Dating> Attraction > Display Masculinity
by Bobby Rio • Updated: August 11, 2022
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Five Ways to Project A Masculine Vibe With Women
Early on with a woman that you’re meeting or starting to date, a question goes through her mind:
“Am I leading him or is he leading me?”
Women are attracted to men who are strong, dominant, and display masculinity.
In this article, we’re going to discuss how to project that dominant masculine vibe.
Common Confusion About Masculinity
A lot of people get confused about what masculinity is. They picture an alpha bodybuilder biker and think masculinity equals looking like that.
I’ve coached a lot of masculine-looking guys. Guys who were in great shape and covered in tattoos. Yet when they’re around women, they crumble like little boys.
Being masculine is not about looking masculine. It’s about the attitude you convey. It’s about your “inner game” that you have around women.
- 1 Five Ways to Project A Masculine Vibe With Women
- 2 Masculine Trait #1: Willingness To Walk Away.
- 3 Masculine Trait #2: Demonstrate Boundaries.
- 4 Another Example of Personal Boundaries
- 5 Masculine Trait #2: Be Willing To Say “No”
- 6 Masculine Trait #4: Approval Honesty
- 7 Masculine Trait #5: Don’t Qualify Yourself
- 8 The Masculine Vibe is the Secret to “Chemistry”
- 9 Recap of 5 Ways to Create a “Masculine Vibe”
The Tiger, right?
If you look at a kitten and a tiger, why does the tiger demand more respect?
Because the tiger is harder to tame.
When it comes to women, they don’t want a guy to be the kitten that they can control very easily.
They want a man to be the tiger that takes a long time to tame.
So, how do you become that tiger? By displaying these five masculine traits.
Masculine Trait #1: Willingness To Walk Away.
This is something that my friends and I figured out years ago in college with a move that we called “the walkaway.”
If there was a girl we were interested in at a party, the chance of getting her attracted was a hundred times more powerful if we talked to her a little bit, then walked away from her.
Because that’s the opposite of what most guys do.
Most guys start having a conversation, realize it’s going well, and try to stay in that conversation the whole night.
They’re scared that if they walk away, somebody else is going to take her.
What we found is that if you’re having a good conversation, then you say something like, “I’m going to go catch up with some of my friends,” then later you re-engage with her, her buying temperature at that point is spiked because you’ve demonstrated that you’re not going to cling to her.
You’re that tiger that’s harder to tame.
One way to show willingness to walk away is by withholding approval.
When a lot of guys are with an attractive woman, they’re afraid to demonstrate disapproval.
They’re afraid to demonstrate boredom with her or that they’re let down in something she says.
Let’s say she’s telling a story that she won $500 by cheating in a poker tournament at a big family reunion. This would mean that the money she won was money that her own cousins and uncles had put into the pot.
For the sake of this example, let’s say that the guy hearing the story finds that to be behavior that’s beneath his standards. If he’s a nice guy, he’s going to ignore that and say, “Oh, that’s so cool.”
But if he’s a masculine man, he’s going to display his disapproval.
He’s going to say, “Woah, that was kind of scummy,” or challenge her with a question like, “Do you only steal from your family in games, or is this an ongoing thing?”
These statements show her that you’re not willing to tolerate that kind of behavior.
By showing her that you have standards, you communicate that you’re willing to walk away.
Dealing With Flakes
Another chance to demonstrate willingness to walk away is when a woman cancels plans.
This also applies when a woman says “maybe” and waits til the last minute to confirm plans.
Say to her, “Listen, you know what? Flakiness is a real turn off to me. It was cool hanging out with you and all, but I don’t know if this is going to work out.”
Then walk away.
Don’t threaten to walk away. Actually walk away.
One of two things is going to happen:
- She’s going to think, “Good, I didn’t like that guy” – and in that case, you save yourself from wasting more time with her.
- She’s going to think, “Wow, this guy is not the pushover who’s going to take crap like the other guys,” and she’s going to chase you.
Related: 5 Traits That Make Her Chase You
Masculine Trait #2: Demonstrate Boundaries.
Boundaries are internal and external rules that you.
An example of a woman having a boundary is that she doesn’t have sex on a first date.
When a woman says that, there’s a part of you that wants her more.
As men, we want to have similar types of boundaries. This could be in our dealings with her, or it could be in our dealings with life that affect her.
Example of Personal Boundaries
I keep my phone on “do not disturb” mode all day because I’m writing and creating videos. It throws me off when I start getting texts and calls, and I risk losing focus.
Now, what would a nice guy do in my situation if he started talking to a beautiful woman?
