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She Won’t Fall in Love Until You do “THESE” 5 Things (At Least Once)
Do you want a girl to go from kind of liking you to really liking you and wanting to be your girlfriend?
There are five things that you need to do or you’re never going to have her chasing you.
You only need to do these things once.
Love Tip #1: Politely Slow Her Down
Usually, guys are the ones going too fast: confessing their feelings, giving gifts, sending flowers. Making all of the common “Nice Guy” Mistakes.
But sometimes the girl, when she likes you, is going fast.
Maybe it’s week two when she’s like, “Do you want to come meet my sister and her friends? Do you want to go over to my family’s house? They’re having a party.”
Maybe she wants you to text daily.
Maybe she wants to see you the day after you just saw her.
Of course you want to go along with it. You like this girl. You’re excited.
But at least once when she does these things, you’ve got to be the one to politely slow her down.
Tell her, “Hey, I’m going to be busy working on a project this week,” or, “That sounds awesome. I’d love to go. Maybe we’ll do it next week,” or, “Your family sounds great. How about we go on a few more dates first? And then I’ll meet them.”
Bottom line, at least once, politely slow her down.
Example #1: If She’s Texting or Calling too Much
Years ago, Bobby Rio had just started dating a girl who was really cool.
One day, Bobby was with his friends and she called him several times. She was just calling because she was happy.
Bobby answered and told her, “Listen. I’m with my friends. We don’t need to talk so often.”
He felt so bad about it afterwards, because he could tell she was hurt. But then he noticed something.
She liked him even more.
Example #2: Wrestling Night with Friends
Back when Bobby Rio was in college, he was dating a different girl. Monday night wrestling was really popular at the time and all of Bobby’s college friends would go to a bar and watch it.
The girl Bobby had just started dating was wanting to hang out on a Monday. Bobby told her, “Listen. Monday is guys’ night. I watch wrestling with my friends. You and I don’t have to hang out.”
He stated it as if to communicate, “That’s just how it is.”
The girl told him months later, “When you told me that, I was so mad at you. I was so frustrated. But it was kind of like a challenge. It made me think: I’m going to be better than wrestling for him.”
Analysis of Why This will Make a Girl Fall in Love
When a guy is moving too fast and the girl has to slow him down, that’s deadly for attraction.
So beat her to it if you can.
It’s your job to take the lead and slow her down.
Love Tip #2: Politely Disagree with Her
Think about it. With a girl you like, aren’t you tempted to agree with everything she says?
“I like this show on Netflix.”
“I like it, too.”
“Do you like going to this place?”
“Yes, it’s my favorite.”
“Do you like sushi?”
“Oh, I love sushi!”
Guess what? The truth is, I don’t like sushi that much. So I’m not going to agree or go along with it.
At least one time with a girl that you’re dating, you have to disagree with her.
Example #1: Liking a Band
Rob Judge is great at disagreeing in a playful way.
A girl might say, “I love Maroon 5.”
Rob will sound positive as he starts speaking, “Maroon 5…” and his tone of voice will sound like he’s about to agree with her. Then he goes, “I hate them. I can’t listen to Maroon 5.”
So he builds up an expectation, then breaks it in a humorous way. He’s able to not only be a challenge by disagreeing with her, but he’s also able to make it fun.
The Psychology Behind Why it will Make a Girl Fall in Love with you
On a subconscious level, we all want to get rapport with somebody we like, so you start always agreeing.
In some ways, it’s kind of good. You don’t want to constantly be breaking rapport with somebody. But if you’re always agreeing, it comes across like you’re trying too hard and not being completely genuine.
One of the reasons people say “girls like jerks” is because the guys we call “jerks” are not actually being mean, they’re just disagreeing and expressing their true opinion.
On the other hand, the “nice guy” is the one acting in a fake, manipulative way, agreeing with everything.
So at one point, you’ve got to disagree.
More Examples of Disagreeing
Imagine she’s telling you a story about how her roommate did something she found annoying.
She’ll expect you to take her side.
Instead, say, “You know what? I can actually see your roommate’s point of view there. If I was her, I would probably be that way too.”
This is also great to do when she’s badmouthing her ex-boyfriend. She’ll expect you to agree with her, but you want to make a comment like, “He doesn’t sound so bad, sounds like a cool guy. I kinda want to hang out with him.”
Women actually like it when you go against them at points, because it shows that you have autonomy, your own opinion, and your own self. Which are the exact qualities that make a girl chase you.
Play Devil’s Advocate
In cases where you happen to agree with her, feel free to play devil’s advocate, meaning that you disagree with her just for the sake of having a disagreement.
You could say, “Well, what about the people that say this show is boring or too violent, or it’s a copy of an old show?”
If you can’t find something to disagree about, take the opposite position just to have a good conversation.
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Love Tip #3: Make Fun of Love
You’ve got to make fun of love at least once while you’re dating.
It shows you’re fun and you don’t take things too seriously.
