{"id":1153,"date":"2022-08-20T13:21:06","date_gmt":"2022-08-20T13:21:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/?page_id=1153"},"modified":"2022-09-08T15:10:08","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T15:10:08","slug":"spark-sexual-tension","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/spark-sexual-tension\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Ways to Spark &#8220;Sexual Tension&#8221; with a Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/\">Dating<\/a> &gt; <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/attract-women\/\">Attraction<\/a> &gt; Sexual Tension<\/small><br \/>\n<small>by Chris Anderson \u2022 <\/small><small>Updated: August 19, 2022<\/small><\/p>\n<p><small><strong>See Also<\/strong><\/small><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/sexual-tension\">What is &#8220;Sexual Tension&#8221; &#8211; The Secret<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/make-your-move-on-girl\/\">Why You MUST Escalate with Girls<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/make-any-woman-want-you\">3 Words That Make Her Want You<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-1365\" src=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SexualWay_2-1-1024x576.png\" alt=\"sexual tension\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SexualWay_2-1-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SexualWay_2-1-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SexualWay_2-1-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SexualWay_2-1.png 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>Sexual Tension is the Secret to Attraction<\/h2>\n<p>How can you be a more sexual man?<\/p>\n<p>How do you embrace <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Sexual_tension\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sexual tension<\/a> and use it to your advantage instead of getting scared by it?<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what we&#8217;re going to talk about in this article.<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re going to go over five secrets that I&#8217;ve uncovered over the past 10 years that I think are going to really help you out in your game.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Being &#8220;Social&#8221; vs &#8220;Being &#8220;Sexy&#8221;<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>When I first got into dating advice, the industry used to focus on just being social.<\/p>\n<p>The most social guy was the winner. He was the talkative guy, the entertaining guy, everybody dreamed of being that social guy. Almost like a Vince Vaughn in Swingers, that\u2019s who I wanted to be.<\/p>\n<p>But the more I got into dating advice, I realized that just being social wasn\u2019t working. I would <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-make-a-woman-laugh\/\">get girls to laugh<\/a>. I would get the occasional number, but nothing panned out.<\/p>\n<p>I realized that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=SeLLFplzmX4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">being more seductive<\/a> works much better.<\/p>\n<p>Being &#8220;seductive&#8221; is all about bringing out the &#8220;sexual tension&#8221; between men and women, so today we\u2019re sharing five secrets that are going to just take your sexual tension game to the next level.<\/p>\n<h2>Sexual Tension Tip #1: Practice Makes Perfect<\/h2>\n<p>When you first start out, you are not going to be good or comfortable with &#8220;sexual tension.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re probably very used to the way you\u2019ve attempted to attract women for years. Maybe you\u2019re used to being the social guy, like I was.<\/p>\n<p>When you go to a party or a bar, you&#8217;re going to be afraid to change up your style and <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/sexual-tension\">act more seductive<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you&#8217;re afraid your friends are going to laugh at you.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re going to think, &#8220;All right, I&#8217;m going to use my sexy face\u2026 Oh man, I can&#8217;t do this. I feel creepy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t worry: that&#8217;s all part of the learning process. You don&#8217;t get this overnight.<\/p>\n<p>However, without realizing it, you\u2019ve probably already mastered it in certain areas.<\/p>\n<p>When you hear a guy on the phone with a girl, you can just hear it in the voice if he\u2019s on that level or not. If he is, you\u2019ll sense a smooth Barry White-like deep tone, versus a guy who\u2019s still in social mode asking \u201cHow\u2019s it going?\u201d in a high-pitched voice.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Sexual Tension Tip #2: Listen More Than You Speak<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>A lot of guys mistakenly think they need to entertain women to keep them from leaving.<\/p>\n<p>But the truth is: it\u2019s harder to be seductive and create sexual tension when you&#8217;re talking.<\/p>\n<p>Ask yourself\u2026<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s easier: using sexy eye contact when you&#8217;re talking or when you&#8217;re listening?<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s easier: getting closer to a woman when you&#8217;re blabbing or when you&#8217;re listening?<\/p>\n<h3><strong>The Power of Seductive Listening<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>I came up with a special technique called \u201cseductive listening.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>First, listen more than you talk.\u00a0 About 75% listening and 25% talking is a good mix.