mistakes.
The Danger of These Mistakes
What’s dangerous about them is that they’re the advice that you’re going to hear in the media and movies.
It’s the advice that your grandma would give you. It’s the advice that you hear from your female friends.
That’s what’s so confusing and that’s why an article like this is going to challenge some views you might have.
What I’m going to say comes straight from experience.
“Nice Guy” Mistake #1: Flowers & Gifts
The first of the big mistakes is sending a girl flowers at work or even just buying her any sort of gift.
I see this over and over.
Guys say, “I sent her flowers at work and she got kind of weird after it,” or I’ve had guys, “I helped her pay her rent. I paid for her mortgage. I bought her this pocketbook she wanted.”
It will always give her this feeling that something’s off. She doesn’t know quite what, but her attraction to you in that moment dissipates.
I understand why guys make this mistake. Logically, you think, “I like getting gifts, so if I give her a gift, she’ll like it. She’ll feel good. Then she’s going to associate those good feelings with me.”
Unfortunately, with dating, it doesn’t work like that.
One of the reasons it doesn’t work is because you always want to make a woman like you because of the attraction and emotions that she feels toward you.
A lot of the emotions that create attraction, that make a girl fall in love with you, is completely different than what you think.
One important emotion is uncertainty.
The Magic of Uncertainty
Think about when you’re falling for a girl and you’re not sure how she feels about you or she’s not responding to your texts.
That’s when your wheels start spinning.
That’s when you’re like, “What’s going on? I really want to see this girl.”
The minute she all of a sudden goes, “I’m in love with you,” if it happens too soon or without you having to work for it, there’s a little bit of you that goes, “Mmm, this came a little too easy. What’s wrong with her?”
It’s almost like you don’t appreciate it.
You want to work a little bit. You want that experience of not knowing, of being a little unsure because that’s where so much of the fun of dating lies is in that uncertainty.
Many guys are afraid to give that woman any uncertainty because they think, “If she doesn’t know exactly how I feel, she might fall for another guy or I might lose her.”
Hilariously, the truth is the exact opposite.
Sending flowers eliminates uncertainty.
And it also creates additional problems because it’s:
- Cliché
- Unimaginative
- Creepy
Girls like it but not for the reason you think.
They like it because they laugh about it. I learned this the hard way.
I’m not preaching to you without having gone through this mistake.
I remember my brother one time going, “Just get her a big bouquet.” It didn’t work.
Disclaimer
If you have a girlfriend – a girl that you’re in a committed relationship with – and you’re sending that girl flowers, that’s totally fine.
But if she’s not your girlfriend, do not send her flowers.
If you haven’t had sex with her, all these rules apply.
If you make any mistakes, chances are you won’t have sex with her.
See Also
- #1 Way to Get a Girl Hooked on You (proven)
- How to Make Her Think About You Non-Stop
- 15 Texts That Reveal How She Secretly Feels
“Nice Guy” Mistake #2: Confessing Feelings Too Soon
The second mistake is confessing your feelings too soon.
I remember I went on a date with this adorable girl that I met online.
We were having the best date in the world: doing shots, dancing, hanging out…
By the end of the date, I’m just like a giddy little boy.
I gushed, “You’re so cute. I like you so much. I haven’t met any cool girls like you in a long time.”
I was shooting myself in the foot by saying that, but I didn’t know it at the time.
At the time, I assumed she felt the same way I did.
The minute you start saying that to a girl, she knows she has you. It’s over and you’ll never have her.
Write that down.
In college, before I knew this stuff, I would confess my feelings to a girl and she would give me a pity pat like, “That’s really nice.”
Then I’d watch her go chase some guy that was keeping her guessing, leaving her in that place of uncertainty.
Sometimes he would go hot and cold, but he would never come out and say, “Hey, I really like you. Be my girlfriend.”
You can’t say that too early. You can only say it to a girl you’ve been seeing for a long time. Usually she’ll be the one to bring it up the talk about becoming your girlfriend.
In fact, that’s another rule: always make her bring it up the subject of commitment.
The Truth About the “Commitment Talk”
If you’re dating a girl, don’t be the one to go, “So what is this? Are you seeing anybody else?”
Let her bring up that conversation.
