“Friend Zone Mistake” #1: Trading ‘Desire’ for Validation
We’ve all been there. You spot a drop dead gorgeous woman from across the room. You may even nudge your friend and proclaim “You don’t even know what I would do to her bro.”
Yep, from 20 feet away you’re feeling that lust and desire.
The type of energy that makes you get off your lazy ass and approach her. Or even ask her out.
But what happens when you actually go and talk to her?
Oops. All of a sudden you’re talking about puppy dogs and rainbows. You avoid holding eye contact and keep your hands to yourself. And what’s with that goofy ass grin. Why are you laughing so hard? She didn’t even make a joke.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Well, us guys are a strange breed. Sure, we want sex and think about it all the time. But even more than that, we just want women to like us. Especially beautiful women.
So if we can make her laugh or smile, we consider that a huge victory in itself. We feel like we just won the lottery.
Unfortunately, this also means we don’t end up asking her out or going for the kiss.
We’d rather walk away with “her approval” than risk losing it by trying to push things in a physical direction.
Remember, having desire for a woman is a good thing. It can make you act bold and be brave.
But always be aware of your need for female validation. Because it will sneak up on you. And make you complacent and risk averse.
Instead of begging for “validation”, work on creating sexual tension.
“Friend Zone Mistake” #2: Enjoying too Much Affection Before Sex
The first night you met her, you could barely control yourself. Those lips, those long legs. You just had to have her.
And then, something strange happened.
As you got to learn more about her, you started thinking…this girl is different. She’s special. A good girl.
You guys go to the movies. Shop at the mall. Share ice cream. And as soon as you get home, text back and forth for hours. Like you’ve been dating for years.
But you forgot something. Something crucial.
You guys haven’t even kissed yet!
Yep, you have it all backwards. You’re trying to enjoy all of the “girlfriend perks” before you’ve even hooked up with her.
Which is fine, but we both know when some new guy comes along and gets her into bed, she’ll suddenly be too busy to hang out with you. Or worse, you’ll be downgraded to a “text buddy”.
Remember, there will be plenty of time to enjoy her affection and friendship after you guys have gotten physical. So don’t get all needy for long talks and “friend hugs”, only to skip the most important step.
Guys, the next time you’re interacting with a woman you like, pay very close attention to your focus. Are you more concerned with making her like you (validation) or are you content just pretending like you have a new girlfriend (female affection).
Be honest, are you acting like a wussy?
If so, you need to get back in touch with your male desires. And rediscover your drive. Because the type of validation and affection you really want only comes after you’ve hooked up with her.
And the fastest way to make that happen is to keep your focus on getting physical first.