{"id":160,"date":"2022-09-06T20:22:51","date_gmt":"2022-09-06T20:22:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/?page_id=160"},"modified":"2022-09-21T14:43:04","modified_gmt":"2022-09-21T14:43:04","slug":"what-say-when-you-flirt","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-say-when-you-flirt\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Say to Say to a Girl (9 Proven Flirting Techniques)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/\">Dating<\/a>&gt; <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-talk-to-women\/\">Conversation<\/a>&gt;What to Say<\/small><br \/>\n<small>by Bobby Rio \u2022 Updated: September 06, 2022<\/small><\/p>\n<p><strong>See Also<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-say-to-make-her-love-you\/\">Women Chase You When You Say &#8220;THIS&#8221;<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/flirting-formulas\/\">4 &#8220;Flirting Formulas&#8221; That Work<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-to-talk-about-date\/\">14 Things to Say on a Date<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-1706\" src=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/what-to-say-to-a-girl-1024x614.jpg\" alt=\"what to say to a girl\" width=\"1024\" height=\"614\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/what-to-say-to-a-girl-1024x614.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/what-to-say-to-a-girl-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/what-to-say-to-a-girl-768x461.jpg 768w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/what-to-say-to-a-girl.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>&#8220;THIS&#8221; is What to Say to a Girl When You Flirt with Her<\/h2>\n<p>Let\u2019s face it; talking to a beautiful woman does not come easily to too many of us.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, so much of our energy and anxiety is deplored just gathering up the courage to <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/5-best-opening-lines\/\">approach her<\/a>, that by the time the conversation begins we\u2019re burnt out and <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/run-out-things-to-say\/\">can\u2019t think of a damn thing to sa<\/a>y.<\/p>\n<p>Holding a fun and <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/chick-crack\/\">flirtatious conversation<\/a> with a woman does not need to be difficult.<\/p>\n<p>But I can tell you right now, that if you start\u00a0talking to a woman, and quickly find yourself asking her a lot of questions about her job, school, if she has pets, or any other type of questions that even vaguely resemble stuff that would be on a job application- you\u2019re dead in the water.<\/p>\n<p>So I\u2019ve put together a list of nine ways to make sure that you\u2019re having conversations filled with fun and banter- and ultimately escalate you toward your goal of sleeping with her.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>#1:\u00a0 Avoid asking too many questions\u2026\u00a0 instead make statements<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>After breaking the ice with a woman, most guys will immediately start bombarding her with questions.\u00a0 These <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/asking-girls-questions\/\">questions<\/a> usually tend to be boring \u201cget to know you\u201d questions\u2026\u00a0you know, the same sort of questions your aunt will ask you at a family party.<\/p>\n<p>Asking too many questions not only bores her, but it will also prevent her from actually engaging in the conversation.<\/p>\n<p>What usually happens is men will jump from question to question, without ever having the sense to expand upon a <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/best-conversation-topics-dating\/\">conversation topic<\/a> you can tell she loves to talk about.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Try this instead:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Any time you are talking to a woman and you ask her a question\u2026 follow up her answer with a statement rather than simply moving on to the next question.\u00a0 This not only shows that you are listening to her, but also shows that you can connect at a different level.\u00a0 And will usually open up the conversation to move toward more fun or intimate topics.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:<\/strong>\u00a0 So do you have any pets?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Her:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yea, I actually have three of the cutest cats in the world.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mmm\u2026. So you are one of those women with cats, huh?\u00a0 (sly smile)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Her:<\/strong>\u00a0 Stop it.. haha\u2026 no I\u2019m not one of those crazy cat women\u2026 I just love my cats.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:<\/strong>\u00a0 They say people who like cats tend to me more independent than dog lovers\u2026.<\/p>\n<p>As you can see, just by following up the question with a statement, you are able to expand on the topic and bring a little fun and banter to the conversation.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>#2:\u00a0 Qualify Her, Instead of Qualifying Yourself<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Once a man senses any sort of <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/create-rapport-with-woman\/\">rapport with a woman<\/a>, he immediately becomes scared shitless of breaking that rapport or saying anything that will damage his chances of moving forward.\u00a0 So he stays on \u201csafe\u201d topics. Unfortunately, this tends to work counter-productive\u2026 and usually winds up boring a woman that was previously interested.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Try this instead:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Once you sense that you\u2019ve <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/spark-vibe-with-girl\/\">sparked a woman\u2019s interest<\/a> a little bit begin qualifying her with questions or statements that place you in the role of \u201cthe selector.