Texting a Girl in a Way That Makes Her Want You More

Dating › Texting a Girl Guide
by Bobby Rio • Updated: September 10, 2023

what to text a girl

Texting a Girl Explained

Since text messaging is a relatively new phenomenon, most of us have never been taught the secrets to texting girls. Because of this, many guys completely blow it when it comes to texting a girl.

A lot of guys assume that the reason a woman loses interest after an initial meetup is because she didn’t like him.  But often the case is that he did not keep the woman interested over text messaging. Texting women is a skill that anyone can learn.  But like all skills, it takes knowledge, application, and refinement.

Now in order to figure out what kind of text messages attract a woman and keep her interested, you must first understand what text messaging should be used for.

The 2023 Texting Guide

The Texting Basics:

Flirting with Girls Over Text:

Handing Things Over Text:

Common Questions About Texting Girls

What are Some Examples of Texts to Send a Girl?

What is the main purpose of a text?

Generally, you are going to be texting a girl for one three reasons:

  1. First Text to Send After Getting Number
  2. Flirting and Creating More Attraction
  3. Asking Her Out Over Text

What are the Big Mistakes Texting a Woman?

Before we get into some of the skills you’re going to need to learn when texting girls, I want to talk about some of the big mistakes men make.

If you can overcome these mistakes, it will be a lot easier for you have success texting girls.

Texting Mistake #1: Sending a boring text that serves no purpose.

Texts like these include; “How’s it going?”  or “What’s up?” Text messages like these DO NOT differentiate you from the dozens of other men that are also texting your girl.

Texting Mistake #2: Texting a girl too often.

Text messages should be used sparingly in order to create intrigue, suspense, and arousal. If you are texting girls all the time, they will no longer look forward to your text messages.

Texting Mistake #3: Attempting to have a conversation over text message.

Texting is not the way to get to know a girl.

Some other big mistakes texting girls:

  • Always responding too quickly and seeming over eager
  • Trying too hard to get her approval
  • Letting the woman control the flow of texting (ie. She always ends the back and forth flow)

How to Text a Girl When Pre-dating?

Before you’ve had your first date with a girl, she won’t feel much of a connection to you.

As unfortunate as it may be, you’re probably not the only guy texting her.

You can be, however, the only guy who is texting her intelligently.

See, a common mistake most guys make when they’re texting a girl is that they mistake responses for attraction.

Often when a guy is getting a response from a girl, he believes that he’s getting closer to getting her on a date or to seducing her.

The exact opposite is true!

The more texts you send before meeting up with girl means the less of a chance you have of actually meeting up with her!

That’s right: even if a girl is RESPONDING to your texts, you’re not getting yourself ANY closer to actually getting her out on a date.

When Texting a Girl, Say More with Less

Whenever you’re considering what to text a girl, see if you say it simpler, with less text.

Most guys send pointless texts to women like, “How’s your day?” or “Enjoying the warm weather?”

These texts DO NOT bring you ANY closer to a woman!

They just beg for a response (which doesn’t mean anything).

To make sure you NEVER again waste texts on pointless chatter…

Ask yourself this golden question:

How is this text bringing this girl and I closer to a date?

If your answer is simply “to get her to know her better,” erase the text. It?s not going to help you.

See Also: 15 Texts She Sends and What They Really Mean

How to Text a Girl: Dating

Let’s say that you’ve now succeeded in setting up a date with a girl.

You may think you’re home free when it comes to texting, but there’s still some things you need to keep in mind to ensure you CONTINUE to see your girls.

First, you never want to fall into predictable patterns.

Lots of guys use the same jokes, same questions, and same texts over and over. While it may be easier to fall into “complacency” with a woman you’re dating, don’t do it!

Instead, break things up with some spicy ever once in a while.

Examples of How to Spice Up Your Texts

  • Tell her you have a “surprise” to show her later.
  • Tell her something reminded you of her, but don’t tell her what it is right away.
  • Ask her to send you a funny picture of something (or send her a funny picture of something).

Keep her guessing what your text will be and you’ll keep her interested in you. Moreover, keeping the “spark” of a relationship alive is very important when it comes to creating a great sex life.

As long as you don’t become ultra predictable, you should have your girl texting YOU asking YOU when you?re available to hang out.

See Also: #1 Way to Charm Any Girl (and Keep Her Into You)

How to Text a Girl: Post-Dating

It happens to the best of us: we break up with a girl and wonder how we’re going to get her back.

Now, obviously, the best attempts at getting an ex back happen away from the phone in (gasp!) real life! But when you have no other options, text is not the worst way to go about things.

The cardinal rule of texting an ex is never, ever beg or sound upset or sad. As such, avoid texting your ex when drunk or upset. In fact, the best times to text your ex are the exact opposite of those times: when you’re out having fun!