He’d be scared that if he keeps his phone on “do not disturb,” he’s going to miss her texts and she’s not going to want him as much. He’ll put her number in his phone as a contact that is allowed to go through.
He would be shifting his boundaries.
That’s not attractive. It makes him a ready-to-tame kitten, not a tiger.
The masculine thing to do is say to her, “During the day, I keep my phone on ‘do not disturb.’ So, if I don’t reply to your text, usually I check it at lunchtime and I’ll get back to you. Don’t feel like I’m ignoring you during the day. I just don’t reply to anybody.”
Another Example of Personal Boundaries
I had a friend named Christian.
He didn’t like people walking around his house with shoes on. He used to tell everyone to take their shoes off at the door.
He used to be nervous when a woman was coming over. He was scared to tell her to take her shoes off. He was afraid that it would make him seem mean.
He would meekly think, “Eh, I’ll let her do it.
That’s more kitten behavior.
When he started actually telling women to take their shoes off at the door, he noticed that women were more attracted to him.
They respected his boundaries.
The Wake-Up Example
Let’s say you wake up at five o’clock in the morning every day to work out.
If you’re on a date, tell her, “I got to get up early tomorrow. I’m going to call it a night.”
Instead of stretching it out and spending as much time with her as possible, she’ll respect you more for sticking to your boundaries.
Women Do It, Too
One of the most attractive types of women to deal with are single moms because they have these boundaries.
They have to get home to their child. They have rules that they have to follow, which makes guys chase them.
The guy feels that he’s never the center of her attention, so he has a goal to chase after.
Most women don’t bend their boundaries for a new guy they’re meeting and it makes them more attractive.
Women “Test” Your Boundaries
Women will always try to test your boundaries.
I have friends that play golf every Sunday. When they start dating a woman, they say, “Listen, Sundays are golf day with the friends.”
Here comes the test. A woman will say, “This Sunday, my cousin’s having a party and you can come with me.”
She wants to see if you’re willing to give up golf day with your friends to go to her cousin’s party?
A lot of guys think that by giving up golf day for her, you’re showing her that you like her. This should make her happy, right?
Well, it’s counterintuitive. She may briefly be happy.
But then she’ll think, “I tamed this guy easier than I thought.”
Remember, she wants a tiger that’s hard to tame.
Masculine Trait #2: Be Willing To Say “No”
The most attractive word that you can say to a woman is “No.”
I used to work at a restaurant that hired a lot of beautiful young waitresses. The schedule worked like it did at most restaurants.
Let’s say I was scheduled to work Friday night, but I wanted to take the night off. I can go to my coworkers and say, “Hey, can you work Friday night for me?” Sometimes they say “yes,” sometimes “no.”
There was this one waiter who worked there, Frank.
Girls knew that Frank couldn’t say “no.”
They knew that if they went up to him and they flirted with him a little bit and asked, “Hey, I have to work New Year’s Eve, can you work New Year’s Eve for me?” Frank would be like, “Oh, New Year’s Eve, I have plans.”
Then she’d be like, “Oh please,” and she’d touch his leg.
The next thing you’d know, he’d be canceling his own New Years plans and signing up to work for her.
He couldn’t say “no.” He thought he was gaining points with her, but in reality, he wasn’t.
On the other hand, a girl would come up to me and be like, “Hey, Bobby, can you work New Year’s Eve?”
I’d be like, “Get the hell out of here if you think I’m working New Year’s Eve for you.” Even though I was saying “no,” they actually respected me a lot more.
Saying “No” to Female Friends
Female friends will do this from time to time, too.
If you’ve got a female friend who always knew she had power over you… and then you start dating someone else… your female friend will become more flirtatious towards you.
She’ll try to get you to not hang out with that new girl.
She’ll say, “Why don’t we go somewhere tonight?”
If you’re in love with that female friend and you’re only, so-so about the new girl, you’ll think, “I got to jump on this opportunity,” and you’ll give up the new girl.
If you do that, the female friend will lose interest in you again, because it was too easy to get what she wanted.
It’s way more powerful to say “No, I have plans tonight, but maybe another day.”
By saying “No,” you’re showing that you are comfortable in your masculinity and a girl batting her eyes is not going to change your mind.
Saying “no” Unreasonable Favors
A willingness to say “no” comes into play when you’re asked to do a favor.
Maybe you meet a new girl at a bar and she says, “I have to go do something. Can you hold my bag for a second?”
And she hands you the bag and now 20 minutes later, you’re holding her bag like an idiot.
Instead, tell her, “No, I’m not going to hold your bag. I would love to continue talking to you when you get back.”
She’s going to respect you more.
The “Guy Friend” Test
A way to determine when to say “no” to a favor is to ask yourself: would you do it for your guy friends?
