10 Rules of Texting a Girl

Dating > Texting > Texting Rules
by Jon Sinn • Updated: August 31, 2022

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Texting Rules You MUST Follow

Jon Sinn here, and in this article I want to share 10 texting rules for dealing with women.  Any time you’re not sure what to text a girl, I suggest reviewing these texting rules.

While there are times you can deviate from these rules, its better to follow them 80% of the time.

Texting Rule #1:Never send multiple text messages WITHOUT a response.

This is one of the most misunderstood rules about texting out there. It is a good thing to exchange a ton of text messages wit girls. It’s fun, it builds a sense of conspiracy into the interaction, and it helps to make the girl comfortable enough to meet up with you or at least talk on the phone.

So you’re moving up the intimacy scale as well.

But there is a problem, if you are not getting responses to EVERY text you send and you keep sending them.

That’s called being needy.

Burn this rule into your brain: Never send more than one form of communication to a girl without getting a response.    However, as a last ditch effort,  here’s something to text a girl that didn’t respond.

Texting Rule #2# Use as many words as you can.

I have literally convinced girls to fly across the country to meet me in text message conversations. This idea that it is in some way high value to keep your communication brief, only applies if you don’t know what you’re doing.

If you have a solid understanding of flirting humor, open loops and sexual escalation, the more words you have the better.

The only exception to this comes when she is obviously giving one or two word terse responses. In that case you want to respond in kind.

Texting Rule #3: The 15 Minute Rule

In general you always want to take 15 minutes or so longer to text a girl back, then she took to text you. So for example if you text her at 7:30 and she doesn’t text you back until 8:15 you should wait until 9:15 to text her back.

This rule doesn’t apply if she is texting back in 15 minutes or less, in that case you should text back in around the same amount of time.

Texting Rule #4: Use Emoticons sparingly to heighten their effectiveness.

Most guys use emoticons completely the wrong way. There are 3 general emoticons you want to use in specifics ways. 🙂 is a smiley face and should be used when giving compliments or trying to convey happiness.

Don’t worry when we get to the real life breakdowns, I’ll give notes on when and how I’m using these emoticons.

😉 is a winky. Winkies are used to show girls you’re teasing or to lace a conversation with sexual innuendo.

Lastly we have tongues :p. These are used when you are obviously teasing the girl or messing with her.

These can also be tacked on to role-plays to make sure the girls know you’re not actually asking her on a romantic date to The Sizzler.

Texting Rule #5: Don’t be afraid to be random.

This is a huge problem most guys have. They treat text as a very business like formal place.

So they’ll send text messages like  “How was your day?” or  “What are you doing tonight?”. We want to avoid stuff like this like the plague, unless it is part of a back and forth dialogue.

Instead you want to be creative.

A few texts I like are:

  • I’m in line at the (wherever) and I want to know if you can actually die of boredom
  • Stop thinking about me, my ears are burning
  • I was just at the ( random place Aquarium, Grocery Store, Sex Shoppe if you’re brave ) and in a weird way it made me think of you.

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Texting Rule #6: Always give girls tasks.

This is both a great way to build momentum and set roles. You can make these tasks something simple, like asking them if they know a good Chinese food restaurant in a specific town. Then you can escalate them by asking them to send you sweet or sexy text messages.

It is vital that you get the girl doing things for you through text.

Texting Rule #7: I want to tease them sexually.

This is where I have a lot of power. I want to make sure that every time the text messages turn sexual, I am the first one to end it.

That way I can keep setting sexual frames, such as her being sexually aggressive, and I don’t weird her out. Role-plays and humor are the most effective ways to tease women sexually. You want to make sure these are a part of your text repertoire.

Texting Rule #8: Always alternate hot and cold.

This is one of the main rhythms of text messaging. You are going to be constantly balancing out three things, compliments, sexual comments and releases. This is how we escalate the interactions.

Alternating hot and cold statements allows the woman to get more comfortable being hit on or aroused sexually. You want to try to draw the release out as far as possible to preserve the sexual tension.

Texting Rule #9: Be aware of logistics.

You can use text messaging to find out where she lives in relation to you, and with whom. You can also use it to give her directions when she’s coming to meet up. Often times I will just text girls and tell them I’m coming to their place and ask for their address.

Texting Rule #10: Know when to move up the ladder.

If you are serious about getting the girl out, it is always a better idea to go for the meet up over the phone. As soon as it becomes obvious the two of you are going to hang out, make sure you get a 15-30 minute comfort building call in where you actually handle logistics.

Watch Live Demonstration of “Sexual Ladder” Technique

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