Dating > Conversation > Older Guys
by Bobby Rio • Updated: July 20, 2022
- 5 Ways to Get a Younger Woman’s Attention
- 3 “Older Guy” Mistakes Men Make with Girls
- 5 Traits Younger Women Chase
Displaying “Attractive Confidence” When You’re Over 40
How can you display confidence when talking to a woman?
Especially if you’re older than her, and even if you feel a little out of your element talking to her?
So, a lot of my private clients are men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, and a lot of times these guys have been out of the game for awhile.
And now they’re reentering the dating scene, but because they’ve been away for so long, or maybe never really mastered it, they experience a profound lack of confidence when they’re talking to a woman.
Now, if you know anything about “the game of dating” you probably already know that it’s important to project confidence.
Now, when you’re an older guy, its even more important. In fact, its critically important, especially if you’re talking to a younger woman.
There is a big reason for this, I’ll tell you why in a second…
Common “Older Guy” Scenario with Younger Women
One of my clients, Bruce, who’s in his early 50s, went on a couple dates with this woman in her early 30s.
And he said it started off “hot” and “heavy.”
She was very physically attracted to him, but by the third date, things had cooled off.
And her whole demeanor towards him had changed.
And when we started dissecting what happened it became crystal clear.
The girl, let’s call her Tina. She was attracted to older guys.
A lot of guys don’t realize that there are a lot of girls out there that actively want to date an older guy. As Bruce and I started talking about it, he even mentioned her last boyfriend was 20 years older than her too.
But what I pointed out to Bruce, was that there was a disconnect between her fantasy of this mature, worldly, confident guy…
And bumbling Bruce, who make mistakes like:
- Came across insecure
- Let her lead the interactions
- Was actively seeking her approval (instead of the other way around)
I always tell my clients, your age can be an advantage or a disadvantage, its totally up to you
3 Ways “Older Guys” Can Display Confidence to a Younger Woman
So, I want to talk about a few ways that you can display confidence early on talking to a woman.
Now these are practical techniques you can test out tonight.
Ok lets’ get into them.
Technique #1: Give her a name
There is a saying; “He who names, owns.”
So, this is a little trick to project and gain a little dominance.
When you’re talking to a woman, after she mentions her name, repeat it, so that she knows you know it.
Then give her a nickname.
This is the classic move of a man who is comfortable with women. It shows a kind of “ownership” – you’ve named her, you’ve categorized her.
There are a whole host of reasons it’s great for establishing rapport and creating “inside jokes”
And then later, when you’re texting her, and she’s got a dozen other guys, you’re the only one calling her a specific nick name.
So, she knows exactly who the text is from.
Examples of Nicknames You Can Give Her
It could be something generic like “dude” or “bro”.
Sometimes it fun to give a little masculine name to entice her to display more femininity around you.
Because the more feminine a woman finds herself acting around you, the more attracted to you she becomes.
Other good ones are TROUBLE. Kind of entices her to be rebellious. And it’s playful.
Another of the things I’ve noticed that a lot of guys who are good with women do is call them “little”.
- Little girl
- little one
- little princess,
But the idea of conveying to a girl that you’re bigger than her is powerful since women are biologically designed to be attracted to men that are bigger and stronger and masculine.
“Little” is a good word that can be used to tease her or as term of affection depending on the situation.
So, giving her a nickname.
- 5 Words That Turn Every Woman On
- Proven Formula for Passing Women’s “Tests”
- Say THIS to Make Her Fall in Love
Technique #2: Non judgmental qualification
In any interaction with a woman, you always want to take on the role of the judge and not the one being judged.
A lot of times a guy, because he’s a little insecure, will go into approval seeking mode.
And he will start:
- explaining himself
- trying to impress
- stumbling when a woman asks him questions…
And your value is immediately LOWERED when that happens.
Instead practice something I call Non judgmental qualification.
This means you are subtly getting the woman to qualify herself to you, instead of the other way around.
Non judgmental means it’s more out of curiosity than judgement, and it’s more challenging than condescending.
Example of Non-Judgmental Qualification
So let’s say you’re talking to a woman and you find out she works in a vet’s office. And you ask her why she got into that.
Now, her first answer might be that she loves animals.
And now, most guys, hungry to gain rapport with the woman, would immediately try to show her that they love animals, and tell her how cool it is what she does.
But, instead, qualify her some more.
Say something like “yea, but you could have gotten a job at a zoo, or pet store, or opened a doggie day care… what attracted you to working with a vet.”
Now she might say, “well, I’ve always been good around sick people, and I like to take care of people and animals”
See, it’s minor, but what you did that, is you made her work more to qualify herself to you.
Most of the time, women are used to guys working to impress them, instead of the other way around.
And the fact that you don’t immediately give her approval or validate her, subtly tells her that you have higher standards.
Now, the next little confidence trick I want to share with you, is lead the conversation.
Technique #3: Lead the Conversation
A lot of times if you’re dealing with a talkative or chatty girl, she’ll hammer you with questions.
And a lot of times, these questions won’t take the conversation anywhere. And worse, the more questions of hers that you’re answering, the more she is the one leading the conversation.
So you want to get in the habit of answering and leading the vibe.
And one way to do that is never answer a direct question she gives you.
Example of Leading the Conversation
So let’s say she says: “Do you watch a lot of sports?”
Now, some women are asking that question to weed out guys who spend their Sundays staring at the TV.
So in a way, she’s qualifying you.
So rather than say “yes” or “no”…
Lead her into a deeper conversation.
Here’s an example of a better response..
“That’s interesting, I spent some time in Colombia recently, and one of the things i found really interning was that the entire city basically closes down for soccer games, or they call it football. And at first, I really thought it was completely unproductive, i’ve always been a business guy, so it just seemed like why would you let a sport dictate your life like that. But I came to really appreciate the community behind it, the sense of rapport they had with each other, just in this shared love a team. And man, you’ve never seen a party until you seen a Colombian’s celebrating their teams victory. Have you ever experienced anything like that, where a whole community of people are just in complete synchronicity, even for a few hours?”
So, you see how I lead the conversation away from her qualifying me, made it more interesting, and then asked her a deeper question?
I mean, how much better is that then saying “Yea, I’m a huge patriots fan.”
#1 Dating Tip for “Older Men”
Free Training for “Older Guys”
I just wrapped up a brand new, completely, free live class that I do a couple of times a week with my friend Hank.
It’s called “How to Turn Your Age Into the Ultimate Advantage With Women.”
And it’s specifically geared for guys in their late 30s, 40s, 50s, and even 60s.
Some of what we cover in the class:
- How to play into a younger woman’s “fantasy” and have her chasing you…
- 3 “older guy” traits that women secretly desire (and exactly how to convey them to her)
- How to position yourself as THE PRIZE (so that a younger woman chases your approval, instead of the other way around)
- How to avoid 5 common “older guy” mistakes that scare a girl away (even if she initially liked you)
- Places to meet younger women (where you have the advantage)
- How to establish a “lover role” BEFORE being her “mentor” (and avoid the friend zone that so many older guys wind up in)