If your male friend met up with you at a bar and said, “Hey buddy, can you hold my umbrella all night?”
You’d be like, “Not happening, dude.”
But if a pretty girl asks you and you hold her umbrella all night, then you’re a kitten who was tamed too easily.
You want to be able to say “no.”
Masculine Trait #4: Approval Honesty
Never use approval as a tactic to gain rapport.
What do I mean by that?
In a conversation when things are going well, you start giving approval, saying things like “That’s so cool,” and “Oh, totally.”
That’s fine in a conversation with a friend.
But don’t do it on a date with a new woman.
Throwing so much instant approval at her is going to make you seem too easy to tame.
Instead of immediately saying, “That’s so cool how you do that,” sit back and be the judge.
Say things like, “Tell me more about that,” while withholding your opinion.
Relax and let her work to impress you.
It takes a lot of time and energy to tame a tiger. The more work she has to put in to earn your approval, the more she respects you as a man.
Masculine Trait #5: Don’t Qualify Yourself
We just talked about making a woman qualify herself to you, now let’s look at the other side of that.
You don’t want to be qualifying yourself to her.
I’ve been in conversations where a girl is talking about her ex-boyfriend, and she’ll say something like, “My ex-boyfriend was so annoying. He never wanted to spend Sundays with me because he was watching football.”
And there’s always some nice guy that jumps in and says, “I would never be with somebody like that. I never watch football. My ex-girlfriend used to only want to watch this one soap opera, and it was so annoying.”
That guy will be trying to qualify himself by essentially saying, “I’m not like your ex-boyfriend.”
When you do that, it lowers your value in the woman’s eyes.
We qualify ourselves in a lot of ways, including:
- Agreeing with things she says.
- Trying to demonstrate the traits we think are going to impress her.
If she loves to travel, a “nice guy” will say, “Oh cool. I love to travel, too. I designed my schedule at work so that I can travel.”
Why are you putting that into the conversation? Because you think it’s qualifying you, especially if you know she likes to travel.
Guys do this all the time. We listen to what she’s saying, and then we try to qualify ourselves to fit into her expectations.
So do the reverse.
What a masculine guy does is he lets her fit into his expectations and he uses something called Non-Judgement Qualification to let her win him over.
Not A Power Trip
Letting her qualify herself to you is not about being more powerful than her.
It’s about being firm in what you actually like.
I like women that are very firm in what they like. I don’t want a woman that tries to impress me by pretending to like things she doesn’t like.
I don’t want a woman who’s willing to cancel plans with her friends to hang out with me.
I want a woman who has boundaries. I want a woman who’s willing to say “no” to me.
I want a woman who is willing to walk away.
I’m not going to respect a woman if I can treat her like crap and she sticks around.
This is not about dominating a woman.
This is about your own internal way of treating yourself as being somebody that she should respect as much as you respect her.
One of the tactics I tell guys to do is disqualify yourself.
If a woman is saying something like, “Oh man, I can’t date guys that are messy,” and you’re a messy person, say, “Well then you got to cross me off that list, because I’m a slob.”
Maybe she talks about selfish people, Tell her, “I’ll admit I’m the most selfish person in the world.”
Maybe she’s an extreme feminist. If that’s not the way you really think, be ready to tell her, “Oh man, I’m totally old school. I want a wife who, when I come home, she’s got dinner on the table and massages my feet.”
You’re disqualifying yourself if she’s saying that’s not the life she wants.
The “nice guy” tends to think, “Oh no, I’m disqualifying myself. I’m taking myself out of the game.”
But really, you’ve just become way more interesting to the woman, because you’re not qualifying yourself.
You’re not afraid to lose her approval.
Plus you’re going to be combining that with all the other masculine traits.
- 3 Ways to Regain the “Upper Hand” with a Girl
- The Secret Psychology of Ignoring a Girl
- 5 Ways to Get a Younger Woman’s Attention
The Masculine Vibe is the Secret to “Chemistry”
Recap of 5 Ways to Create a “Masculine Vibe”
To project masculinity, you’ll want to:
- Be willing to walk away
- Demonstrate boundaries
- Be willing to say “no”
- Display approval honesty
- Don’t qualify yourself
That’s really what being masculine is all about.
The Next Step
To help you determine, “Am I too much of a nice guy? Am I being masculine enough?” I created a multiple-choice quiz that you can take.
It’s 10 questions long, and it walks you through common situations where you’re with a woman or thinking about a woman. It asks you to be honest and answer: how would you react?
It gives you a score at the end and lets you know where you’re doing good and where you might be making these nice guy mistakes that are scaring women away. It will tell you where you have room for improvement.
Take the quiz by clicking the link below.