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This means you will make a statement that may disqualify her as potential lover\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s use the cat example from above to demonstrate:<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0So do you have any pets?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Her:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yea, I have three of the cutest cats in the world.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:<\/strong>\u00a0 mmmm\u2026 We would never get along.\u00a0 I\u2019m a dog person, and what I\u2019ve heard is that dog and cat owners tend to have a really intense sexual connection\u2026 but disagree on every other possible point.<\/p>\n<p>As you can see, you took a \u201csafe\u201d topic like pets and we&#8217;re able to bring an element of sexuality to the conversation.\u00a0 Not only that, but by making the statement \u201cwe would never get along\u201d you\u2019re now placing the burden of approval seeking on her.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>#3:\u00a0 Use Cold Reads<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>As men, we love to talk about facts, events, and amusing surface level stories.\u00a0 While all of these should make up a great deal of your conversations\u2026 they tend to limit you from certain areas that really seem to ignite passion in a woman.<\/p>\n<p>Women get their \u201cfix\u201d from talking about the mystical, or the deeper level.\u00a0 Women love to delve into the emotional meaning behind the facts, events, or surface level stories.<\/p>\n<p>If you never hint to a woman that you are capable of communicating on this different wave length\u2026\u00a0you\u2019re missing out on a great opportunity to separate yourself from other men.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Try this instead:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Next time you\u2019re talking to woman, <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/cold-reading-girls\">try using a cold reading<\/a> that will allow you to go beneath the surface level, and get her to open up to some of her feelings.<\/p>\n<p>A cold read is simply stating something you\u2019ve noticed about her, and then making a deeper observation about it.<\/p>\n<p>Here is an example that you could use fairly soon into a conversation when she says something about a previous date or guy she knew.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can tell just by the way that you are talking there that you are the kind of girl who goes on a lot of dates but has trouble finding someone you\u2019re actually interested in. Then when you find that person, you usually lose interest very quickly.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Her:\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0Yea\u2026\u00a0that\u2019s so true.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0I bet you really love adventure\u2026 sometimes it scares you, but deep down you crave something exciting.\u00a0 And what is probably happening is every time you\u2019re meeting these guys\u2026 you sense within that they are not going to satisfy that adventure you crave.<\/p>\n<p>This particular example allowed you do delve into the mystical and emotional\u2026\u00a0and also allowed you to disqualify the other guys, and at the same time, present yourself as something new, exciting, and different, who just might be the cure for her ailment.<\/p>\n<p><strong><small>See Also<\/small><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/7-flirting-mistakes\/\">Avoid these &#8220;Nice Guy&#8221; Flirting Mistakes<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/flirting-tips\/\">3 Flirting Tips That Make Her Attracted<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/chick-crack\/\">&#8220;THIS&#8221; Creates the Right Vibe with Her<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>#4:\u00a0 Talk about things that you are passionate about<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Since most men stick to \u201cinterview mode\u201d topics like work and school\u2026 they seldom have a chance to demonstrate their passionate and excited side to a woman.\u00a0 Instead they talk about topics that bore them\u2026 and in turn, bore the woman.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Try this instead:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When you ask a woman what she looks for in a man, pretty much all women will use the word passionate. While most of the time, I take what women say they want with a grain of salt\u2026 in this case, I found this to be completely true.<\/p>\n<p>The fact is, as Mystery has said in the past, \u201centhusiasm breeds enthusiasm.\u201d\u00a0 When you talk to a woman, stress the things you are passionate and enthusiastic about.<\/p>\n<p>Having passion towards something can take a relatively mundane subject like cooking\u2026 and elevate it to an engrossing conversation.<\/p>\n<p>If you love to travel, let her get a sense of what exactly excites you about seeing the world.\u00a0 If you\u2019re into building your business\u2026 let her see the leader in you, let your entrepreneurial spirit shine bright\u2026 if you love music, or art, or movies, don\u2019t hide it.<\/p>\n<p>This doesn\u2019t mean brag about your knowledge of these subjects\u2026 it means explain what about them really drives you.<\/p>\n<p>Women like men with drive, men who know what they want and go after it\u2026 let women see that side of you.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>#5:\u00a0 Tease Her to Build Attraction<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>When most men approach a beautiful woman, they put her on a pedestal\u2026 and because of this they tend to treat her like she is royalty.\u00a0 Most men become deathly afraid of offending her.