3 Flirting Tips That Make a Girl Want You

DatingFlirting > Flirting Tips
by Rob Judge • Updated: August 07, 2022

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Three Flirting Tips to Spark Attraction

If you’re stuck in a friendly platonic vibe with a woman, what can you say to move things to an intimate, flirtatious level? To let her know that you want her and to make her want you?

In this article, we’re going to explore three of Rob Judge’s most effective flirting tips to do this.

Setting the Stage to Flirt

Don’t walk up to a woman and go straight into saying these lines.

For these lines, you should have already established a little bit of rapport. Something like 10 minutes into a date or a couple minutes into talking to a woman for the first time.

We all know conversations usually begin with pleasantries, small talk, comments on the weather… In the back of your mind, you know you’re only in first gear.

You need to shift to second gear and then to third gear.

These lines will help you turn it up a notch.

Flirting Tip #1: A Shameless Compliment

For this tactic, you need to have no shame about telling her that you appreciate something that you’re seeing.

The reason that this works: when most guys compliment a woman, they go with the flowery, “You’re so beautiful. Your eyes light up the room,” and it sounds like it came out of a bad romantic comedy.

Those compliments don’t work because they create an awkward moment.

A shameless compliment works because you’re essentially saying the same thing – telling her she’s beautiful, telling her you like her eyes – but you’re emphasizing the fact that you’re shameless about it.

An example of shamelessly flirting:

“Oh man, you look amazing in that dress. And I’m kind of pissed at you, too, because I’m just a guy. I came tonight, I was looking to be completely charming, total gentleman, but then you wore this dress and you look amazing and I’m going to be so distracted. I’m going to try hard, not to be distracted by all this, but you know, again, I’m just a guy. So if I fuck up, if I stutter, if I act like an idiot, it’s your fault, because you look amazing in this dress.”

Push-Pull & Tension

Shameless compliments work because it’s a push-pull thing. You’re pulling her in, telling her something you like, but then you’re pushing her away by blaming her.

She’s going to laugh because you’re introducing a bit of tension.

It’s also highly effective because you’re breaking rapport.

We talked about how you need to be in rapport first. But you shouldn’t let rapport go on for two long, talking about friends and taking turns telling your own stories.

At a certain point, you need to break rapport and focus things onto the two of you there in that moment.

Now you’re addressing that this is this flirty thing going on. A lot of guys are scared to do that, but you have to do that to get to the next level. It shows that it’s more than just a friendly conversation.

Displaying Cool Vulnerability

Another reason shameless compliments work is that they introduce cool vulnerability.

Bobby and I are both introverts, so sometimes we can be kind of awkward in what we’re trying to explain. And if you try to hide that or try to be cool, it’s not attractive.

But if you address it – like if I said, “I’m stumbling over my words here because you’ve got me nervous,” – all of a sudden it becomes a little charming.

Anything that you can’t control, just own it.

I’m almost calling out what I’m probably going to do down the line that could be interpreted as awkward. I’m preempting it with the cool vulnerability in my shameless compliment, so that when I do do show my area of weakness, it takes the sting out of it.

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Flirting Tip #2:  Use Explicit Restraint

This flirting tip is about stating your intentions.

You’re looking at a beautiful woman that you just met, or you’re a half hour into a date, or you’ve been talking to her for a while at a party and you want to make out with her.

Thoughts like this will go through your head if you’re a red blooded normal guy.

A lot guys fight it or don’t feel comfortable expressing it. Rightfully so, because it would be creepy if you just blurted it out.

If you just say, “Hey, I want to make out with you,” it’s going to be weird. But you can’t deny the fact that there is an attraction.

So the way to work around that paradox is to introduce this idea of explicit restraint.

Examples of flirting with explicit restraint

When the sexual tension is starting to boil and you two are in each other’s personal space, say, “Oh man, the way you look in that dress, I’m totally thinking about making out with you right now, but you know, we can’t because our friends are over there and what would they think about it?”

State what you want to do, but then give an excuse as to why you can’t. You can come up with all kinds of crazy excuses. Use the environment for inspiration.

