Dating > Signs > Attraction”tests”
by Bobby Rio • Updated: August 10, 2022
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5 “Tests” to Find Out Where You Stand with a Girl
When you’re talking to a woman and the conversation seems to be going well…
- How do you know if she’s really into you?
- How do you know she’s not just ‘being friendly?’
- How do you know if you should move things forward?
In this article, I want to give you five attraction tests that tell if a girl likes you. This will give you a much clearer picture of where you stand with the woman.
Bad Advice About Reading a Woman’s Signals
A lot of the advice out there says that she’s flirting if she makes eye contact or plays with her hair.
Those tips are worthless because a lot of women are different. A woman who’s naturally flirtatious will send those signals but will probably act that way with every other guy she’s talking to that night.
On the other hand, a girl who’s quiet or shy or introverted, even if she’s enjoying things with you, she may have her guard up and she may not be sending those signals because it’s not her personality.
That’s why it’s important and that’s why when I’m working with somebody, I say, “You’ve got to be able to do things that you can test.”
When To use an “Attraction Test”
Don’t walk up to a woman out of the blue and attempt these tests. These tests are meant to be used in the context of a ten- or fifteen-minute conversation.
You can also use them on a date to see if things are going well. They are a great way to find out if you should go for the kiss, invite her back to your place, or even attempt to get a second date.
So, what are the attraction tests?
Attraction Test #1: Move Her
Move a woman somewhere else with you and see if she follows.
This is especially true when you’re meeting at a party or a bar.
As you’re talking to her, simply say:
- “Hey, let’s go take a seat,”
- “Let’s go outside and get some air,”
- “I’m going to go grab a drink. I want some company.”
If you’re at a party, you can say, “I want to go find my friend. Come take a walk with me.”
If she’s willing to follow you to another location within that party or bar, there’s a very good chance she’s into you.
If she says, “No. I’m going to stay here,” then she’s probably not interested.
Maybe you’re on a date with a girl at a bar or restaurant. The date is nearing its end and you can’t tell whether it’s going well or not.
To test it, you can say, “I’m craving a Jamba Juice. Why don’t we take a walk next door and get one.”
Or as the dinner date is winding down, you could say “Let’s go grab an ice cream”
If she’s enjoying the date, she’ll go because she’ll want to continue spending time with you.
If she’s waiting for the date to end, she’ll use your idea of changing locations as an excuse to end the date. She’ll say, “No, I’ve really got to get going, but you can text me.”
You’ll never hear from her again.
Attraction Test #2: Qualify Her
A woman qualifies herself when she makes an effort to sell herself and convince you to see her in a positive light.
If you’re talking with a woman and want to know if it’s going well, say something like:
- “Tell me what’s the coolest thing about you,”
- “What is the coolest thing about you that nobody knows?”
- “Tell me, what’s different about you?”
A comment like that is challenging her to qualify herself.
She can handle it one of two ways. If she’s into you, she’s going to try to come up with a good answer. She’s going to try to sell herself.
If she’s not into you, she’s probably going to give you a lazy answer. Maybe even a one-word answer. She’ll say something like, “Oh, I don’t know. You know, I’m fun.”
By judging whether she puts enthusiasm into her answer, you can tell if she’s into you.
Is She Disqualifying Herself?
You can also pay attention to whether or not she’s disqualifying herself.
If a woman isn’t attracted to you, she’ll say things like:
- “I’m so fat,”
- “I look horrible,”
- “I’m crazy. You know, I’m a head case.”
She’s not going to say those things to a guy that she’s trying to date.
So when you say things that give her a chance to qualify herself, you also give her the chance to disqualify herself if she’s just being friendly.
A Question That Reveals Her Attraction Level
Rob Judge uses the question, “How good of a cuddler are you?”
If the girl starts saying, “I’m an amazing cuddler. I’m the best cuddler in the world,” he knows she’s interested and he’ll invite her back to his place to keep hanging out.
But on the other hand, if she says, “I don’t cuddle,” or “Ah, not very good,” then she’s pretty much telling him, “I’m not interested.”
Attraction Test #3: Flirting With Future
My friend Christian Hudson came up with the name for this technique.
Observe how she reacts when you flirt with the future.
Let’s say you’re talking to a woman and says, “Ah, I love rock climbing.”
You reply, “I’ve always wanted to rock climb. You’re going to give me a lesson one day.”
That’s flirting with the future.
If she reacts positively and says something like, “Definitely. It’s going to be so much fun,” that’s a good sign that she’s interested in you.
If she says something vague like, “Oh yeah,” and brushes it off almost like she didn’t hear it, that’s a sign that she’s not into you.
Don’t Overdo It
Don’t keep talking about it at length. Just throw the comment out there and go back to whatever else you were talking about.
You’re not trying to lock it down by saying, “Next Tuesday, I’m going to meet you and you’re going to do it.”
You’re just going to say the comment to see how she reacts.
Jon Sinn’s friend Captain Jack called this technique “time bridging” because it creates a bridge in her mind to picturing a future with you.
Attraction Test #4: Offer Her A Sip of Your Drink
I was at a bar years ago when I first saw this technique. A woman used it on me.
I had known this woman a bit beforehand. She was drinking as she walked up to me. She said, “This drink is so good. Try it.” And she handed it to me.
I tried it, sipped from her same straw, and gave it back to her. I realized it was an intimate thing to offer me the drink, and when I accepted it, I was signaling that I was comfortable with it.
The Drink Matters
I started testing it out. I realized that if I was drinking a beer, the invitation “Try my beer” didn’t work well very… but it worked really well with mixed drinks.
If I was drinking a Manhattan, I would go, “Does this seem really strong to you?”
If she takes a sip, it means she feels pretty comfortable with me. You’re not going to take a sip from someone’s drink if you think they’re gross.
Attraction Test #5: The High-Five Test
Let’s say you’re talking to a girl and the conversation’s been going well. Then she mentions a piece of good news or an accomplishment. For example, let’s say she mentions she just got a promotion at work.
You say, “High-five!”
That’s right. A high-five. Friendly thing to do.
But when you high-five her, let your hand linger there touching her palm for a little longer than normal.
Observe what she does.
If she high-fives you, then pulls her hand away immediately, she may just be having a friendly conversation with you.
But if she lets her hand linger on your palm… or better yet, grips her fingers around yours… that’s a good sign that she’s interested in you. She’ll let her hand stay there as long as you do the same.
7 “Hidden Signs” a Woman Wants You
The Next Step
A lot of guys ask, “What about if I’m texting with a girl? How do I know if it’s going anywhere?”
Some guys say they’ve gone on a couple of dates with a girl and are still not sure where it’s going.
Maybe you have an attractive coworker, you haven’t talked to her, and you’re trying to decide if she’d want you to walk over and start a conversation.
Or maybe you’re at a party. How do you tell if a girl wants you to approach her?
Rob Judge and I put together a guide called 88 Ways To Read Her Mind.
It teaches you to determine what she’s thinking so you can predict her every move.
Similar to these attraction tests that I gave you here, Rob and I found that in every situation, there’s things that you can do that give you an idea of where you stand.
When I realized this, I started using it on girls that I was friends with.
I found several times that girls who I never thought were into me were actually sending me these signals. I had been missing out.
And the more you use these, a whole new world of opportunity opens up.
So if you want to learn more tricks like these for determining where you stand with a woman, check out 88 Ways to Read Her Mind at the link below.
