How to Tell if a Girl Likes You (Look for “THESE” Secret Signs)

Dating Advice >  Guide to Tell if She Likes You
by Bobby Rio • Updated: August 16, 2023

how to tell if a girl likes you

Signs a Girl Likes You Explained

There is nothing worse than being confused by a girl’s behavior.

How many times have you been in a situation with a woman where you continually ask yourself:

  • Are you wasting your time with her?
  • Is she into you? Or just stringing you along?
  • Should you approach her?
  • Am I in the “friend zone”? Or should I make a move?

Whether she’s acting “hot” and “cold’ or is just plain hard to read, this guide is going to help you clear up any questions about whether or not a woman likes you.  And will show you what hidden signs to look for that reveal what she’s secretly thinking.

Because when you can read a woman’s mind, it’s much easier to make your move, ask her out, go for the kiss, or cut ties when she’s clearing not into you.

The 2023 Attraction Signs Guide

Reading Women Basics:

Decoding Her Texts:

Should You Make Your Move?

What Women Really Mean:

Common Questions About Whether or Not She Likes you

How many times have you been twenty minutes into a conversation with a woman and asking yourself “Does she like me or is she just being polite?”

It would be so much easier if they just came right out and said it, wouldn’t it?

But they won’t.

It’s up to you, as a man, to take notice of the subtle signals a woman is giving you, and act accordingly.

It you don’t have your eyes wide open for these signals you may wind up in a dead end conversation with a girl who has no interest in you past the free drinks you’ve been feeding her.

Or you might wind up chasing a girl for YEARS, while she’s just stringing you along or keeping you as a “backup plan”.

Or even worse, you may wind up walking away from a girl who is practically jumping at the chance to follow you back to your place and tear your clothes off.

So what are these subtle signals you should be looking out for? What are other way how to tell if a girl likes you?

7 Secret Signs a Woman Likes You

A lot of guys don’t know where they stand with a woman. This makes it hard to take that dominant, masculine frame, because you wonder, “Am I making a fool of myself? Am I the guy not getting a hint?”

So we want to talk about ways that you know where you stand, and if she wants you or not.

Hidden Sign #1: She’s Noticeably Playing the Game

When Rob and I do private coaching calls, we see a lot of guys bugging out because women are not texting them back right away, or women are saying ambiguous statements, leaving the guys wondering what they meant.

We tell them: if she’s not playing the game a little bit, it means she’s not into you.

If she always responds right away, sometimes that’s a bad thing, because she doesn’t care enough to play the game.

You want to make sure she’s playing a game.

Consider The Context of Whether She Likes You or Not

How do you determine whether she’s playing the game or if she’s just not interested?

Look closely at her communication style.

How much she was responding in the beginning? If you didn’t make any mistakes, nothing really changed, now she’s giving the same type of responses but she’s taking three hours to respond?

Read between the lines: she’s putting in the effort to put on this performance. She’s trying to attract you.

Just like you’re reading this article, she’s gone followed some advice. She’s doing this for your benefit. Recognize that as a sign of interest.

When you’re playing the game, it’s very calculating, right? We always have to warn clients that if you always wait a similarly long amount of time to text a woman back, it starts to look calculated. She’ll pick up on the fact that you’re playing the game.

Well, she does the same thing. So if you notice that she always waits two hours, rest assured she’s gaming.

Ask yourself, “Is she doing the things that I do when I’m playing the game?” If she does, then she likes you, and you should be more confident in pursuing her.

Hidden Sign #2: Intimate Gestures

Consider these examples of intimate gestures:

    • She takes a sip from your drink
    • She moves a little closer to you
    • She gets into you personal space

The litmus test is: would this gesture be awkward for me to do with my guy friends or with a male coworker?

If the answer is yes, it’s intimate.

So look for the signs and respond correctly.

If she says, “How’s that drink?” and asks for a sip, don’t tell yourself “She just wanted to know about the drink.”

If she moves closer to you, don’t tell yourself, “She’s just a close talker.”

