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Small Talk Secrets
When it comes to talking to women, it seems one of the hardest aspects for men is making small talk. While most of you can probably make small talk… the question is… can you make small talk fun, playful, and sexy?
Or do you just wind up boring the woman?
Let’s take the time right now to really break down the art of small talk, and really figure how to make small talk exciting and attractive-rather than dull and boring.
- What type of small talk women find boring
- What type of small talk women find fun
With this approach it will help us gain some understanding of the criteria that is most important. And then I can give you some good small talk tips.
The 90% Rule
Have you ever noticed that most conversations don’t pick up steam until about 5-10 minutes in?
This is because when you start talking to someone new, especially somebody you do not know yet, they are going to be just as cold inside their heads as you were before you psyche yourself up – making yourself ready to start that conversation.
Small talk needs time to build “conversation momentum.”
The problem most guys face is that don’t ever give their small talk a chance to build that “momentum.”
Most guys expect to hit this “conversation flow” too quickly. And because of this the opposite effect happens… and their conversations just “stall out.”
Well you have to carry the conversation.
Be prepared, in the first five or so minutes, to carry the conversation by providing 90%, or even sometimes 100% of all the content until the girl gets warmed up a little bit.
How do you do that?
That’s what we’re going to cover in this Small Talk guide.
1. What makes Small Talk Boring?
a.) Any type of small talk that seems forced or awkward is a really big turn off for women.
Women don’t like awkwardness. And if a woman senses that you’re shy, nervous, or insecure around you, she is likely not going to invest in the conversation. And if she isn’t interested in keeping the conversation going… it will make your job much harder.
b.) Women hate “interview style” small talk.
“Interview style” small talk is when you just continually ask a woman a series of questions about her job, school, family, hometown, ect. This gets boring fast.
This type of small talk is especially boring if she senses that you’re not even listening to her answers. There is nothing worse than someone who is just asking questions because he can’t think of any other way to keep the conversation going.
c.) Women hate “uncomfortable silence”
One of the worst things you can do during small talk is to let there be a series of uncomfortable silences.
Brief silence from time to time is ok. But if you hear birds chirping during your conversations with women… chances are she is getting bored.
You must be able to keep a conversation going if you want to make small talk that attracts women.
d.) Avoid small talk topics that could lead to unnecessary ill feelings.
While a little playful “banter” with a woman is fine. Small talk topics like religion or politics might wind up stirring up some ill feelings that could have easily been avoided if you stick to some of the conversation topics we’ll talk about in the next section.
Understanding these issues, you really can’t blame for not wanting a weak, insecure, inexperienced, boring, or disheveled man who can’t keep a conversation interested. Ask yourself… do you enjoy this type of conversation?
5 “Nice Guy” Conversation Mistakes
Now let’s talk about…
2. What Small Talk is Interesting to Women?
a.) Women love small talk that involves conversation topics that they find interesting.
I’ve identified 12 conversation topics that work best for connecting with a woman. Some of these topics include music, food, childhood memories, observations about her, and traveling. If you want to read more about this, read this article on the best conversation topics.
b.) Draw out emotions out of the woman you’re talking to.
Woman love feeling emotions. This is why topics like traveling, childhood memories, and music work really well for making small talk. Because these topics tend to lead a woman into an emotional state. It is much easier to connect with someone and create rapport when the both of you are in a highly charged emotional state.
c.) Keep the small talk “in the moment.”
This means that you’re laughing and making jokes about what is currently going on around you.
This is because it identifies the two of you are connecting. You can stay in the moment by making observations about your surroundings. Or you can stay in the moment by making observations about her. Remember, women love talking about themselves.
d.) Appear relaxed, confident, and playful
You want to make sure that you appear relaxed, confident, and playful while making small talk with a girl. You also want to try to make sure that you’re the one leading the conversation along.
Women like men who take control. They don’t want the burden of keeping the conversation going.
f.) Another good tactic for keeping small talk interesting is to tell good stories. A good story will interest just about anyone you’re talking to. So instead of just reciting facts, tell stories that evoke emotions.
These 5 Tricks Spark the Vibe
20 Ways to Make Small Talk More Flirtatious
#1. When talking to women, focus on making statements and expressing opinions rather that just asking her a bunch of questions.
#2. Focus a good chunk of the conversation on her. Make observations about her sense of style, traits of her personality, or your initial impression of her.
#3. Don’t use “compliments” as a means to keep the conversation going. Excessively complimenting a woman because you can’t think of anything else to say will not impress her. It will bore her.
#4. Find little games to play in your conversation. In my free report, Small Talk Tactics, I list three really good games you can play with women.
#5. Keep the topics of conversation focused on things like childhood memories, observations, travel, unusual stories, or interests and passions.
#7. Try to be a little cock and funny.
#8. If you run out of things to say, and face awkward silence… instead of pretending it isn’t happening, simply make a joke like “wow, we just had our first uncomfortable silence… don’t worry, we’ll get through it.”
#9. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion and disagree with her. It is better that you express your personality.
#10. Tell her engaging stories. Women like drama, emotions, and intrigue. Learn to tell a story in a way that captures her attention.
#11. Don’t treat small talk like a job interview. Instead, be relaxed and playful.
#13. If you’re new to this, and don’t know what to say, don’t be afraid to use canned pua routines. Eventually you’ll want to make up your own though.
#14. Avoid complimenting a woman on her looks, eyes, or body.
#15. Compliment a woman on her personality, her sense of style, or her “energy”
#16. If the two of you are having a good time, don’t be afraid to introduce elements of sexuality into a conversation.
#17. Tease her.
#18. Don’t be afraid to call a woman out on her bullshit. If she is saying something that is obviously not true… call her out on it. It will impress her that you picked up on it.
#19. Use “role playing” to keep a conversation fun. This is a technique that I talk about in the Small Talk Tactics report.
#20. Never apologize for your desire as a man. If you’re talking to a woman, and if you’re attracted to her in a sexual way let her know. It will keep you out of the friend zone, and it will make the small talk much more interesting.
So, there you have 20 ways to make small talk more fun, interesting, and playful.