5 “Older Guy” Traits Women Chase…

Dating > Attraction > Older Guy Traits
by Bobby Rio Updated: August 2, 2022

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What Makes an “older Man” Sexy to Women?

Many of my clients are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. They often get immediate results when they realize the “untapped” potential they have in the dating scene.

A lot of them say, “It’s easier now than it was in my 20s.”

This stems from the fact that there are younger women out there who find older guys instinctively more attractive.

So in this article, we’re going to discuss the five biggest “older guy” traits that women chase.

But first…

Let’s Dispel the Money Myth

I know the first thing anybody says is, “If a younger woman likes an older guy, it’s all about money.”


The truth is that there’s plenty of older guys with average incomes that do well with women. They come out of a divorce or a long-term relationship and find the dating scene is easy.

That’s because there are qualities that older guys have that are irresistible to women. You simply have to learn how to embrace these traits.

“Older Guy” Quality #1: Certainty

Confidence is certainty.

It’s believing that:

  • You’re the best option.
  • The date location you pick is the best venue.
  • What you’re interested in is the best activity.

A trap many men fall into is losing their certainty by thinking there are negative connotations about being older. They’re unsure what music is popular. They’re unsure which places are trendy.

So they second-guess themselves.

They’re afraid of choosing a date location that the woman won’t like… so they weasel around it to get the woman to choose the venue.

Or they don’t make a move, even when a woman is sending them all the signs. They chicken out by taking on the role of a mentor instead.

Stop second-guessing yourself and remember: woman have “make up my mind for me syndrome.”

They want a good experience, but aren’t attached to an exact blueprint of what that experience will be.

She’s Looking For Clues

When a woman meets you and feels attraction to you, it could go either way very quickly.

You can become the creepy old man or the sexy older guy.

You determine which role you fit into. She’s looking at you for the clues.

If you doubt yourself and project low self-esteem, she’s going to find you creepy.

How to Exude Certainty:

  • Be certain that she’ll enjoy talking with you.
  • Be certain that going on a date with you would be a great choice for her.
  • Be certain that you’re the best option.

If you exude that strongly enough, she’s going to agree.

“Older Guy” Quality #2: Non-Reactiveness

Non-reactiveness means you’re able to hold your composure, no matter what happens.

When a younger woman meets you, she won’t be sure about you at first. So she’ll test you.

She may say, “How old are you? You’re my dad’s age.”

She may make fun of something you’re wearing.

Subconsciously, she’s doing it to see if you lose your cool around her.

The more you keep your composure and let those comments roll off of you, the more attractive you become.

How to Pass These “Tests”

So if a woman says, “How old are you?” and you start going, “Well, I’m 55 but I look good. And nobody really thinks I’m that age,” you just failed that test because you reacted to it. You started explaining and justifying yourself.

This makes her realize, “Oh, I have all the power in this situation. He’s trying to impress me.”

She’ll lose attraction.

Younger Women Want to Impress “Older Men”

Because a younger woman doesn’t want an older guy to have to impress her. She wants to have to impress him.

Her entire life, she’s thought that older guys are distinguished and sophisticated. She believes she should have to impress them.

So if a woman says, “I don’t like guys that wear those shoes,” and you sarcastically reply, “Thanks for the fashion advice,” and go straight back to what you were talking about before… you just passed her test.

Because you didn’t react. And that’s what she wants.

Even though she’s testing you to throw you off, the more you’re able to keep your cool, the more attraction she begins to feel.

Learn to love when a women tests you, because it gives you an opportunity to pass the test and make her even more attracted to you.

“Older Guy” Quality #3: Quiet Power

Quiet power is when you have an authoritative presence around people… NOT when you lose your cool and throw your temper around.

Quiet power is when she feels safe around you because you get shit done and you don’t have to make a big deal about it.

Younger guys tend to not have their shit together.

With a younger guy, the woman sometimes has to take on the dominant role because the guy is so clueless.

But women don’t want to be in the masculine role. So when she meets an older guy who has that quiet dominating power, she finds it magnetic.

Here’s a classic example of how to display quiet power.