Put it through that litmus test:

    • Would this be weird if my guy friend did it?
    • Would this be awkward if my male coworker did it?

Example of how I could tell a girl likes me

My girl and I were at a party once. I was drinking a margarita. Another woman from the party comes over and she’s talking to me and asks, “Can I try it?”

Not only did she drink from my drink, but she drank from the same straw.

My girl later complained to me, “She drank from your straw.”

I was like, “But she just wanted to try…”

And my girl goes, “Yeah, but if her boyfriend came over and drank from your straw, you would think that was weird.”

It dawned on me. If her boyfriend had asked the same question about my drink and drank from my straw, that would have been totally weird.

More examples of girl’s making intimate gestures

Another time, I was talking to a girl and she mentioned she had started working out.

She said, “Feel my muscle.” As soon as she said that, I knew she was interested. Because if some guy was working out and asked me to feel his muscle, that would be weird. It’s an intimate gesture.

Another example is if they have a tattoo in a sexy spot and they volunteer to show it to you. Or if you have a tattoo on your back and she wants to pull up your shirt and look at it.

All these things are a little bit intimate; they should give you the confidence to think, “All right. I’m not saying she wants to be my wife, but she’s definitely interested to take it a little further.”

Hidden Sign #3: She Teases You

This one stumps a lot of guys. This is where she busts your balls, she makes a joke about you, she picks you apart a little bit, but in a playful way.

A lot of guys go, “She must not like me, because if she did, she wouldn’t be making jokes about me.”

It’s actually the opposite, because teasing is the ultimate form of flirting.

To see if this is flirty-teasing or if she’s just being mean, run it through this litmus test:

    • Would she do this to some random guy off the street?
    • Would she say this to an old man?
    • Would she say this to some guy who was just sliding into her DMS?

No. She’s doing this because she’s testing you. She wants to see if you’re really that confident guy.

Its the Opposite of What Most Men Think

Guys often have the wrong idea about teasing from movies and TV.

Rob was watching Saved by the Bell reruns with his daughter and realized that Lisa was always busting Screech’s balls. She was making fun of him.

In the context of the show, it was supposedly a sign that she was interested in him. So guys translate that into their personal lives.

But in real life, busting your balls is a sign that a girl likes you.

Remember, she’s not going to say that to some random guy. She’s only going to do that to a guy that she’s interested in. She’s communicating, “Hey, you seem pretty cool and confident… let’s see just how cool and confident you really are.”

The Scary Opposite

Teasing means a woman is attracted to you. But the opposite is true as well.

A woman is not going to tease the “nice guy”– the guy that she knows doesn’t do well with women. She’ll stick up for him, saying things like, “Don’t make fun of him. He’s really nice.”

Because she feels bad for him. She’s not attracted to him. So if she stands up for you, that’s one of the worst possible signs.

Hidden Sign #4: Social Media Dog Whistling

If a girl likes you, there are certain things that women will do to get your attention on social media.

Maybe you gave her a compliment on something. You said, “I like that sunflower dress you’re wearing.”

A couple days later, she’s wearing that sunflower dress in picture on social media.

Or you mentioned you love the New York Yankees.

Suddenly one of her Instagram stories declares, “Watching the Yankees game.”

People use social media with an agenda.

Think about how you use social media, you go on there thinking, “I have a purpose. Oh, I want to get this girl’s attention.” But you don’t want to be too obvious about it.

“Oh, she recommended this book. Maybe if I show that I’m reading that book, I’ll get a comment from her.”

She’s thinking the same way. She’s baiting you because she wants you to notice her and reach out.

Is it Genuine Sign She LikesYou or Are You Overthinking

Use your discretion here, because you don’t want to drive yourself crazy splitting hairs, but social media is going to give you some very useful clues into whether a girl likes you.

So let’s revisit that Yankees example. If you mention the Yankees, then a few days later she posts, “Yankees win. So excited.” Take a look at her previous posts.

If she has 20 other posts from last year talking about the Yankees, then it probably wasn’t for you.

But if she’s never mentioned the Yankees before, she’s doing it now to get your attention.

