Dating> Attraction > Passing Girls Tests
by Bobby Rio • Updated: August 20, 2022
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- Do Not Do THIS When a Girl “Pulls Away”
- Are You a “Romantic Challenge” or Too Easy?
How to Pass a Girl’s Tests
In this article, I’m going to be talking about how to pass a girl’s “tests.”
Because whether you realize it or not, every time you’re dealing with a girl, you’re being TESTED. Whether it’s a conversation or whether it’s over a period of a blossoming relationship, she’s going to be testing you.
- 1 How to Pass a Girl’s Tests
- 2 3 Reasons a Girl Will “Test You”
- 3 Reason#1: You’re Trying to Hard
- 4 Reason #2: You’re Giving Off “Needy” or “Clingy” Vibes
- 5 Reason #3: You’re Acting “Too Cool”
- 6 When She “Pulls Back” its a TEST
- 7 How to Handle These “Tests”
- 8 Standard “Tests” Women Use:
- 9 The Test Formula: Agree and amplify
- 10 Become the “High Value” Man
3 Reasons a Girl Will “Test You”
There’s several reasons why girl’s test you, and that’s what we’re going to talk about today.
Reason#1: You’re Trying to Hard
The first reason that a girl will test you is because you’re trying “too hard.” And this makes her feel that maybe you’re not being “yourself” around her.
Maybe you’re putting on this “nice guy” act.
No matter how much you feel like you’re being yourself and no matter how comfortable you feel in the situation, you probably have given a couple signals off to a woman that you’re putting on an act.
Red Flags she notices
- Maybe you’re acting a little more confident than you usually would
- little bit more shy than you usually would
- little bit funnier
- or some aspect of your personality gets a little exaggerated.
And it sends a red flag up that maybe this guy isn’t exactly the person he’s portraying himself as.
And once that happens, she will test you.
See, a lot of guys wonder why does it seem like women like jerks or why do women like bad boys, right?
A lot of it is because these guys naturally pass her tests.
The reason they do is because they’re not really trying to impress her.
They’re a little bit more honest in their actions.
Why Women Find “Jerks” Attractive
A lot of guys go, “Oh I don’t want to have to be an jerk and be a fake”
They don’t realize that by being the “nice guy” you’re actually being more dishonest then these guys are.
These guys are being real and she picks up on that.
Now she can let her guard down because she’s like this guy’s not really trying to impress me.
Something clicks in her mind and she’s like maybe I should be paying a little bit more attention to this guy.
What I want you to do is I want you to think real quick about a guy that you know. Maybe it’s yourself, who on the surface he’s good looking.
He’s kind of cool, he’s funny, he dresses good.
He does get some girls here and there, but never the girl he really wants.
You really can’t figure it out. You go, “What’s his flaw?”
I could almost guarantee it’s because he’s giving off a vibe that makes girls test him even more, and he’s not passing these tests.
Reason #2: You’re Giving Off “Needy” or “Clingy” Vibes
The second reason a girl will test you is because she senses that you might get clingy or needy if she hooks up with you.
This is something that I think is every girls worst nightmare.
If you have any female friends or even past girlfriends and you’ve spoken to them, they will have stories about guys like this.
In act, one of my favorite things to talk about with girls is bringing up funny “dating stories”, “dating blooper” stories. Often the girls will have horrible dates or horrible experiences with guys that they went on dates with.
It’s usually because the guy got “super needy” or “super clingy”, and he almost goes into almost stalker mode. When a girl’s living though that I’m sure it’s horrific.
And you don’t want to be the guy who’s giving girls these horrific, needy experiences.
This is why it’s not a bad idea to bring it up in almost a “preemptive way”.
Even a comment like, “You’re not going to become one of those ‘stalker girls’ and if we go on a date you’re going to be showing up at my work?”
By saying that you’re acknowledging I’ve dealt with it and I’m not that kind of guy.
You’re saying that to her and it’s a preemptive move which I think is really, really good.
Reason #3: You’re Acting “Too Cool”
Let’s talk about the last one.
I’m going to admit that I’ve been really guilty of this one.
That’s when you’re trying too hard to be cool. So she starts trying to sense if there’s any so called chinks in your armor.
You’re coming across almost like you’re too cool, and she’s like “is this guy for real?”
Is he really this confident? She wants to know.
To me, when I was learning some of this stuff, I knew I had to be more confident and I knew that I had to project this carefree vibe, but at the time years ago it wasn’t real.
It was fake.
Girls would throw a simple comment out there and I would crumble, crumble.
Everything, my whole façade would just crumble because she would say something that through my game off.
Example of how a girl will test you
For instance, I had one girl and we’re flirting and she goes, “I’m not going to hook up with you tonight.”
All of a sudden I did not know how to react to that.