When I say, “make fun of love,” I mean make fun of all the guys that fall in love too quickly, that confess their feelings on the second date, that tell her how much they love her after they’ve been out one time.
It’s not about putting anyone down in a mean-spirited way, but just tease it a bit. Do something that makes fun of the falling-in-love process and you’ll win a lot of points with her.
Example #1: Laughing at a Love Song
I’ll tell you what I’ve done in my life.
You can do this via voicemail or voice notes.
When I’d call a girl and she wasn’t there, I’d be like, “Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?” Then I’d sing a love song in a funny way. And then hang up.
They’d call back saying, “Oh, your singing voice is funny. That was so great.”
But it’s deeper than that. What I’m doing is making fun of the fact that I haven’t fallen head-over-heels for her in two or three dates.
She laughs at the joke, but starts to think, “I’m going to get him. I will get him to feel that way about me.”
It becomes a romantic challenge to win you over.
Example #2: Make Fun of A Certain Type
One thing Bobby Rio used to do was take somebody else’s point of view and tell a story that would allow him to make fun of a certain type of guy.
Bobby would tell a story about his female friend, Jackie. He’s say, “My friend Jackie tells me stories about guys who, after two dates, blow up her phone and think they’re her boyfriend. Who are these guys?”
By making fun of those guys, you’re showing her:
- You’re not one of those guys.
- You’re aware enough to know what girls deal with.
- You’re not going to get clingy.
Overcoming Objections In Advance
Girls worry when a guy shows too much interest.
They say, “I think he’s cute, we get along, but I don’t know if I want to be his girlfriend yet.”
Then they put a wall up or she’ll start to “pull away” because they don’t want to lead you on until they’re sure.
But as Jon Sinn says, you can melt away her objection in advance.
By saying something like, “Some of those guys just get so weird. They get so clingy,” or “Oh, yeah. The other girls get so clingy. But you’re not like that, so we can hang out,” you’re telegraphing that you’re not into being clingy.
That takes the pressure off her. And when she doesn’t have that pressure, it allows her to think, “I can have fun with this guy, I can be flirty with him, I can call him, and he’s not going to automatically think I’m his girlfriend after two weeks.”
It’s a big mistake to tell a girl too quickly that you want to be her boyfriend or that you’re in love, because it puts a lot of pressure on a woman. So you want to diffuse that pressure in advance.
Warning: Don’t Go Overboard
There is one caveat to making fun of love. Don’t go overdo it.
She can’t feel like you’re a fake tough guy who’s scared of letting his loving feelings out.
Instead, let her think, “This guy’s a sweet guy, a cool guy, a nice guy, but he’s kind of toying with me, and not revealing it yet and kind of making fun of it.”
Years ago, when Bobby Rio first started figuring this out, he went overboard.
He met a beautiful girl named Grace at a party. But on the first date, he blurted out, “I’m not looking for anything serious. Love is for suckers.”
He never saw Grace again.
Either she knew he was putting on a tough guy act, or he seemed like a guy who would bang her and never talk to her again.
The lesson is: just make a subtle comment showing that you don’t take falling in love too seriously.
It’s great if she knows, “I think he kind of likes me,” but hold back on giving her more. Show her your playful side instead.
How Make Her Go From “Liking You” to “Loving You”
Love Tip #4: Be Willing to Walk Away
We’re not saying do this 100 times.
But at least once, you have to show you can walk away from her. At least one time, you have to show this in a relationship.
It could be a big dramatic blow-up where you walk away, but it doesn’t have to be.
If that opportunity doesn’t present itself, it could be something very small instead.
For example: you go to a party with her. You’re not attached to her the whole time. You go off and talk to other people. You just show, in the slightest way, that you can leave her.
When we teach guys how to meet new women, we say:
- approach women
- talk to them
- then leave them alone
- and go talk to somebody else.
You can also do it in a space where you demonstrate a boundary.
Let’s say you’re dating a girl who’s been acting flaky, canceling plans.
One day she calls you and says, “I’m going to be late.” And you’re just like, “Listen, you know what? Let’s do it some other time. I’m not in the mood for this.”
Just cancel on her.
Example #1: Walking Away Because You Can’t Deal with Her Behavior
In one of my past relationships, we were at that three-month mark. We hadn’t said, “I love you,” yet but we both kind of knew we wanted to say it. And my philosophy is I never want to say it first. It has to be her idea.
She had dated somebody I knew, and it was this weird element between us. Something came up with him and I go, “Listen, I can’t deal with you having dated somebody that I was friends with. This is just too much for me.”
The next day, she came over and said, “But I love you.”
It was the first time she told me “I love you” and it was because I showed that I was willing to walk away.
That situation naturally happened, I didn’t manufacture it. And you don’t want to manufacture something like that. There are plenty of natural opportunities all the time.
“I don’t know if I can deal with this,” is a great phrase to use.
Let’s say you’re out with a girl and she’s talking to some other guy. A lot of guys will stand there like a doofus.