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s what you do:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Let her talk about herself while you sit back<\/li>\n<li>Look at her<\/li>\n<li>Be a little more seductive<\/li>\n<li>Get a little closer<\/li>\n<li>And use eye contact.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When you\u2019re talking, you\u2019re likely to forget to do that stuff.<\/p>\n<p>And a lot of times when you&#8217;re talking, especially when you&#8217;re overeager to impress, you project facial expressions and body language that turn a woman off.<\/p>\n<p>You act over-animated and try to be funny. You come across as clownish.<\/p>\n<p>You don&#8217;t look sexy.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, stepping back and doing less talking could greatly increase your odds of coming across as smooth, confident, and relaxed.<\/p>\n<p><small><strong>See Also<\/strong><\/small><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/nonverbal-flirting\/\">How to Flirt Without Saying a Word<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-arouse-a-woman\/\">How to Arouse a Woman (step-by-step)<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Sexual Tension #3: Be Ready for Tests<\/h2>\n<p>When you first start trying to build sexual tension, you\u2019re going to be tested.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s no way around it. You&#8217;re going from being the safe social guy to suddenly being that seductive sexual guy. At first, girls are going to call you out on it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>One test you might get:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s say you&#8217;re with a girl you&#8217;re trying to get with and you&#8217;re acting a little more sexy and seductive.<\/p>\n<p>She might say something like, &#8220;What?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>If she says it in a combative way as if to say, \u201c<em>What are you looking at?\u201d<\/em> then that\u2019s not a good sign, it\u2019s a sign that you need to practice this more.<\/p>\n<p>But if she says \u201cWhat?\u201d with a feminine undertone and a sense of self-consciousness from the attention, that\u2019s exactly the response you want.<\/p>\n<p>Anytime a girl gives a feminine response to tension, it\u2019s a great thing.<\/p>\n<p>So when a girl goes, &#8220;What,&#8221; she&#8217;s actually being feminine and playful and she&#8217;s responding well to what you&#8217;re doing.<\/p>\n<h3>Learning to Enjoy Tests<\/h3>\n<p>It\u2019s not a bad thing to get tested.<\/p>\n<p>Sure, it could mean you weren&#8217;t doing it perfectly, but the great thing is that when you get tested, it gives you a chance to recover and create more attraction by the way you handle it.<\/p>\n<p>Just respond in a way that shows confidence.<\/p>\n<p>If a women goes, &#8220;What?&#8221; and you rush to say, &#8220;Oh no, sorry, I didn&#8217;t mean to\u2026 &#8221; then you\u2019ve failed that test by letting her scare you away from creating tension.<\/p>\n<p>But if she says, \u201cWhat?\u201d and you handle it the right way, there&#8217;s nothing wrong with it.<\/p>\n<p>You should start looking forward to tests, because it gives you a chance to pass the test.<\/p>\n<p><small><strong>See Also<\/strong><\/small><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/girl-tests-formula\/\">Formula for Passing Her &#8220;Tests&#8221;<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/why-women-test-men\/\">Why Girls &#8220;Test&#8221; Men\u00a0<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/testing-women\/\">Creating and Passing Her Tests<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Sexual Tension Tip #4: Show the Right Amount of Interest<\/h2>\n<p>When I first got into dating advice, a lot of the old teachings would say,<em> &#8220;Act disinterested, pretend you don&#8217;t like her.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s not actually a good strategy.<\/p>\n<p>When you&#8217;re being seductive and building sexual tension, it definitely shows interest.<\/p>\n<p>The girl knows.<\/p>\n<p>She thinks, <em>\u201cThis guy kind of likes me. He&#8217;s putting out that smooth vibe. He&#8217;s got the bedroom eyes, he&#8217;s moving closer. This guy knows what&#8217;s up.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So it shows interest, but the caveat is to <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/romantic-tension-women\/\">balance that interest with a little bit of challenge<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Women like a little bit of a challenge.<\/p>\n<p>While you\u2019re using eye contact, getting closer, being sexy, and doing all those great things that show interest, you also need to be sending the message, <em>&#8220;I&#8217;m screening you.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<h3><strong>The Seductive Screening Look<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Look at her with a vibe that, about 50 percent of the time, communicates, &#8220;Hmm, I&#8217;m still unsure about you. You haven&#8217;t totally won me over.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This is playful. This isn&#8217;t a game to try to trick a woman.<\/p>\n<p>Visualize Matthew McConaughey talking to a girl.<\/p>\n<p>She knows he wants her, but he&#8217;s laid-back and screening her. He&#8217;s not overeager with her.<\/p>\n<p>He&#8217;s got an attitude that conveys, <em>&#8220;Yeah, I\u2019d like to do something with you\u2026 but convince me it\u2019s worth my time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And leaning back \u2013 like Matthew McConaughey does \u2013 is great because it demonstrates that you\u2019re still unsure, even as you make eye contact and create sexual tension.<\/p>\n<p>Strive to create a 50\/50 blend of interest and challenge.