Keep that in your back pocket as long as possible.
Guys will often ask, “I can’t let a girl know that I like her?”
My answer is: You can let a girl know that you want to bang her. Don’t hide the fact that you’re sexually attracted to her. But don’t let her know immediately that you want to be her boyfriend.
You wanting to be her boyfriend is what she wants to work for.
She wants to go to her friends and say, “What do I have to do? He didn’t text.”
She wants that drama and that uncertainty.
If you come right out and start talking relationships, you’re taking that gift of missing you away from her.
If you can get her to read an article like this to decipher your behavior, you’re doing the right thing.
The whole reason you’re reading this is probably because you have one girl in mind, that one girl that you really want.
You want to be the guy that inspirers those same feelings in her because it’s that experience that women want and, as guys, I don’t think we even fully appreciate.
Look at romantic comedies and what women are interested in.
These screenwriters understand this. When you watch a romantic comedy, the main character is a woman going through an experience of uncertainty. “He likes me, he doesn’t like me.”
As you watch it, you’re going, “Are they going to get together at the end?”
Do Women Like Jerks?
Some men make the mistake of thinking, “Women like assholes. Women like jerks.”
If you find yourself saying that, you’re missing what they really find attractive about jerks.
A woman isn’t attracted to a jerk because he puts her down or talks like an asshole.
A woman is attracted to a jerk because he’s hard to catch.
A lot of guys in a friend zone go, “I don’t know why she’s still with him. She’s always complaining about her boyfriend.”
You have to understand women like the drama. They’re complaining about him because they can’t quite have him. They’re always chasing him.
When I used to hear a woman complain about a jerk boyfriend, I would make the mistake of presenting myself as the opposite of him.
Don’t do that. If you do, it will lead you into our third mistake.
“Nice Guy” Mistake #3: Being Too Available
Time after time, you’ll see a woman who’s into a jerk.
He’s hanging out with his friends instead of meeting up with her.
He cancels plans at the last minute.
We hear her complain about it, so we try to be the opposite. We think, “Oh, I won’t hang out with my friends. I’ll be there for her because that’s what she wants.”
That’s not what she wants.
Don’t be the dependable guy picking her up at two in the morning, driving her home. She’ll know that you’re always there. She’ll have you figured out.
The whole ride back to her house, she’s going to be complaining about the guy that she really likes.
A Mentor’s Shocking Advice
My mentor once said to me, “If you really want to understand a woman and what attracts her, listen to her when she talks about her exes. Ask her what she hated about her last boyfriend.”
I’ve had girlfriends that will complain about their exes. Usually, the thing a girl complains about her exes… is the same thing you need to do to attract he
Now the exception to that rule is if a guy did some legitimately bad and hurtful stuff.
But usually, a woman talking about her ex is giving you her attraction blueprint.
Using Uncertainty
As human beings, we’re naturally programmed to chase things that are confusing and uncertain.
We want to know the answer. We hate incomplete things.
You want to make that your priority early on in a relationship, is to leave her wondering.
You may be reading this and thinking, “That make sense,” but when you’re hanging out with her, be careful that your emotions don’t take over.
Think of your emotions as a dickless virgin whispering bad advice: “Text her again. Maybe her phone is broken.”
Her phone’s not broken, I promise you. She got your text.
Avoid These 5 Mistakes When a Girl Starts “Pulling Away”
The Next Step
To help you create uncertainty with the woman you want, we created something a little sneaky, a little nefarious.
We call it the Scrambler.
It’s a roadmap that guides you along.
This isn’t politically correct to say, but it’s a little bit of a mind game.
If you use it correctly, by the end, she’s going to be reading articles like this trying to decipher your behavior.
She’s going to be on the computer googling, “What did it mean when he said this?”
Other guys are going to be pushed out of her head because she’s going to be focusing all her attention and desire on you.
We have a link to a video about the Scrambler below.
It walks you through the step-by-step process to get her infatuated with you…
… and to get that dickless virgin out of your head.
Make sure you don’t ruin your chances by making those three mistakes.
They’re simple in theory, but if you don’t have a roadmap, you often forget because your emotions take over.
All of a sudden you’re going, “Why did I do that? Why did I pay off her mortgage?”
