Dating > Conversation > Sexual Questions
by Jon Sinn • Updated: September 03, 2022
Using Questions to Create Double Binds
In this article I’m going break down how I use questions and cold reads to create a double bind.
The reason you’ll do this is because matter how a woman answers it moves her one step closer to your bed.
This is an extremely effective technique which allows you to use a bunch of different tactics like cold reading, pacing, sexual framing and building rapport.
Double binds are typically yes or no questions you ask a woman and are able to qualify her as a result of her answer, either way she answers.
Example of a “Double Bind” Question to Ask a Girl
When I used to live in San Diego, I would meet girls and ask them “Are you just like the typical Pacific Beach party chick?”
This is a double bind because I can qualify her answer either way.
- If she says yes, I can give her a high five and say something like “Yes I love to party too! We should totally get shots!”
- If she says no, I can still qualify her by saying something like “That’s good, I’m kinda over the party scene myself.”
Either way I’m qualifying her, giving her a reason I like her, and building rapport by showing her that we have something in common.
We can take it a step further by then cold reading her on what she just agreed to.
Remember that cold reads are just simple vague statements that are positive and could be true about anyone.
Using Cold Read to Set a “Sexual Frame”
So going back to our party girl example, if she says yes I can throw in a cold read like:
“I always get along with girls that can really party, I feel like they’re always more independent. Like I bet you do whatever you want regardless of what your friends say. Right?”
I tag on the right at the end to get her to agree.
The more someone says yes, the more likely they are to say yes in the future, according to the principle of commitment and consistency taught by Robert Cialdini.
Now I’m using the double bind to start sexually framing her as someone who does whatever she wants no matter what her friends think. Because she’s already agreed with my double bind, she’s going to agree with my cold read and things are going to start heating up.
On the other hand if she’s not a party girl, I might use a cold read like:
“I like that even though you’re hot, you don’t feel like you need to party because everyone else is doing it. That’s very independent of you. I bet you’re the type of person who does whatever she wants no matter what her friends say right?”
Again either way she answers because I know how to use cold reads, and double binds together I’m able to start moving the interaction forward, no matter how she answers the question.
As homework try to come up with 1-3 double binds you can use the nest time you?re talking to an attractive woman.
My #1 Cold Reading Game for Sexual Framing
Download the Word-for-Word Script