<\/p>\n<h2>Sexual Tension #5: Make Your Move (Before It\u2019s Too Late)<\/h2>\n<p>No matter how good you get at creating sexual tension, DO NOT let the tension and seductive vibe go on too long without making your move.<\/p>\n<p>By making a move, we mean <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/4-ways-to-touch-a-girl\/\">start touching her in an intimate way<\/a>, we mean going for the kiss and attempting to get her into bed.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ll be on calls with private coaching clients who will say things like, &#8220;<em>I&#8217;ve been building the tension for two months now.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ll say, <em>\u201cWhoa, what do you mean you&#8217;ve been building the tension for two months? You\u2019re only supposed to do this for a few minutes and then make your move!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3>Why You Must Make a Move<\/h3>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong>Let\u2019s say you&#8217;re at a bar or a party with your friends. You see a girl at a distant table and start looking at her.<\/p>\n<p>At first, she&#8217;s excited by it. She may look at you and giggle with her girlfriends. It\u2019s an exciting thing to think, &#8220;Somebody&#8217;s looking at me.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>But what happens when you don&#8217;t get up and approach her?<\/p>\n<p>The tension that you created goes from being exciting to being creepy because now she thinks, <em>&#8220;What is this guy looking at? This guy&#8217;s weird. Let&#8217;s pack up our stuff and leave.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>When you build tension, give her a little bit of release. Make that move. Show your interest.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>What happens when you don&#8217;t make a move<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Back in college, there was this girl that told a few of my friends, &#8220;I&#8217;m into Chris.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It was known among all of our friends that she liked me, so when she came to a party at the house I was living in, her friends were giggling and watching as I sat on the couch with her.<\/p>\n<p>It started off perfect.<\/p>\n<p>I was leaning back, building up the tension.<\/p>\n<p>But then 10 minutes later, I was still just building up tension instead of making the next move.<\/p>\n<p>Another ten minutes went by and then she&#8217;s like, &#8220;Uh, yeah, so &#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>You could just feel it getting weirder and weirder as we were sitting there.<\/p>\n<p>I was rusty and coming out of a relationship, and I incorrectly thought, \u201cI don&#8217;t know if I want people to see me make my move, so I\u2019m gonna wait.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>But she doesn&#8217;t know what&#8217;s going through my mind.<\/p>\n<h3>Don&#8217;t let the &#8220;sexual vibe&#8221; slip away<\/h3>\n<p>All she knows is that we just went from <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/create-chemistry-with-woman\/\">strong chemistry<\/a> to total awkwardness.<\/p>\n<p>For the first five minutes, the vibe was, \u201c<em>We\u2019re about to go upstairs and tear each other\u2019s clothes off.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Then for the next ten minutes, the vibe became, <em>\u201cSomething better happen fast or this will get weird.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Then it finally devolved into, \u201cThis is really freaking awkward.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Being a Challenge vs Being a Wussy<\/h3>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/aO_MrmqwZec\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/friendshefallsfor.com\/friendsheloves\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Register for the Free &#8220;Friend She Falls in Love with&#8221; Class<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Sexual Tension Tip #6: Know When To Stop Being Laid-Back<\/h2>\n<p>When you become the sexy, seductive guy, being laid-back is part of what gets women interested.<\/p>\n<p>They think, &#8220;This guy&#8217;s laid-back, I have to chase this guy. He\u2019s cool.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>But when it\u2019s time to make your move, you can&#8217;t be the laid-back guy anymore. You\u2019ve got to be the take-charge guy. You\u2019ve got to be the persistent guy.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not cool to be the persistent guy at the beginning. You\u2019ll come across like you\u2019re trying too hard to get the girls.<\/p>\n<p>So the key is to begin as the laid-back guy, attract her attention with the \u201cI\u2019m still screening you attitude,\u201d then transition into being the persistent guy when it\u2019s time to make the move.<\/p>\n<h3>Video Review of the 6 Sexual Tension Tips<\/h3>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Lxf1Y_pw0Q8\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/coachingwithchris\/\"><strong>Get One-on-One Coaching with Chris Anderson<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dating &gt; Attraction &gt; Sexual Tension by Chris Anderson \u2022 Updated: August 19, 2022 See Also What is &#8220;Sexual Tension&#8221; &#8211; The Secret Why You MUST Escalate with Girls 3 Words That Make Her Want You Sexual Tension is the Secret to Attraction How can you be a more sexual man? How do you embrace [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-posts.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1153","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1153"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1153\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1652,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1153\/revisions\/1652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}