On a date, when she orders a steak rare and it comes well-done, you might notice that she’s nervous to send it back. That’s when you call the waiter over and quietly, confidently say, “Hey, she ordered this rare, can you have the cook make another one?”

You’re showing a masculine side and taking initiative.

A lot of younger guys would be scared to call the waiter over. They would think, “He’s going to spit in the food!” They don’t have that commanding presence that an older guy has.

When you present that calm, commanding presence to a woman, she’ll find it alluring.

“Older Guy” Quality #4: Integrity

Integrity is when you do what you say you’re going to do and don’t make excuses for yourself.

Never adopt a victim mentality.

Integrity With Money

You can’t be piss-poor at 50 years-old and say that it’s other people’s fault. You don’t need to be rich, but you need to be financially stable and stand on your own feet.

When an older guy is living with his parents and making excuses for why he’s not rich, it’s a turnoff.

If you say, “I could have been more successful, but my old business partner was the one who ruined things,” you’re not taking responsibility.

Integrity is when you take full responsibility for everything in your life. That’s attractive to a woman because it makes her feel secure around you.

Integrity With Plans

When a younger woman meets a guy who says something and then does it, it turns her on.

Knowing that she can count on your word is important because most guys aren’t like that.

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“Older Guy” Quality #5: Taking Claim

I never really knew this word until my friend Hank summed it up.

You have to claim things.

The guys in life who are successful with their careers don’t wait for approval. They don’t wait for some authority figure to come along and say, “It’s okay now. You can do it.”

They claim it.

It’s the same thing with asking out a woman.

Claim her as being yours. Not in a creepy way, but in a psychological way where you’re like, “I truly believe I’m going to date her.”

When you believe that, it exudes confidence, which is attractive.

Compare that to the average guy who lacks certainty, so he never claims his chance with a woman. He’ll say, “I took her on a date, but I couldn’t tell if she liked me, so I never made a move.”

That’s unattractive because as an older guy you’re supposed to be the leader in the interaction. Don’t wait for a woman to spoon-feed you instructions and say, “It’s okay for you to kiss me now.”

The MeToo Effect

I know some guys are going to wonder about the MeToo movement. Going for a kiss on a date does not place you in that category. MeToo is Harvey Weinstein doing really messed up shit.

Going for a kiss on a date is human dynamics. That’s what two humans do when they’re attracted to each other. And not doing it places you in the friend zone.

Older Guys in the “Friend Zone”

Remember: a woman doesn’t put you in the friend zone, you put yourself there by the way you act towards her.

Unfortunately, some nice “older guys” act like a friend because they’re insecure to let their real intentions be known.

Maybe they feel guilty that they’re attracted to this woman. Maybe they feel like it’s wrong to hit on a coworker or on a woman 10 years younger.

The truth is, women are attracted to your attitude. If your vibe is saying, “You couldn’t possibly be attracted to me” then you’re making up her mind for her.

Like I said, women have “make up my mind for me syndrome.”

Quick Recap

As an older guy, stop obsessing about things like money and start thinking:

  • How can I incorporate being more certain?
  • How can I be non-reactive and look forward to tests?
  • Where are my opportunities to demonstrate quiet power?
  • How can I live a life full of integrity?
  • Do I have a healthy mental claim on my shot with this woman?

#1 Dating Tip for “Older Guys”

The Next Steps for an “Older Guy”

I have a completely free on-demand class that I do a couple of times a week with my friend Hank.

Hank is 55 years old and has a wealth of information. I often ask him questions to help my clients out. He’s under-the-radar these days but I got him to record a special training session with me.

We call it How to Turn Your Age Into the Ultimate Advantage With Women.”

It’s geared for guys in their late 30s, 40s, 50s, and even 60s.

We talk about the common tests, like, “How old are you?” and how to respond. We talk about practical ways to demonstrate certainty, claim, integrity, and quiet power. We talk about other things that I didn’t mention today that women find attractive in older guys. And we teach you how to showcase these traits.

Stop thinking, “I have to show women that I have money,” because it’s not money. It’s the things that we’re going to discuss in this new training, completely free.