Instead, just walk away.
Let her see you walk away and have her chase you down.
When you’re dating a woman, take out your checklist and ask yourself: “Have I shown her at least once that I can walk away?”
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Love Tip #5: Make Yourself the Prize
Women are always portrayed as the prize, but if you believe they’re the prize, you’ll never have them.
Make yourself the prize. Or at least make it even.
But there’s one area where women really own the prize space: physical intimacy.
They’re considered the prize so completely that we even use the phrase “getting lucky” when a guy gets laid. As in she allowed you to do this.
If you can steal just a little piece of that prize frame from her, even one time, and make it seem like you’re the prize in that area, she’s going to like you even more.
Use This on the First Kiss
On your first kiss with that woman you like, you’re going to be tempted to keep kissing her forever.
You’ll want to keep going until she puts the brakes on.
That only reinforces the idea that she’s the prize and you’re not.
Instead, be the one to stop first with kissing and go, “Maybe you’ll get more of this later.”
In a playful way, you’re making yourself the prize. That’s something girls are just not used to.
And its a BIG PART of how to make a girl fall in love.
Example #1: Declining Easy Sex
I had a friend named Jeff who was a natural with women.
To him, the best night was going out drinking with his friends. And he’d have girls that were ready to go home with him. But he’d be like, “Nah.” He’d drink, and you know he’s not going to be able to perform later.
“Jeff, can we leave?” a girl would say. And he’d say, “No. One more drink.”
He’d keep drinking. And the girls kept waiting for him.
Jeff got women naturally because he made himself the prize in he one area where women are usually the prize.
But too many guys do the opposite. Too many guys make the mistake of waiting around until the woman is ready to go.
Example #2: The Pull-Away
Another way to make yourself the prize in the realm of physical intimacy is to pull away when she goes to kiss you.
I had a client whose girlfriend used to use that on him. They were in an “are we on a break / are we not on a break” type of period. Sometimes she would pull away when he tried to kiss her. She would say, “No, we can’t fool around, because we’re taking a break.”
He would then try giving her a massage. I told him, “No, no. The minute she tells you that, roll over. Get on your phone. Start checking sports. Just give her the cold shoulder.”
He did it… and I got a message from him the next day. He wrote, “You are a freaking genius. I rolled over. I froze her out, and she literally started massaging me and wound up turning me over and climbing on top of me.”
This worked because girls need, at least once, to have to pursue you sexually.
Warning: Do It Playfully
If you come off as trying too hard to be the prize, you are not the prize. The real prize doesn’t try extra hard. So maintain a laid back vibe.
In the case of client from the last example, when he rolled over and started checking his phone, I told him, “Do not tell her that you’re doing this because she’s doing it. Do not say, ‘Well, you ignored me.’”
If she says, “Why are you ignoring me? What are you doing?” Just casually say, “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just looking at my phone. Everything’s cool.”
Don’t act like you’re mad. Just be more interested in your phone than trying to hook up with her.
He took my advice and he and his girlfriend are still together to this day.
Stories like that are one of the great things about working with guys.
I’ve been coaching guys for 13 years, so I’ve seen a lot of tough situations.
A lot of the guys that come to us, they’ve already messed up. Maybe they’re in the friend zone. Maybe their girlfriend is pulling away. Maybe they want to turn things around. And they’ve made some mistakes, so a lot of times, I have to come up with a really new strategy.
Every one of these things we went through today has been a lesson we honed through coaching guys.
When you get an outside perspective, it really helps. But don’t listen to your friends who will tell you to make a bold move or send a woman flowers. Enlist one of our private coaches instead. We can turn around the tough cases.
I was recently working with a guy. He actually was somebody that came to me pretty early in the process and hadn’t made a lot of mistakes. And we went through the whole thing and we got him the girl that he wanted and they’re boyfriend/girlfriend now.
He said to me, “Chris, I feel pretty lucky that I came to you this early in the process, because I think if I waited another week or two, we wouldn’t have been able to turn this around.”
The Best Advice I Can Give You
And that’s the best advice. If you have an issue right now, get in. We’ll deal with it. We’ll start turning it around. But don’t wait too long, because you want to give yourself the best chance to get this girl.
We found that most holes, if they’re not too deep, you can dig yourself out of. But there does come a point where you’ve dug such a deep hole that it becomes what we call a miracle case.
We pride ourselves on doing anything we can. And we’ve done it. And there’s cases that I didn’t think would turn around and we ended up turning them around.
But then sometimes, it’s just not possible. The sooner you do work on it with us, the better the odds of getting the girl.
Knowledge is this weird thing. Sometimes you can understand everything perfectly while you’re reading an article like this… then you get around the girl you like and your brain tuns to mush.
You’re in emotional quicksand, because she hasn’t texted you in a day. And that’s when private coaching is important.
To see the packages that I offer and get a quick rundown on how the coaching process works, click the link below.