How to Become a HIGH VALUE Man

Dating> Attraction > High Value Man
by Bobby Rio • Updated: August 06, 2022

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6 Ways to Show a Woman You Are “High Value”

How do you let a woman know that you’re a high value man?

  • How do you convey your attractive qualities and reasons she should chase you?
  • What do you say to her?

The answer is that you don’t say anything.

Show, don’t tell.

In this article, I’m going to give you six ways to demonstrate that you are a high value guy… without saying anything.

#1: Demonstrate Preselection

The powerful concept of PRESELECTION is that women want a guy who other women want.

I can remember one time when I had come out of a relationship, my game was really rusty. I was at a party where I met this girl, Grace, and hit it off.  So our mutual friends decided to set us up.

Back then, I was figuring all this attraction stuff out and was still in the learning phase. I thought to myself, “I have to show her I’m a player and a bad boy.”

Throughout the date, I went overboard telling her how I didn’t want anything serious; I just wanted to have fun. I bragged about my social life. She ended up leaving that night and I never heard from her again. I remember thinking to myself, “Maybe I overdid it.”

What I didn’t pick up on at that time was that the whole idea of demonstrating these qualities that women chase is that you have to actually DEMONSTRATE it.

Talk is cheap.

A rich person doesn’t walk around telling everybody he’s rich or he looks like a douchebag.

A confident guy doesn’t have to tell everybody, “Hey, I’m really confident.”

A guy who doesn’t care what other people think doesn’t walk around going, “I don’t care what other people think.”

Because when you do that, what does it make other people think? That you actually care or else you wouldn’t be saying anything.

It’s the same thing with expressing your attractive qualities to a woman. When you have to verbally say it, it comes across as TRY-HARD.

It has the opposite effect of making you look low-status and desperate to impress.

Having Options Makes You More High Value

One attractive quality in a man is having options. A man should have a lot of women in his life so that he doesn’t focus too much attention on any one of them. A client of mine had recently learned that idea, yet struggled to figure out why he wasn’t attracting the women he liked the most.

He told me, “Every time I’m with her, I talk about how I was out last night or how I’m talking to this other girl.” And I said to him, “But when you’re with her, what are you doing?”

He says, “Well, I’m talking to her and we’re just having a good time.”

I go, “If you see her at a party, what do you do?”

“Oh, we gravitate to each other and I spend the whole night talking to her.”

There was my point.

Your “Attention” Should be Hard to Get

What you do with your attention tells a woman more than your words ever will.

You could sit there and tell a woman that you have options with other girls and a huge social life.

But if the minute she pops up, she gets all of your attention… then she knows she has you.

How much attention you give her demonstrates your value.

A high value guy’s attention is hard to get and hard to keep.

If a woman walks into a place and a guy gives her attention the whole time, she knows he can’t be too high value of a guy. Because she just met him and got all of his attention.

If she meets a guy and asks him to hang out, then he jumps at the chance and immediately calls her, she knows he can’t be too high value of a guy. Because she just met him and got all of his attention.

A high value guy’s attention is limited. He’s got a lot of stuff going on in his life. He’s not going to get wrapped up in her so fast.

So get ready to withdraw your attention.

If you see a woman out and you’re talking to her, momentarily take your attention away from her and put it on your friends.  That does more than you standing there for two hours talking about how you hang out with your friends all the time.

Show, don’t tell. That’s going to create the emotional effect in her.

You could also accomplish this by letting her see you flirt with another woman. It’s that idea of PRESELECTION we talked about. A woman wants to know that other women like you.

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#2: Demonstrate Confidence and Experience

She wants to know that you’re confident and experienced. If you’re not, women will pick up on that. They’ll try to put pieces of information together, wondering things like, “Has he dated a lot of women before? He doesn’t seem very confident. Are most of his ex-girlfriends hermits?”

So if you think to yourself, “Well, I got to let her know that I’m experienced,” and you tell her, “I’m confident. I don’t care what girls think,” that comes across as the complete opposite: lack of confidence and a deep insecurity over what people think.

I’ve learned this the hard way. When I hire a contractor to come over to my house, I learned that the contractors that talk the most about their accomplishments are the always the ones who do the worst job.

If they say, “Oh, I did this person’s house and I’ve done these jobs a million times,” they’re compensating for the fact that they actually can’t back it up.

A contractor that’s really good, he walks in, he looks at a few things. He measures something, and he’s like, “I can handle this.” He doesn’t have to do a 20-minute speech about how good he is. And it’s the same thing with girls.

If you’re having to tell her about all the other girls in your life or telling her you’re a player, odds are that you don’t have other girls in your life. Want to convey that you’re a player? Let her actually see you start a conversation with another woman.

Maybe you’re out at a social event with your girl and you turn to another woman at some point and start talking to her. And your girl sees there’s a little bit of a flirtation going on.

Don’t do this all the time or it becomes disrespectful. But if you do it once and she thinks, “Oh, wait a minute, this guy can create attraction in another woman,” the message has been sent. You didn’t have to tell her. She’s seen it. And it’s way more powerful when we see it with our own eyes.

#3: Demonstrate Dominant Behavior

On to another attractive quality. We always hear that women like dominant men. Men who handle things. Masculine men.

Don’t say, “Oh, I’m the kind of guy that takes care of things.” Talk is cheap. The way you convey that you’re a masculine man is to actually demonstrate it. Let her see you step in and handle something that she can’t handle on her own.

An example of Demonstrating Dominance:

My girl had a plumbing issue the other day. A plumber came over and worked on it. After he left, the problem got even worse. She called the company and he refused to come back to finish the work.