You could be at a restaurant and say, “The fact that you like that writer… all I can think about now is how much I want to make out with you. But I can’t do that because there’s a family sitting over there and I don’t want to scar those children. I don’t want to put them in therapy by shamelessly making out with you. So I’m going to control myself, but just know like I’m thinking about it.”

You could even take it to crazier territory and say, “I want to kiss you but I can’t, you’re dog’s right there and he would see.”

She’ll probably laugh. But while she’s laughing on the outside, she’ll be thinking about kissing you.

You planted a word picture in her mind.

That’s an expression of sexual intent. But at the same time, you are imposing the restraint.

Future Projecting Your Restraint

You can even use explicit restraint in future projecting.

I was once on a date, and the girl suggested playing tennis together at some point. I realized, “I don’t want to be here tennis buddy. How do I turn up the heat?”

So I said, “Are you going to wear one of those tennis skirts? Because if you do, the entire time I’m going to make a fool of myself playing tennis, because I’m just going to be thinking, ‘I got to kiss this girl.’”

This flirting tip creates sexual tension by making you forbidden fruit.

Flirting Tip #3: Blame Her For Something

Playfully blaming her for something is a great way to increase sexual tension.

It’s a good tactic to use when a woman pumps the brakes or tests you about something.

Maybe she makes fun of your jacket or your hair. Notice something that she’s wearing – hooped earrings, for instance, and reply, “You would say that because, you know, girls who wear hooped earrings are evil anyway.”

Pick anything you want about her – maybe she has a ponytail. “Girls with ponytails are always trouble.”

Notice something about her and playfully assign it a negative quality. I love the term “evil” for this tactic.

It doesn’t even need to really make sense.

I used to go to bars, see a girl drinking a cosmopolitan, and say, “Oh man, I heard girls who drink cosmos are nothing but trouble!”

It grabs her attention and starts the interaction.

Interject a “Playful Vibe” with her

You’re interjecting a vibe that is going to be playful and fun, which is ultimately what flirting is.

Most guys try to say things like, “How are you doing? What are you drinking? What are you doing here tonight?” They go about it on a logical level and it’s not fun.

Fun is important in the vibe because when you’re having fun, you’re projecting your real personality.

When you’re just sitting there asking logical questions, you’re acting like you would in a job interview, projecting a neutered sense of yourself.

To create attraction, you need both you and her to show your natural personalities.

Make it about ‘You And Her’

To turn up the heat, you’ve got to bring the attention onto you and her.

How you see her and how she sees you – that’s where chemistry happens.

Chemistry doesn’t happen when you’re trading stories. Even if you’re telling the funniest story in the world about one of your friends – even if she’s laughing – it’s still not about you and her.

So make it about you and her.

If she tells you she’s a teacher, work that in. Say, “My dad told me, never hook up with a teacher.” Or whatever job she has.

Then she’ll ask, “Why did your dad say that?”

You reply, “I don’t know. But my dad just has a sixth sense.”

Now the conversation is about you and her and there’s this playful vibe.

Break the Formality

When we say these lines make her want you, it’s not like she’s thinking, “Oh that was such a good line, I want him now.”

It’s that it breaks the formality, which creates intimacy.

And when you’re in that intimate level with a woman, it feels good. Think about when you’ve been with a woman and she says something like that.

Imagine if you’re a computer programmer and she says, “Computer programmers are trouble.”

You’re immediately going to sense that she’s flirting.

That’s what these flirting tips do. They bring it to what we call the flirty, funny, touchy-feely level. That’s where the chemistry happens. And that’s where it’s easy to go for the kiss and invite her back to your place.

You’re not going to get her back to your place if you’re having a serious conversation.

3 Phrases That Get Her Chasing You

The Next Step

If the flirty, funny, touchy-feely vibe doesn’t come naturally to you – and it didn’t come naturally to me or Rob – we put together a collection of a lot of techniques to create it in various situations.

When you’re first meeting her or when you’re out on a date.

For example, let’s say you’ve gotten her back to your place by saying you’d show her a TikTok video. Now you’ve shown her the video and it’s become the subject of conversation. You’ve got to find a way to bring the focus back to you and her.

Say something like, “I can see you making a video like this.”

Now it’s you and her again. This is crucial because that’s where the attraction takes place.  For more flirting tips, check the links below.

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