{"id":633,"date":"2022-09-08T15:22:45","date_gmt":"2022-09-08T15:22:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/?page_id=633"},"modified":"2022-09-08T15:22:45","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T15:22:45","slug":"first-date-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/first-date-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Biggest First Date Mistakes to Avoid"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/\">Dating<\/a> &gt;<a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/first-date-tips\/\">First Dates<\/a>&gt; First Date Mistakes<\/small><br \/>\n<small>by Bobby Rio \u2022 <\/small><small>Updated: August 29, 2022<\/small><\/p>\n<p><strong><small>See Also:<\/small><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-say-to-make-her-love-you\/\">99.9% of Women Chase You When You Say \u201cTHIS\u201d<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-to-talk-about-date\/\">14 Things to Say on a Date<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/flirting-formulas\/\">4 \u201cFlirting Formulas\u201d<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-1641\" src=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/maxresdefault-35-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"first date mistakes\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/maxresdefault-35-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/maxresdefault-35-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/maxresdefault-35-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/maxresdefault-35.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>Avoid &#8220;THESE&#8221; 7 First Date Mistakes with Her<\/h2>\n<p>I get a lot of questions from guys wondering what went wrong on their <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/first-date-tips\/\">first date<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Usually, leading up to the first date, these guys are pumped and excited for the day to come. I get to hear about how everything went right when they <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/5-best-opening-lines\/\">approached her in the bar<\/a>. I get to hear how smoothly they asked for her number. And I get the juicy details of the first phone call.<\/p>\n<p>But then an odd thing happens.<\/p>\n<p>These same guys rarely follow up with an exciting story of how they pulled the woman into the bathroom for a quickie on the first date, or even a story of a good date ending with a simple kiss.<\/p>\n<p>It seems a good deal of the first dates I hear about are more often train wrecks that I twinge just hearing about.<\/p>\n<p>After hearing hundreds of first date horror stories, I\u2019ve come to realize that there are 7 big mistakes that most men make on their first date.<\/p>\n<h2>First Date Mistake #1: Too Much Talking BEFORE the Date<\/h2>\n<p>Have you ever found yourself on a two hour <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/calling-a-girl\/\">phone conversation<\/a> with a girl you\u2019ve still haven\u2019t met up with? At the time you were probably thinking how much of a connection the two of you had, imaging how great the actual date would be when you had a chance to connect in person.<\/p>\n<p>It usually didn\u2019t wind up that way, right?<\/p>\n<p>What often happens is a guy winds up telling a woman his entire life story before he actually meets her.<\/p>\n<p>This ruins the first date on several levels.<\/p>\n<p>First, he\u2019s already had his first date conversation over the phone, so now he\u2019s often stuck for <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/what-to-talk-about-with-girls\/\">things to talk about<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Second, he\u2019s given away most the mystery about himself, leaving himself very little to \u201creveal\u201d to the girl over the course of the date.<\/p>\n<p>And third, since most guys don\u2019t have great phone skills, he\u2019ll actually lose her interest before he ever even shows up for the date.<\/p>\n<p>From now on, keep your pre-date phone conversations to the bare minimum. Or brush on your phone game:<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Mistake #2: Calling it a \u201cDate\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>For some reasons most guys are still stuck on the notion that their first date with a woman needs to be an elaborate night out to a fancy dinner.<\/p>\n<p>The man winds up telling the woman \u201cI want to take you out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And from that very moment, has set high expectations for the date. And he has also placed himself in the role of &#8220;the pursuer.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>What is so defeating about this idea of asking her on a \u201cdate\u201d is that is puts a large amount of pressure on the both of you.<\/p>\n<p>It also puts her in a position where from the moment you pick her up, she is judging you, and already deciding whether or not she wants to \u201cdate\u201d you.<\/p>\n<p>From now on, keep the first date very casual. Instead of looking at it as date, simply view it as her joining you for some fun.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Mistake #3: Choosing the wrong kind of location for a first date<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>As mentioned previously, most men still wind up taking a woman to dinner on a first date. Next to the movies, dinner is probably the worst environment for a first date.<\/p>\n<p>Dinner is way too formal.<\/p>\n<p>It places you on opposite ends of a table, and quite frankly, too closely resembles an interview process.<\/p>\n<p>An ideal first date location should be something much more relaxed, an environment that lends itself to fun and flirtation. And no, I don\u2019t mean a coffee shop. Coffee dates are just as bad as dinner dates.<\/p>\n<p>Instead invite her to the mall to help you pick out a pair of shoes, or ask her to meet you for Happy Hour, or challenge her to game of billiards, or mini-golf, or take her to a museum.<\/p>\n<p><strong><small>See Also<\/small><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/best-first-date-ideas\/\">14 Fun Alternative to the Dinner Date<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/free-date-ideas\/\">10 Free Date Ideas<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/first-date-rules\/\">The 10 Commandments of the First Date<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>Mistake #4:\u00a0 Treating a first date like a job interview<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Have you ever had a really important job interview?\u00a0 You probably dressed really nice. You rehearsed your answered a hundred times. You went in to the room completely formal with your \u201chire me\u201d mask on.<\/p>\n<p>A date is not a job interview. So don\u2019t treat it that way.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t look at a date like you\u2019re going into the corner office where the all-powerful woman is going to be judging your worthiness.<\/p>\n<p>When you do this, you wind up getting way too uptight and nervous. This will prevent you from relaxing and allowing your \u201ctrue self\u201d to shine through.