Be cognizant of the question, “Is this new behavior from her?” You want to see if it’s different from her history.

Hidden Signs #4: Making Excuses to Contact You

Maybe there’s a girl you work with, or a girl in your social circle with her. Maybe you’re in the friend zone with her.

Then all of a sudden, she’s reaching out to you for random things. Maybe she finds out that you’re in marketing and she says, “I wanted to ask you some marketing questions,” then asks you a bunch of non-specific questions.

If it’s advice she could have got from Youtube or an article online, or if you’re not even an expert in the topic she’s asking about, the chances are that it’s an excuse to get closer to you.

Maybe your ex-girlfriend wants to give you back an item, or make you aware of something, or check in on some topic you both used to have in common.

Don’t let yourself think, “Oh, she really just wanted this item back.”

The Flash Drive Example

An ex-girlfriend once told Rob, “I found this old flash drive that had one of your files on it. I’m about to reformat the flash drive. Do you need this file?”

At first, Rob thought she was just being considerate. Then he realized, “She knows I’m a nerd. She knows that if I needed that file, she didn’t have to reach out, email me, break this period of no contact to tell me about this computer file on a flash drive that she’s allegedly about to format.”

You’ve got to read between those lines. As humans, we don’t want to put ourselves completely out there, or she’s testing the water a bit by talking to you about the excuse.

Hidden Sign #5: She Becomes Self-Conscious

 Here’s another sign a woman likes you, and another way to tell if a girl likes you.

Stay alert for when you see a girl start to become self-conscious, where she starts wanting to present herself in a more attractive way.

Maybe she’s chewing gum to freshen her breath. Or she says, “I’ll be right back,” and when she returns from the bathroom, you see that she adjusted her hair or reapplied makeup. Maybe you smell a whiff of perfume.

Sometimes when we sit down, there’s a natural roll of fat around the stomach. Maybe she leans in so that roll is not visible.

It’s stuff that she’s doing for your benefit because she wants to look good for you.

If you see a girl playing with her hair, that’s an old school sign that a lot of guys miss.

You should do the Opposite

If you’re trying to get under a girl’s head, you may be tempted to be self-conscious and want to show up and woo her in a nice suit. Rob and I often tell guys to do the opposite of this. Show her a lack of self-consciousness to drive her crazy. One time on a date, do a pattern-interrupt by showing up in sweatpants as if you don’t really care.

I have a friend, Doug, who does very well with women. One thing he does is burp in front of them.

Women respond well to the fact that he doesn’t care. It creates a power dynamic of them wanting to impress him since he seemed so unimpressed by them.

Hidden Sign #6: She Takes for Granted that She’ll See You Again

It’s almost like she’s already thinking about a future.

First we have the obvious cases. If she’s saying,

    • “I want to go skiing with you.”
    • “I want to go on this trip with you.”
    • “I want to take you to this place.”

Those are easy-to-spot signals that she imagines you’ll be in her life for a while.

Now let’s talk about the subtle.

More subtle ways to know if a girl likes you

Let’s say you’re talking about something coming up at your job. Watch for her to say something like, “Oh, I can’t wait to hear about that” or “You’re going to be great on that. We can celebrate.”

She’s assuming that she’s going to see you again because she really likes you. It starts seeping out in the things she says, almost like a Freudian slip.

You can trust that she’s into you.

The fact is, the #1 sign she likes is she makes time to hang out with you.

Avoid This BIG Mistake When You Sense a Woman Likes You

Now for a warning.

A lot of guys notice a girl doing this and make the mistake of thinking, “That gives me permission to tell her I really like her,” or “She made a comment that implies that we’re going to talk again, I’ll confirm that for her and say for sure that we’ll meet up so I can tell her what happened at work.”

When you do that, it’s like showing your hand in poker. You don’t want to do it.

Instead, when she makes a comment like, “Oh, when we talk next time…” it’s better if you don’t say anything to confirm or deny it.

It leaves that thought in her mind like, “Oh, he didn’t confirm that we’ll talk again…”

The most powerful stuff in dating really is below the surface, and she’s going to feel a mystery and an uncertainty creep in. Those will work to keep her chasing you.

