{"id":610,"date":"2022-09-07T20:42:19","date_gmt":"2022-09-07T20:42:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/?page_id=610"},"modified":"2022-09-09T18:40:08","modified_gmt":"2022-09-09T18:40:08","slug":"be-more-interesting-on-dates","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/be-more-interesting-on-dates\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be More Interesting on a Date"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/\">Dating<\/a> &gt;<a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/first-date-tips\/\">First Dates<\/a>&gt; Be Interesting<\/small><br \/>\n<small>by Bobby Rio \u2022 <\/small><small>Updated: September 08, 2022<\/small><\/p>\n<p><strong><small>See Also:<\/small><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-say-to-make-her-love-you\/\">99.9% of Women Chase You When You Say \u201cTHIS\u201d<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-to-talk-about-date\/\">14 Things to Say on a Date<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/first-date-rules\/\">Follow &#8220;THESE&#8221; 10 First Date Rules<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-1685\" src=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/be-more-interesting-on-a-date-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"how to be more interesting on a date\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/be-more-interesting-on-a-date-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/be-more-interesting-on-a-date-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/be-more-interesting-on-a-date-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/be-more-interesting-on-a-date.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>Make Women Find You Interesting<\/h2>\n<p>I struggled through many dates as the \u201cstiff,\u201d \u201cawkward,\u201d and \u201cboring\u201d guy.<\/p>\n<p>I won\u2019t even get into how scared I was to even begin to get remotely physical with a woman.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it took me a long time to figure out how to channel that <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/confidence-secrets\/\">relaxed, confident vibe<\/a> I had with my friends, and be the same way on dates with women.<\/p>\n<p>For a very long time I thought it was caused by lack of confidence or self esteem.<\/p>\n<p>So I read all the \u201cinner game\u201d books, listened to \u201cself hypnosis\u201d CDs, and said my affirmations before every date.<\/p>\n<p>None of that worked.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t until I owned up to the fact that I just didn\u2019t know\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-to-talk-about-with-girls\/\">how to have a fun \u201cdate\u201d conversation<\/a>\u00a0that I began to see improvement.<\/p>\n<p>Nobody teaches us these things, so it\u2019s really not our fault.<\/p>\n<p>And the worst part is, the girl is looking for YOU to lead her.<\/p>\n<p>So if you set a boring, stiff, and \u201cformal\u201d vibe, <strong>she is going to follow right along with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is why it is important for you to know exactly how to lead the conversation in a fun, playful manner, right from the start.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>The 3 Biggest Obstacles You Face on a Date<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>What makes \u201cdate conversation\u201d so much tougher than normal \u201cbar conversation?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There are three big obstacles that you face coming into a date that you need to address immediately.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>The loss of (previous) <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/create-rapport-with-woman\/\">rapport<\/a><\/li>\n<li>The high pressure atmosphere<\/li>\n<li>The trap of \u201cinterview mode\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Let\u2019s talk about each of these individually.<\/p>\n<h3>#1: Losing Previous &#8220;Rapport&#8221; on a Date<\/h3>\n<p>The first thing that you experience when meet a girl for a date is loss of rapport. This happens because you have changed environments and are not adjusted to the new dynamics of the interaction.<\/p>\n<p>This is especially true when you\u2019ve met the girl at a bar.<\/p>\n<p>But it is equally true if you\u2019ve met her online, at work, school, or through friends.<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re placed in this \u201cintimate\u201d setting of a date it suddenly becomes painfully aware how little the two of you know each other.<\/p>\n<h3>#2: Dealing with the &#8220;high pressure&#8221; atmosphere<\/h3>\n<p>The second obstacle that you face is the high pressure environment.<\/p>\n<p>You and the girl are both so focused on \u201cnot screwing up\u201d that neither of you are willing to take any chances or reveal anything that might \u201cruin it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The irony is, the more \u201csafe\u201d you play it on a date, the more boring and lifeless the date will turn out.<\/p>\n<h3>#3: Getting Sucked into &#8220;Interview Mode&#8221;<\/h3>\n<p>And what usually happens as a result of the first two obstacles is that you get sucked into \u201cinterview mode\u201d and find it nearly impossible to break it.<\/p>\n<p>In the absence of rapport, and in the face of the high pressure, the natural thing for the both of you to do is <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/best-first-date-questions\/\">begin asking each other questions<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>And this just creates an endless loop of boredom, high pressure, and lack of rapport.<\/p>\n<h2>5 Ways to Spark &#8220;the Vibe&#8221; on a Date<\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/z9HDPzah4RI\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/highstatushabits.com\/charismatic\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Download Charismatic Conversation Secrets<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>How to Keep a Date Fun and Interesting<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Remember, the first obstacle you face coming into a date is that you have lost any previous rapport you created with the woman because of the change environment.<\/p>\n<p>So, you need to immediately assume rapport.<\/p>\n<p>This means right from the start of the date, you need to present the attitude that you are meeting an old friend.<\/p>\n<p>How would you start an interaction with an &#8220;old friend&#8221;?<\/p>\n<p>You would just jump right into to talking to them.<\/p>\n<p>You wouldn\u2019t feel any sort of \u201cbarrier\u201d preventing you from just talking naturally to them.<\/p>\n<h3>Way to Create &#8220;Instant Rapport&#8221; on a Date<\/h3>\n<p>One of the best ways is to\u00a0create some superficial rapport over pop culture.