<\/p>\n<p>Nothing about a first date needs to be perfect. Everything about a first date needs to fun and relaxed.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Mistake #5\u00a0 Interrogating a woman with questions<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Since most men treat dates like job interviews, they wind up using it as an opportunity to find out every little piece of irrelevant details about a woman.<\/p>\n<p>A man will spend the entire date learning:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What does she do for a living?<\/li>\n<li>How many siblings does she have?<\/li>\n<li>Where did she go to school?<\/li>\n<li>Where did she grow up?<\/li>\n<li>What does she do in her spare time?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Facts reveal very little about a woman.? And they give even less information that a man can connect to.<\/p>\n<p>If you wind up simply going back and forth with a woman learning irrelevant facts about each other, when the date ends, neither one of you will feel a strong desire to see the other person again.? This is because you\u2019ve invested nothing emotionally in the date.<\/p>\n<p>Instead of discussing personal facts, stay in the moment with banter, or tell fun stories, or any of the other conversation tips I laid out in these posts:<\/p>\n<p><strong><small>See Also:<\/small><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/best-conversation-topics-dating\/\">Best Conversation Topics for a Date<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/be-more-interesting-on-dates\/\">How to be More Fun and Interesting<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/best-first-date-questions\/\">19 Best First Date Questions to Ask<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>Mistake #6: Not getting physical<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Earlier I joked about pulling a woman into the bathroom for a quickie on the first date. This is a grossly exaggerated version of \u201cgetting physical.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But the fact is, most men are so scared of offending a woman that they will not even <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/nonverbal-flirting\/\">initiate any physical contact<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Physical contact can be anything such as lightly touching her elbow when you talk, putting your hand on her lower back as you guide her through a crowd, or even something as juvenile as thumb wrestling with her.<\/p>\n<p>Remember, the main distinction between a woman you\u2019re friends with, and woman you\u2019re sleeping with, is the amount physical contact that takes place between the two of you.<\/p>\n<p>This means that the sooner you initiate any sort of \u201ctouching\u201d you begin to <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/make-a-move-on-female-friend\/\">move yourself out of the friend zone<\/a> and into the position of a sexual man.<\/p>\n<p>From now on, make it a habit to begin lightly and innocently touching a woman the moment the date begins.<\/p>\n<p>This is one of the reasons that active dates like bowling, billiards, or mini-golf work so well, they allow touching to occur naturally.<\/p>\n<p><strong><small>See Also:<\/small><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/4-ways-to-touch-a-girl\/\">4 Ways to Start &#8220;Touching&#8221; a Woman<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-arouse-a-woman\/\">Female Arousal and Escalation Guide<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<li><small><a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/sexual-frames\/\">The &#8220;Sexual Framing&#8221; Technique<\/a><\/small><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>Mistake #7: Not Flirting with the Girl<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The biggest problem that most men face with women is that they don\u2019t understand <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/how-to-flirt-with-girls\/\">the nature of flirting.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Since most men are in \u201cinterview mode\u201d on a first date, they seldom allow themselves to relax and begin some friendly <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/banter-lines-to-use-on-girls\/\">banter with a woman<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Flirting breeds <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/sexual-tension\/\">sexual tension<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Without flirting, it is possible to get a woman to respect you, like you, and imagine you as a great boyfriend. But it is impossible to <a href=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/spark-sexual-tension\/\">build sexual tension<\/a> without flirting.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re unsure of how to flirt on a first date, then you must brush up on it.<\/p>\n<p>If you simply make sure to avoid these 7 mistakes you\u2019ll definitely see a significant increase in the number of second dates that you go on.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Want an Easy to Follow<br \/>\n\u201c<span class=\"color-red\">First Date<\/span>\u00a0Formula\u201d?<\/h2>\n<p>Coach Jon Sinn has mapped out his entire\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/jonsinncoaching.com\/dateformula\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>\u201cFirst Date Formula\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0<\/a>that guarantees a date she\u2019ll remember (and more importantly, makes her want to see you again).<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-617\" src=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/s2strip-prod3.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"536\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/s2strip-prod3.png 536w, https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/s2strip-prod3-300x201.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 536px) 100vw, 536px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/jonsinncoaching.com\/dateformula\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Download Now<\/strong><\/a><\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dating &gt;First Dates&gt; First Date Mistakes by Bobby Rio \u2022 Updated: August 29, 2022 See Also: 99.9% of Women Chase You When You Say \u201cTHIS\u201d 14 Things to Say on a Date 4 \u201cFlirting Formulas\u201d Avoid &#8220;THESE&#8221; 7 First Date Mistakes with Her I get a lot of questions from guys wondering what went wrong [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-posts.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-633","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/633","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=633"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/633\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1653,"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/633\/revisions\/1653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbyriotraining.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=633"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}