So, when you notice her becoming self-conscious, don’t go so far as to think, “I can stop playing the game,” but tell yourself, “Awesome. She’s into me. I’ve got her attention” and move forward with confidence.

5 “Tests” That Reveal if a Woman Wants You

The Next Steps

If you’re reading this article, chances are there’s a girl that is a little confusing to you. And, a lot of times that confusion is what makes you think about her more. The more you think about her, the more you start convincing yourself that you’re really into her.

What Rob and I figured out is that, to get a girl really into you, you need to create that same confusion in her mind.

We put together another video, because a lot of guys get this completely wrong and don’t know how to balance showing interest while still playing the game to reel her in.

We want to teach you how to balance sending out the messages “I’m interested in you” with communication that will make her think “Does he really like me or kind of like me?”

If you struggle with that balance, I want you to click the link  and watch our 30-minute video where we teach a technique called the Scrambler. It shows how to walk that fine line in a way that draws her in and gets her almost obsessed with you.

 

how to tell if a girl likes you

How to tell if a Girl Likes You (More Signs)

All of the signs below, in isolation, don’t necessarily mean a woman is into you. But as you begin to see several of these signals of interest, you can be certain that, you’ve got enough rapport to begin to escalate the conversation to a more intimate level.

#1. She is Laughing at Your Jokes, Even When They’re Not Funny

If a girl is being the perfect audience, laughing on cue, egging you on to talk more, and has a big smiled plastered across her face the entire time you’re talking it is a pretty clear indication that she’s enjoying your company.

When we laugh at someone we unconsciously are saying “I like you. And I’m listening to what you’re saying.” And if she is going out of her way to make sure that she’s laughing. she is also going out of her way to encourage you to keep talking.

Just be careful not to confuse true laughter with an “oh my god get me out of here” grin or a nervous giggle.

#2. She Tells You to Take a Sip of Her Drink

This one has been an almost 100% indicator for me over the years that a woman was ready to be kissed.

If you’re at a bar talking to a woman, and she hands you her drink and says something like “Try my drink.” Or if she encourages you in any way to take a sip of her drink, she is unconsciously telling you that she is comfortable with you on a more intimate level. This is a great “little known” signal that lets you know if a girl likes you.

#3. She Asks You if You Have a Girlfriend or Pries for the Information

When a woman is around a man that she is becoming attracted to, she will almost always try to find out if he has a girlfriend.

Most women will flat out ask.

If she doesn’t flat out ask, she’ll most likely ask questions that pry for the information like “Who do you live with?” Or if you just told a story about going on vacation or to a concert, she’ll say “Who did you go with?”

If a woman has no interest in you whatsoever, she very rarely will care whether or not you have a girlfriend.

#4. The Hi-Five Test

If you want to actively try to figure out if a woman is interested, here is a little test you can do that will help you gage the amount of interest a woman has.

As you’re talking to a woman, and she says something you like, give her a high five.

The key is that as you slap her hand sort of grip her fingers for a split second. Her reaction to this indicates her comfort level around you.

If she pulls her hand immediately away, or leaves her fingers limp, she probably still does not feel comfortable around you.

On the other hand, if she hold her hand there for a second, grips your fingers back, or sort of lets her hand slide against yours, it’s a pretty good indicator that you’ve developed a nice level of rapport with her.

#5. She Calls You a Player

Strange right?

Most guys would assume that if a girl says “you’re such a player” that she is probably not interested.  But this is just one of those counter-intuitive things you figure out with enough time talking to women.

If a woman calls you a player, two things have already been accomplished. The first is that she has become comfortable enough around you to say that sort of thing. And the second, is that she views you as the sort of guy who is used to talking to women.

If a woman ever makes this sort of statement, simply view it as a “test” and go on with the conversation as usual. DO NOT defend yourself or try to prove to her that you aren’t. In fact, the best response is to just smile and say “Is it that obvious?” and proceed with the conversation as if it was never said.