\u00a0 They become so worried about looking cool or coming up with the perfect thing to say, that the conversation quickly fizzles out.<\/p>\n<p>As I previously discussed in\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-make-a-woman-laugh\/\">how to make women laugh<\/a>,\u00a0women want a guy that is fun to be around.\u00a0 The truth is we are all still children at heart.\u00a0 Although most of us love a good intellectual conversation from time to time\u2026 when we are out at a bar or on a date, we just want to relax, laugh a little bit, and have a good time\u2026 forgetting about the worries and stress in our life.<\/p>\n<p>And the best way to do that is to keep the conversation playful and fun.\u00a0 And you can do this by <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/sexual-teasing\/\">teasing a girl<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Most men are under the false impression that beautiful women don\u2019t want to talk to them.\u00a0 This is not the case.<\/p>\n<p>Beautiful women crave fun and <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-flirt-with-girls\/\">flirtatious conversations<\/a> just as much as we do. The fact is, there are so few men who know how to peak a woman\u2019s interest through talking to her, that she is actually dying to meet a man who can.<\/p>\n<p>The main reason most men don\u2019t communicate well with women is because they let their nervousness and anxiety prevent them from showing a woman their fun side.\u00a0 The second biggest reason a man doesn\u2019t connect with a woman is because he doesn\u2019t talk to her in a way that she responds to.<\/p>\n<h2>The &#8220;Golden Triangle&#8221; of Conversation with Girls<\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/W1ZP185Ha-s\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/charismatic\"><strong>Download Charismatic Conversation Secrets<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>#6:\u00a0 Concentrate on the emotions rather than facts<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Women are different than men.\u00a0 As we talked about in part one and part two of this series, women love to talk about the meaning behind actions and the emotions they evoke.<\/p>\n<p>It is also true that the emotions that you arise during a conversation she will subconsciously anchor them to you.\u00a0 This means that if you are talking about relationships and she starts talking about all of the bad feelings she experienced with her previous boyfriend, she will begin to associate you with those feelings.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Try this instead:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If it is true that women will anchor negative feelings to you, then it must be true that women will anchor positive feelings to you.<\/p>\n<p>This is why it is important to <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-speak-a-womans-language\/\">draw her into a positive emotional state<\/a>.\u00a0 One way to do this, as discussed in the last article, is to tease her.\u00a0 Another way to do this is to ask questions and make statements that prompt her to talk about specific feelings that she has for something.<\/p>\n<p>If you are talking to a woman and she mentions the fact that she likes to go snowboarding, instead of talking about facts such as what mountain does she usually snowboard at, or what kind equipment does she use (which is common questions you would ask another man) instead get her to talk about the feelings she experiences while snowboarding.<\/p>\n<p><em>For example:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>You:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you do anything fun last weekend?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Her:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yea I went snowboarding.\u00a0 I had the best time.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 I love snowboarding.\u00a0 I think I\u2019m literally addicted to the rush I get going down the mountain.\u00a0 What about you?\u00a0 What excites you most about snowboarding?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Her:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well I guess it would be that feeling of adventure\u2026 like going so fast, being so scared, but not wanting it to end because it feels like you\u2019re really living.<\/p>\n<p>In this example you\u2019ve taken the topic of snowboard and talked about the meaning behind snowboarding and emotions it evokes.\u00a0 Since these are emotions are positive, you\u2019ve put the woman in a positive mood, and she has subconsciously anchored the feeling of adventure, excitement, and not wanting it to end\u2026 to you.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>#8:\u00a0 Tell more stories (that put you in a positive light)<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>When a bunch of guys are sitting around with each other it becomes almost a competition as to who can tell the best story.\u00a0 We try to tell stories that make us appear the funniest, coolest, or most dominant guy in the group.\u00a0 Yet for some reason when we get around a woman we totally forget to make use of this skill.<\/p>\n<p>A woman wants to figure things out about you on her own.\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t necessarily trust everything that you\u2019re saying, so she is trying to look for little clues that will help her determine where you fit in the pecking order.<\/p>\n<p>Stories are a natural way to capture someone\u2019s attention.\u00a0 And <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/telling-stories-on-date\/\">when you tell a story right<\/a>, they are also a great way to drop subtle clues as to the finer points of your persona.<\/p>\n<p>As you tell a story you need to remember that a woman is listening to your story, but at the same time she is reading behind the lines to make certain judgments about you.<\/p>\n<p>For instance, let\u2019s say you tell a story how Tuesday afternoon you were lying in bed with a hangover and someone kept knocking on your door\u2026 until finally you answered it and it was these annoying religious freaks trying to convert you to some weird new religion.