Now, this isn’t to say that you should try to brag or rub your good times in your ex’s face.

But you should convey the impression that you’re enjoying your life with or without her. This way, she’ll be more inclined to reconsider her decision not to be with you.

Getting your ex back over text is an grueling ordeal, but keeping these pointers in mind can get the ball rolling!

See Also: 7 Ways to Make a Girl Miss You

How to Flirt Over Text?

Every text message you send should have some elements of flirtatiousness.

You should not send a text that doesn’t at least demonstrate a fun side of your personality.

During the first few text messages you are just trying to demonstrate that you know how to have fun and be social around women.

Your text messages should always give off the impression that you live a fun and exciting life.  And you’re not sitting and planning the perfect text to send her.

Keep it light and fun, then jump into serious stuff, and then back to being light and fun.

The idea is to banter back and forth and leave the interaction on a high note, by either not responding back, or by ending it with a text like “see you later?”

It is also important to express bits and pieces of your personality in these texts, and avoid being boring at all costs.

This means you avoid saying things like “I’m bored,” or if she ask what you’re doing answering “Nothing really.”

Instead answer by being interesting, mysterious, and challenging.

See Also: Cocky and Funny Flirting Over Text

Three Rules to Text Flirting

Rule #1: Every Text Should Give Value, Never Take It

Look in your cell phone ‘sent’ texts and see how many times you texted a girl a message like “what you doing?” or “How’s it going?”

Now delete those messages, and promise yourself from now on when you’re texting girls you will never send these boring messages.

These messages do nothing to display any of your personality, and they completely put the woman on the spot to keep the interaction going.

You’re giving her control.

And since a hot woman is probably getting dozens of these messages from different men every day, they begin to annoy her.

Every text message you send should provide some value to the woman receiving it.

It should also include elements of your unique personality. (7 example texts here)

A much more flirtatious text to send a woman would be something like

  • “Stop thinking about me!” or
  • “You just popped in my head and I just wanted to say hi”

These messages don’t put the burden of response on her. But they make her want to respond to your texts.

Remember, every text should give value.

Rule #2: Keep it Short, Fun and Playful when texting a girl

Texting girls is not the time to really try to get to know someone.

Instead, think of it is a chance to give a woman a “sneak preview” version of what you’re like as man.

Give her a “movie trailer” version of your personality, humor, and playfulness.

And flirt, damn it.

When you’re texting a girl use the same flirty attitude you would in person.

This means tease, banter, and get her laughing.

Make her smile.

Make her look forward to getting a text from you.

If you’ve just met a girl out a bar and you plan on sending her a text the next day, avoid messages like “Hey, it’s Bobby, it was cool meeting you the other night. What are you doing?”

Again, here’s examples of better texts to send.

Instead, start the interaction off with something flirty and fun, that gives her a “movie trailer” sneak peak of your personality.

So a much better message for texting a woman would be:

  • “Do you speak text?”
  • “Or Is it too soon for casual text? I mean, I just met you. Maybe we should wait!?”

Can you see how much more interesting and fun it would be for her to get one of those texts?

Rule #3:  Amplify Tension and Suspense when texting girls

Have you ever texted a girl and she didn’t text you back for a couple hours?

What did you think about during that time you were waiting for her to respond back?

You were probably thinking about HER.

You must, at times, build suspense when texting girls. It creates the roller coaster effect in your messages.? You want to be unpredictable, sometimes vague, and leave her wondering.

So if you normally message a girl back a few minutes after she texts you? every fourth time wait twenty to sixty minutes to text her back.? On occasion wait till the next day.

This gives her time to think about you in her mind.?? It lets her experience the thrill of waiting for your next message. This is one of the most important things to remember when texting a girl.

Other Guides:

What to Text Girls?

During your first couple of texts you’re not looking to set up a meeting.

Like I said earlier, you are just looking to show her that you’re a flirty and playful guy.

So your first few texts should be sent to show this aspect of your personality, and also, to see if she is someone that you have any sort of connection with.

Remember, the purpose of texting a girl is to flirt, create a little connection, and get the girl thinking about you.

You want to make her feel like she is “missing out” by not being with you, and don’t answer every question they ask.

Keep your texts short as possible, sometimes vague, but filled with personality.

For instance, if you’re just texting to keep in touch with a woman you could text something like:

  • “I just got the most fly pair of jeans ever for $12. I’m pumped”

And another important thing to do is to assume rapport. This means that you jump right into texting girls without explaining every aspect of your life.

  • “My puppy is ridiculous”

So if you’re texting a girl for the first time you can message something like:

  • “Hey what’s up dork?”

See also:

How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text