There are various other “indicators of interest” that some dating gurus recommend looking out for such as body language, eye contact, and verbal cues. But when someone asks me “how to tell if a girl likes you” these are the 5 signals I recommend they look out for.

List of IOIs (Indicators of Interest)

    • She reinitiates conversation when you stop talking
    • She giggles
    • She touches you
    • She plays with / tosses her hair
    • She asks you for your name or any other personal questions (e.g., age, where you live)
    • She disagrees with you but laughs when she does
    • She compliments you on anything
    • She asks if you have a girlfriend or mentions your girlfriend, whether or not you’ve said you have one
    • She calls you a player or a heartbreaker
    • She introduces you to her friends

When Is it Time to Walk Away from a Girl Who Doesn’t Like You?

Quick Review (15 Signs She Doesn’t Like You)

    1. She Gives One-Word Responses to your texts
    2. She Doesn’t Make Time to Hang Out
    3. She Gets Uncomfortable When You Move Close
    4. She Makes Excuse to Leave Conversation
    5. She Says She Has a Boyfriend
    6. She Waits too Long to Text Back
    7. Closed off Body Language
    8. She is Flakey
    9. She Talks About Guys She’s Dating
    10. She Doesn’t Ask Any Personal Info
    11. She Doesn’t Want to Be Alone with You
    12. She Isn’t Nervous Around You at All
    13. She Won’t Be Near You without a Friend
    14. She Never Touches You
    15. She Says You’re “Nice”

What are Body Language Signs a Girl Likes You?

Knowing what it means when a girl touches her hair, leans in close or keeps making physical contact with you can be a powerful tool in knowing how to make the most of every situation.

Have you ever been speaking to a girl and you felt like she wasn’t really that interested? Maybe she was facing away from you, was on her phone or was answering you with one-word answers.

Chances are, she gave you some pretty big indications. She may not have been interested and because you didn’t notice, the situation just got worse.

When a woman likes you, she will face in your direction, you are the main factor of her attention. If a woman has her torso turned towards you in an open manner that means she’s intrigued by the conversation and wants to know more about you.

Another thing to watch out for is which way her feet are pointing. In the same way as her torso if her feet are unconsciously pointing towards you that can be a sign she is into you or at the least interested in what you are saying.

Body language is a huge indicator of attraction, and these are unconscious signs that are hard to duplicate consciously or to fake. If she seems safe around you and is open to wanting you her feet and torso will show it.

Body Language Can Also Signal Disinterest

On the opposite end of the spectrum, if she’s:

      • Facing away from you
      • Her arms are crossed or her legs are folded
      • Looking at the door to see who else is coming in

She’s either shy or she’s creating a barrier between both of you. Watch where her eyes are going to, if she keeps looking at the door to see who keeps coming in, she’s probably waiting for a better option to come along, you better grab her attention, quick!

Does She Look at You When She Laughs?

Many of you may know that laughter is the key to the soul, but not many realize it”s also a key indicator of interest you can get from a woman that she’s flirting with you. There are many biological and psychological reasons for this.

If you are with a group of friends and you are the person she looks to first when everyone starts laughing this can be a good sign. It can show that she is genuinely interested in your reaction and wants to see if you find it funny too.

She does this because she wants to make an evaluation of you and is subconsciously making judgments on what you think is funny and whether you could work together well as a pair.

If she looks at other people also whilst laughing, don’t panic. This might just be an indicator of social acceptance. If she keeps swaying towards you she is definitely interested.

Be careful not to be too obvious looking at her though, this can lead to things getting awkward quickly if she thinks you are analyzing her the same as she is you.

What are Her Eyes Are Telling You?

Ready for some science? When women see something they are psychologically attracted to, their pupils will increase up to three times to increase the amount of light to receive the stimulant.

It sounds awesome when you consider that you are stimulating her, but make sure to not misread these signs. You want to be looking for the change in her pupils as other factors can make her pupils dilate such as sunlight or alcohol.

One of the best times to pay close attention to her eyes is when you offer her something or ask her a question. If you see her pupils dilate this is a really big sign she’s into you.