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of times when we meet a friend we begin by telling them about a movie we just saw, some celebrity or sports gossip we heard on the radio on the way over, or even ask them a question like \u201cwho sings that song?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Or we mess around with our friends.<\/p>\n<p>How much do you think it would ease the \u201cpressure\u201d of the interaction if you just \u201cmessed around\u201d with her right from the start?<\/p>\n<p>You can easily accomplish this by finding something to <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/sexual-teasing\/\">tease her<\/a> about.<\/p>\n<p>We tease those we have rapport with.<\/p>\n<p>Starting off an interaction with this \u201cassumed\u201d rapport also breaks a lot of the tension of the date.<\/p>\n<p>Remember, you are both experiencing high pressure and the quicker you can diffuse that pressure, the easier it will be to connect with the girl.<\/p>\n<h3>Display &#8220;Cool Vulnerability&#8221; to Diffuse Tension<\/h3>\n<p>Another way to diffuse the high pressure is to display some \u201ccool vulnerability.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This is something else I talk about in several other articles. \u00a0By telling a slightly embarrassing story and \u201cunmasking\u201d yourself, you will give her permission to do the same.<\/p>\n<p>The less the two of you are trying to \u201cimpress\u201d each other, the more fun the both of you will have.<\/p>\n<p>Set the \u201cplayfully relaxed\u201d example, and she will most likely follow.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, your mindset going in should be \u201chow much fun can we have together?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And avoid \u201cinterview mode.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>How to Avoid &#8220;Interview Mode&#8221; on a Date<\/h2>\n<p>The best way to do this is to focus on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/telling-stories-on-date\/\">telling stories<\/a> and making statements\u00a0rather than asking questions.<\/p>\n<p>In a recent article I recommended having a \u201ccommode story\u201d ready to tell.<\/p>\n<p>This simply means have a couple interesting anecdotes to tell. These stories should preferably display different aspects of your personality, and should encourage her to tell similar types of stories.<\/p>\n<p>In addition to telling stories, make statements that reveal &#8220;nuggets&#8221; of your personality and challenge her to reveal aspects of her personality.<\/p>\n<p>A statement like \u201c<em>You totally seem like the kind of girl who goes like rock climbing and mountain biking on Sunday afternoons?\u201d<\/em> is so much better than saying \u201cSo what do you do for fun?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Statements work better than questions because it keeps you in the role of leader.<\/p>\n<p>And it makes the conversation more interesting because she gets to see how you view her. (and we are all obsessed with knowing what other people think of us)<\/p>\n<p><strong><small>See Also:<\/small><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/telling-stories-on-date\/\">3 Steps to Telling a Good &#8220;Date Story&#8221;<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/chick-crack\/\">How to Spark a Fun and Flirty Vibe<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/best-conversation-topics-dating\/\">Best Conversation Topics for a Date<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/create-chemistry-with-woman\/\">#1 Secret of Chemistry with Girls<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-flirt-with-girls\/\">How to Flirt with Girls (Guide)<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>Putting it All Together on the Date<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Ok&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>So going into the date, the main question you should be asking yourself is:<em> \u201chow can I make this night as fun as possible?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And you should completely drop any notion of trying to impress her.<\/p>\n<p>As soon as you meet her for the date, jump right into rapport.<\/p>\n<p>You can start off by telling her an amusing story or simply busting her balls a bit.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/banter-lines-to-use-on-girls\/\">Establish a flirtatious \u201cbanter\u201d<\/a> as early into the conversation as possible.<\/p>\n<h3>Using a &#8220;Role&#8221; to Banter<\/h3>\n<p>An easy way to do this is use the role of a character.\u00a0 You can play the \u201cshe is trying to get into my pants guy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In this character you misinterpret everything she is doing as an attempt to get in your pants. I go deep into this in the Small Talk Tactics report.<\/p>\n<p>Once you\u2019ve \u201cbantered\u201d for a bit, you can settle into a conversation.<\/p>\n<p>Remember, find out things about her by making statements, <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/cold-reading-girls\">cold reads,<\/a> and prompting stories.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Avoid asking questions like:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cWhere did you go to college\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWhat do you do for fun?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Do you have siblings&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And for god sake\u2019s make sure you <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/4-ways-to-touch-a-girl\/\">initiate some physical touching<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Even if it is as simple as giving her a high five or touching her elbow when she tells a joke,\u00a0 just get her used to you touching her.<\/p>\n<p>It creates the illusion of rapport.<\/p>\n<p><strong>See Also:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/jonsinncoaching.com\/dateformula\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Jon&#8217;s First Date Formula for Sex<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dating &gt;First Dates&gt; Be Interesting by Bobby Rio \u2022 Updated: September 08, 2022 See Also: 99.9% of Women Chase You When You Say \u201cTHIS\u201d 14 Things to Say on a Date Follow &#8220;THESE&#8221; 10 First Date Rules Make Women Find You Interesting I struggled through many dates as the \u201cstiff,\u201d \u201cawkward,\u201d and \u201cboring\u201d guy. I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-posts.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-610","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=610"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/610\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1687,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/610\/revisions\/1687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}