<\/p>\n<p>Well, while you may have intended the story to be funny farce about the annoying religious people, she has already begun to pigeonhole you as the kind of guy who gets drunk on Monday nights, doesn\u2019t have a job he has to wake up for, and has no ambition to get out of bed until the afternoon.\u00a0 Unless you both are in college, these are not necessarily traits that will excite her.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Try this instead:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t want to come off a bragging during your stories.\u00a0 This is why any positive details about your life you want to emphasize must be hidden within a larger story.\u00a0 This means, while the story itself does not have to be positive, she must be able to uncover positive traits about you from within the story.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s use the same story above about the religious folks knocking on the door and see how we could tell it in a way that sheds some positive light on you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You:\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0So Tuesday afternoon I\u2019m sleeping late.\u00a0 This was like the first good comfortable sleep I\u2019ve had in a couple weeks as I\u2019ve been busting my ass trying to elevate my business to the next level.\u00a0 Monday night we scored a kick ass contract and me and my team finally decided it was time to celebrate.<\/p>\n<p>So now Tuesday morning I\u2019m lying in bed, with the kind of hangover I haven\u2019t had in years\u2026 and I keep hearing a knock on the door.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t want to get out of bed.\u00a0 Later than night I had a few more important meetings, I really wanted to sleep off the hangover so I would be in top shape to deliver the proposal.\u00a0 Well, the knocking stops for like ten minutes\u2026 but then starts up again.\u00a0 And now they\u2019re ringing my bell too.<\/p>\n<p>Finally\u00a0 I throw on some clothes and head downstairs and answer the door\u2026and its these two little girls.\u00a0 At first I\u2019m thinking they want to sell me girl scout cookies, but then she hands me this flyer that says \u201clet Jesus save you from your treacherous life\u201d\u00a0 and I\u2019m thinking \u201cam I on some sort of list or something\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In this version of the story I included enough details to let her jump to the conclusion that I am an ambitious and successful businessman.\u00a0 But I never came out and said it.\u00a0 I gave her this information in the context of a story about a couple of religious nuts trying to convert me.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>#9:\u00a0 Remember the non verbal\u2019s<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/jon-sinn\/\">Jon Sinn<\/a> has an article where he talks about <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/nonverbal-flirting\/\">nonverbal flirting<\/a>.\u00a0 In this article I discussed the subtle things you need to be doing to project that you are a fun, confident man that she should feel excited to be talking to.<\/p>\n<p>Most men don\u2019t do this.\u00a0 Instead, most men let their nervousness control their entire body and they wind up coming off fidgety, tense, and even slightly awkward.<\/p>\n<p>This happens because while men are talking to a woman they get stuck in their own head.\u00a0 They begin concentrating extremely hard on how they can impress the woman, and they wind up <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/neediness\/\">looking needy<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Try this instead:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A tip that I heard from a great pickup artist once that has helped me over the years is to imagine that the woman has already told you that later she is going to get naked and sprawl out over you bed and let you have your way with her.<\/p>\n<p>If you knew this, how would you act?<\/p>\n<p>You would probably be quite laid back, with a knowing sly smile on your face, and you would have no problem getting fun and flirtatious because there wasn\u2019t a risk of rejection.<\/p>\n<p>Well, can you imagine how acting this way can actually get you the result of having a woman sprawled out naked in your bed?<\/p>\n<p>Give it a shot next time you\u2019re out.<\/p>\n<p><strong><small>See Also<\/small><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/create-chemistry-with-woman\/\">The #1 Secret to Chemistry with Girls<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/words-that-turn-women-on\/\">5 &#8220;Words&#8221; That Turn Every Woman On<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/13-flirty-lines\/\">13 &#8220;Flirty Lines&#8221; To Move Things Forward<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/attract-women\/\">How to Attract Women (Do THIS)<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-arouse-a-woman\/\">Step-by-Step Guide to Arousing a Woman<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dating&gt; Conversation&gt;What to Say by Bobby Rio \u2022 Updated: September 06, 2022 See Also Women Chase You When You Say &#8220;THIS&#8221; 4 &#8220;Flirting Formulas&#8221; That Work 14 Things to Say on a Date &#8220;THIS&#8221; is What to Say to a Girl When You Flirt with Her Let\u2019s face it; talking to a beautiful woman does [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-posts.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-160","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/160","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=160"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/160\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1874,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/160\/revisions\/1874"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=160"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}