I was like, “All right.” I took the phone and I went in the other room and I called the guy up. And an hour later, he was back and he ripped up the check and didn’t charge her any of what he initially was charging.

That’s handling something.

That shows her you’re a guy that takes care of things. That’s where it has the most impact.

#4: Lead and Seduce

Many guys hear the advice, “You’ve got to bring sex into the conversation. You’ve got to be more sexual.” So they attempt to do this by talking about sex. They awkwardly say things like, “Ah, man, I love sex. I can go all night.”

The problem is, talking logically about the subject of sex… is not sexy.

Telling her how experienced you are… is not sexy.

Telling her how good in bed you are… is not sexy.

You’re going to accomplish way more by just being a seductive guy.

How do you accomplish BEING a seductive guy?

By creating that moment where everything slows down and you’re looking at her in that seductive way and you touch her hand.

That’s going to demonstrate everything that you were thinking you were demonstrating by talking about sex. Just lead her into a sensual moment.

Now there are some girls that love talking about sex. But in conversations about sex, the moment comes where she’s expecting you to do something. At that point, the average nice guy chickens out, hugs her, and ends the date. The girl will be turned off and disappointed. She’ll think, “Well, what the hell?” Talk is cheap.

Don’t be a sheep in wolf’s clothing – a weak nice guy pretending to have an edge. Because eventually, the sheep underneath is going to be seen. Instead, just BE that guy.

Instead of talking about being a leader, say “Hey, come with me.” Take her by the hand and actually lead her somewhere.

Back in the early days of dating instructors, the advice used to be, “Tell her stories about your exes.”

None of that is as important as making her feel seductive sexual energy with you.

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#5: Be Spontaneous and Adventurous

Being spontaneous and adventurous is universally attractive.

Some guys think they can communicate this by saying, “I’m going to tell her about the time in college when I took a road trip down to Mexico.” Again, that’s the wrong idea. You want to show, not tell.

My friend, Rob Judge, had a move he used to do in New York City. I’ve seen him do it hundreds of times.

He’d be talking to some girl at a bar for two or three minutes… then he’d just lean in and kiss her. And she’d go, “What?” And he’d go, “Oh, sorry, I just had to do that. Go on, keep talking.”

The girl would be shocked, but she would be so intrigued because nobody has ever done that to her before. He’d wind up 90% of the time getting her number.

Why were the women so interested? Because they just saw him being adventurous. They just experienced him being spontaneous. That one gesture accomplishes more than anything he could have said.

He could have sat there and told her stories about crazy things he did over the course of his life… but instead he actually SHOWED her that he’s a risk taker.

Confidence is another attractive trait that works the same way. Don’t go telling a woman that you’re confident. SHOW her you’re confident by flirting with her. That displays boldness. That displays a willingness to take risks.

#6: Use Breadcrumbs That Draw Her In

When it comes to demonstrating value, you can’t announce the whole message to someone all at once. That will sound like bragging. That will sound TRY-HARD.

Instead of giving someone the whole meal all at once, leave them a crumb that will whet their appetite. They’ll want to look for another crumb. When they find that, they’ll want another crumb after that… it will all start to add up, but they’ll be the one looking for the crumbs, you won’t be the one shoving the meal in their face.

And in this case, the crumbs represent flattering information about yourself.

Use social media to your advantage.

Demonstrate that you have a social life or that you hang out with a lot of girls. This is especially important if you’re stuck in the friend zone and need to show her that she’s not the only girl in your life.

A mistake I see a lot of guys make, however, is to post a way-too-obvious picture. I look at the image and it’s them with a goofy smile and their arm around a girl. The picture is attempting to scream, “See, look, I have other girls in my life. See? Look! Another girl right here, my arm is even around her. Pretty neat, right?”

Unfortunately, the girl you’re trying to attract will know what you’re doing. It will come across as staged and TRY-HARD.

Here’s just one example of a much better way. Post a picture of you and there’s a girl’s arm here. You just see her arm.

The girl you’re after is going to be way more interested in that picture, because the whole story is not there. She only has a breadcrumb to follow.

She’ll be studying it, wondering, “Is that a female arm? He said he was out with his friends. Why is there an arm close to him?”

Those kinds of things get a woman’s wheels turning. Then she’s piecing it together herself. With almost anything in life, when we come to a conclusion ourselves, it’s way more powerful than if someone had simply told us.

Another way to make her jealous

I had a client ask me how to do this during a Covid lockdown.

I said, “Cook yourself lobster. Post a video of you putting two lobsters in a boiling pot.”

Any woman with a sense of intuition is going to see that video and think, “Oh man, he’s making somebody lobster. Who’s he making that lobster for?”

She’s going to make assumptions. When we make assumptions ourselves, it’s way more powerful than if someone had merely told us.

It certainly works all the time on us guys. I hear clients all the time wondering, “Who’s that guy in the background of her picture?” or “She’s at this place and her ex-boyfriend lives like a mile from there.”

We play these games in our own head. So why not get that same principle working for you?

Avoid the obvious and give her the experience of following a trail of breadcrumbs.

5 Weird Ways to Make Her Want You More

What’s Next:  Take the High Value Quiz

I created a quiz to identify mistakes you might be making in the dating world.

It asks you seven common questions. For example, when a certain situation arises on a date, how do you respond? The quiz uses your answers to formulate your personality type, then gives you a customized profile explaining some of the mistakes that you’re probably making and how you can improve.

It can help you pinpoint where you’re messing up.

The quiz takes about 30 seconds and is completely free, you can find it at the link below.