She looked at me and I started back pedaling and everything that I had going for me was gone with that one comment.
It’s that moment where you falter.
That’s when you get tested. It’s like boom! It’s almost like she can hear that thought in your head and she’s like, “Oh time to test this guy because I don’t think this is the way he really is.”
It happened to me all the time when I was trying to be too cool. As soon as a girl started realizing this might not be the guy he really is, I would get locked out.
You’ll get comments like:
- “I’m not hooking up with you,”
- “Do you say this to all the girls?”
- “Are you a player?” (in a mock tone)
Some comment that really now, when I think back on it, it’s ridiculous and I laugh over it because I realize I was being tested. But at the time I just felt like she just pulled all the wind out of my sails.
I just went into this tailspin where I would just try to back pedal and I would try to validate myself or tried harder to prove why I was THAT guy.
Which would just make it so much worse, and of course I would lose the girl.
Girls do this whether it’s in an initial conversation where she’s flirting with you and she’s trying to feel you out.
They also do it a lot when there’s a courtship going on.
When you’ve got her number.
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When She “Pulls Back” its a TEST
Maybe you’ve gone a date, and you’re trying to move things towards a relationship if that’s what you’re after.
And having coached men now for over 11 years.
What I’ve found is there’s almost always a moment where the girl “pulls back”.
All of a sudden she was answering all your texts really fast and then boom, two days have gone by, she still hasn’t replied to a text.
Or maybe she was always available to hang out. Every time you asked her to hang out it was like, “Oh yeah, definitely.” “Oh yeah I‘m free, I’m free.”
Then all of a sudden now she’s like, “Oh I can’t.”
And this is almost always because she realized you’re not as cool she thought you were. When she met you, she saw you as ‘high value’ but something happened, and now she sees you as having much lower value.
How to Handle These “Tests”
What’s the right attitude for responding to a “shit test?”
How should you respond when a girl throws one at you?
This is a question I get a lot when I’m working with one of my private coaching clients.
- “Should I appear angry?”
- “Should I laugh it off”
Let me say this. Stop worrying about shit tests. And learn to LOVE THEM.
I love shit tests.
I LOVE THEM.
And here’s why you should to.
They are an easy opportunity to display VALUE.
Once you understand how to respond to them, it’s like a girl lobs a softball at you, and gives you the opportunity to knock it over the fence.
One of the 7 mindsets that all player’s share is something I call “being comfortable in the grey area.”
The grey area is when you’re not sure if she’s attracted to you.
And a “shit test” is a sure sign you’re in the grey area.
It’s a signal that she’s not sure sure if she’s attracted to you either. You wants to know if you’re “for real.”
First let’s define a “shit test” again.
It’s basically when a girl messes with you, accuses you of something, or subtly insults you.
Standard “Tests” Women Use:
Here are a few of the common things women say that are her way of “testing” you.
- “Aww, are you upset?!”
- “You’re such a player aren’t you?!”
- “I’m not going to sleep with you.”
- “I have a boyfriend”
- “Can we be – just friends?”
- “Hold my bag for me!”
As you may have noticed from the repertoire of woman’s standard run-of-the-mill shit tests, they are incredibly fixated on discerning whether or not you are a beta (guy who doesn’t get laid much, if at all.)
Ok, so first let’s discuss how NOT to respond to a shit test.
How to FAIL a shit test 101: Let her see you stumble.
If you struggle to respond, go uncomfortably silent, get noticeably embarrassed or upset, or immediately try to defend yourself.
You have just failed the test.
So say you’re flirting with a girl at a party, and she looks at you and says “I’m not having sex with you.”
And you’re thrown back, don’t know what to say, and then finally, lamely say “We’re just talking, I’m not trying to have sex with you.”
Her attraction for you just went from maybe 7 to 4.
So how should you have responded?
There are a handful of ways to pass shit tests, but a very simple framework to remember that will help you pass almost any shit test is:
The Test Formula: Agree and amplify
She says: “I’m not having sexy with you.”
You say: “Yea, totally not. We’ll just cuddle on the couch and watch Titanic.”
She says: “Are using using pickup lines on me?”
You say: “Yea and that was my most powerful one. Girls usually drop to the ground and start begging to be my girlfriend the minute I say it.”
She says: (when you ask for her number) “Sure, but can we be- just friend?”
You say: “Sure, And you can listen to all my problems, give me rides to the airport, set me up with your friends.. even though you’re secretly in love with me and waiting for me to finally realize it.”
Ok, when you respond in the ways above, a girl’s attraction for you might have been a 5 but then it jumped to a 7.
This is why being “comfortable in the grey area” is one of the most important mindsets to have.
Because instead of worrying about whether or not she’s attracted to you, you can just focus on continuing to move the needle towards attraction, one shit test at a time.