Beyond the science, you will also find that if a woman holds your gaze for a few seconds, or if she instantly glances down as soon as she makes eye contact this can also mean that she is into you.

You’ll sometimes find more confident women will happily hold your gaze, whilst a shy girl might not be so inclined to do so. This can be a great way to figure out what kind of women you are dealing with, depending if you prefer shy or more outgoing women.

Is She Trying to Get Close to You / Accidentally Touching You?

This is one of the strongest signs of interest which is also one of the easiest to pick up on. Although remember that a lot of this will depend on the context of the situation.

If a girl bumps into you in a crowded bar, it could just be a crowded bar. When a girl bumps into you a few times and keeps touching you in a different situation, now that’s a great indicator of interest!

You’ll find that accidental touching has huge psychological value, you can tell if it’s accidental or not just by applying common sense. This could come in anything from brushing your hand, touching your arm or shoulder and even falling into you.

You may also find that if a woman is trying to position herself closer to you and is brushing her leg against you, this can be another sign she?s into you. Try and get close to her and touch her hand, lower back or face, but make sure you aren’t coming across as creepy.

Watch and observe how she responds to you when you touch her, focus on seeing if her torso and feet are pointing towards you and if her pupils dilate when you touch her, these are all tell-tale signs that she is into you.

Remember that not all girls are into touching, and you shouldn’t think she isn’t into you just because she isn’t touching you.

Test the boundaries, just try not to push it too far.

What Does it Mean When She Compliments You?

When a girl is complimenting you, it’s worth being aware of what she is complimenting you on. So often, compliments are down to context and the situation you hear them in.

Sometimes, women are looking for ways for you to react to compliments, and can even be sarcastic so make sure not to jump at an opportunity too early. Look out for if she is smiling whilst she asks you these questions and pay attention to her body language when you respond to her.

If she’s complimenting you this can be a very direct way of her showing she is interested and you should pick up on this quickly.

What Does it Mean if Her Voice Gets Higher?

You know when you are shopping for something online, and then in the next few weeks, you see that item everywhere? That is your brain picking up on something that before it gave no attention to.

By training your brain to focus on certain aspects of speaking to women, you will be able to pick up on signs that she is into you a lot easier. A perfect example of this is with her tone of voice.

This is something which most people, unless concentrating. will not pick up on. Once you start to focus on how a woman’s tone of voice changes through conversations you can tell a lot about them:

      • If they are bored
      • If they are offended
      • If they are intrigued
      • If they are attracted
      • If they want to jump your bones

The change in voice tone comes from the same unconscious actions category as what we covered in body language. Eyes dilating, feet pointing and torso moving all fit into the same category. This change of voice can be dated back to a primal level when a tone change in voice would be used to attract a mate.

Women will often not even be aware of this change in tone themselves, but when finding a new guy attractive this can happen. The voice will usually change in one or two ways.

Her voice may get more high pitched, more childlike and to a flirty tone. Alternatively, her voice may deepen into a much more sultry tone. The aim with both is to get your attention in a flirty way, women will often feel these changes sound more attractive with an aim to get your attention.

As with watching for other unconscious actions, it’s about noticing the change.

Quick Review (21 Signs a Woman Likes You)

        1. She Gets Closer to You
        2. She Finds Reasons to Talk to You
        3. She Asks Your Age
        4. She Laughs at All Your Jokes
        5. She Gets Jealous
        6. She Calls You a Player
        7. She Compliments A lot
        8. She Keeps Making Eye Contact
        9. She Asks Your Name
        10. She Asks if You’re Single
        11. She Makes Future Plans
        12. She Wants to Introduce You to Her Friends
        13. She Pries for Personal Info
        14. She Keeps the Conversation Going
        15. She Gives Genuine Smiles
        16. She Gives You a Flirty Nickname
        17. She Lightly Touches You
        18. She Sends Random Texts
        19. She Playfully Teases You
        20. She Plays with Her Hair
        21. She Acts Extra Girlie

5 Easy Ways to Make Her CHASE YOU Instead