12 Signs She’s Just NOT Into You

Dating> Signs > She is not into you
by Bobby Rio • Updated: August 31, 2022

See Also

signs a girl is not into you

How to Know if a Girl is Leading You On

This weekend I finally saw the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. The movie, which is based on a book of the same name, simplifies the whole dating process. The entire premise of the movie is that either someone is into you, or they’re not. And their actions speak a whole lot more than their words.

While the book was marketed to, and devoured by women out there, the principles behind the book apply just as equally to men. As men, the more we are into a woman, the more we allow ourselves to rationalize her flaky, rude, or indifferent behavior.

The book contains about 11 rules to know whether or not a man is into a woman. While pretty much all the rules can just as easily be applied to telling whether a woman is into you… I am going to focus on the 12 most common signs a girl is not into you.

#1 Way to Tell if She’s Into You or Not

We’re going to first start with the signs you should look for whenever you’re dating a girl and wondering if it will move forward. These first five signs tell you that its most likely time to walk away from her.

Signs a Girl is Not Into You #1: She Won’t Go Out With You…

If a woman wants to get to know you better, she will make time to see you. PERIOD.

If you’ve asked a girl to hang out on several occasions and she always tends to be busy with work, school, or says something like “I’ve got a lot going on this week, maybe next week”… toss her number away she isn’t into you.

It is very simple. If a woman really has something important to do, or is really busy she will suggest another date immediately. She’ll suggest the soonest possible day she’s available. If a girl really likes you she is not going to risk losing you…

Signs a Girl is Not Into You #2:  If She’s Not Calling You…

If a woman wants to see you she will return your calls. She will answers your texts quickly. And she will generally make herself available to you.

When we’re into a girl we try to rationalize her not calling every way we possibly can. We convince ourselves she didn’t get the message. We wonder if maybe she lost her phone. Or she’s out of town. Or maybe she did call back BUT our phone is broken…

Or worse, we start to over analyze and we convince ourselves that she’s “playing the game.”

I’m going to break it down for you very simply. We know the game. We’ve read the websites, ebooks, and listened to the audio programs… and when we like a girl, most of the time we can’t help ourselves to call.

Yes, the experienced girls might wait a few hours, or even a day to call back… but if she hasn’t called you back in over a day, she isn’t calling. If you call her and she sends you a text back that says “whats up” she’s not into you.

Signs a Girl is Not Into You #3:  She’s Not Dating You…

If you’ve been seeing a girl for awhile but she doesn’t want thing to “get serious” because she’s busy, or not ready for a relationship, or just getting over someone… What this really means is that she’s doesn’t want a relationship with you.

If a woman is into you she is going to want to tie you up. She will want to make sure you’re hers. She will not be fine with you dating other girls. She will want something exclusive. She won’t want you sleeping with anyone else, and she’ll lose her desire to sleep with other men. If she’s not pushing for exclusivity now… she won’t be pushing for it with you in three months from now.

Trust me, the same woman who strings you along saying “I’m not ready for a relationship” will be practically married to a different guy a few months after you end it.

Signs a Girl is Not Into You #4: She’s Not Having Sex With You…

A year or so after a my ex girlfriend Beth broke up with me, she started calling again. I was happy because I thought I won her back. The first night we hung out we had sex. But that was the last time we had sex.

After that time she kept saying “I want to take it slow,” or “Lets not rush things.” After a month of hanging out without sex I got curious as to why she even started calling me again. I asked a few friends, and quickly found out that she had just caught her current boyfriend cheating. I was her comfort pillow. I was the guy who was there to make her feel better about losing the guy she really wanted to be sleeping with.

If a girl is into you… she’ll have sex with you. Lots of sex.

If she’s avoiding sex (especially after you’ve already had it before) its because she’d rather be sleeping with someone else. PERIOD.

Signs a Girl is Not Into You #5: She’s Breaking Up With You..

This one seems obvious on the surface. But faced with the breakup, how many of us get “the sickness” and convince ourselves that we have to do everything possible to get her back.

I know that the two times I’ve been on the losing end of a breakup I convinced myself it was me, that I had to prove my love, that I did something wrong… And I quickly learned that the more you try to prove your love to them… the more you drive them away.

Sure, with proper training you can change her mind and you can get her back… but if she was that into you in the first place she wouldn’t have left.

There are too many girls out there who will genuinely be interested and into you to waste your time with girls who repeatedly blow you off, hold out on sex, refuse to get serious, or avoid seeing you.

And yes, one of your buddies will always have a story about some guy who called a girl twenty times before she agreed to go out with him… and now they’re married. But remember, those are the exceptions, not the rules.

See Also

Avoid THESE 5 Mistakes When a Woman “Pulls Away”

Signs She’s Not Interested When You First Approach Her

The next group of signs are what you should be looking out for whenever you first approach a girl.  You’ll notice these within the first few minutes of talking to her, or the first few minutes of a date.

Because you also want to be aware of the signals a woman will give to a man who she is clearly not interested in even getting to know in the first place.  If you can learn to quickly recognize these signals you can avoid wasting time with a woman who will only eventually reject you or flake on you.

Remember, nothing is set in stone. And it is possible to win over a woman who is initially giving you some of the signals below. That being said, if you’re looking for the path with the least resistance here are some signs that there is a tough road ahead.

Disinterest Sign #6: She complains that she’s tired

When we meet someone we might be interested in, our energy levels tend to spike. We get a second wind that lifts us up and makes us completely forget the fact that we’re tired, hungover, or in a bad mood. And even if we’re feeling any of those things, we do our best to hide it.

If a woman continues to point out that she’s tired or in a bad mood, it is probably just her way of hinting to you that she doesn’t want to keep talking to you. Women who complain about anything have a way of sucking the energy out of a conversation and should be avoided if possible.

Disinterest Sign #7: She never asks you your name

Here is a rule of thumb, if a woman is interested in you at some point she’ll ask you your name. Simple as that.

Women are very conscious of avoiding awkward situations, and if she is really interested in you the last thing she wants is a potential situation later on where she has to admit that she doesn’t even know your name.

Because of this, if a woman is hoping to talk to you for awhile, she’ll go out of her way to find out your name.

If it’s more than 10 minutes into a conversation and you haven’t told a woman your name and she hasn’t asked, it’s a pretty good sign that she is waiting for the conversation to end.

Disinterest Sign #8: She brings up her boyfriend soon into the conversation

A lot of guys would think this is obvious. But it’s not. If a girl is enjoying your company and likes you, she will avoid telling you she has a boyfriend as long as humanly possible.

In fact, if a girl waits until you’ve asked for her number or gone for the kiss to tell you she has a boyfriend, it’s probably because she liked you too much to admit she had a boyfriend sooner. But if she starts talking about her boyfriend early into a conversation, it’s her way of not-so-subtly letting you know that nothing is going to happen between you. So stop wasting your time.

Disinterest Sign #9: She tries not to make eye contact

What do you do when you’re walking down the street and you see a beggar with his hand out looking for money? Well, if you don’t want to give him any, you avoid eye contact at all costs.

Eye contact acts as encouragement for the other person to talk to you. It invites them in and says “I’m interested”.  So a woman who is deliberately avoiding eye contact, is doing everything in her power to prevent you from continuing to talk to her.

She is basically saying “I refuse to give you permission to continue.”

Disinterest Sign #10: She has closed off body language

If a girl is enjoying her conversation with you she’ll tend to loosen up. You’ll notice that she follows your lead and begin mirroring your actions and energy level. However, if a girl continues to display closed off body language even after you’ve begun to really open up to her, there is a good chance that she just isn’t as invested in the interaction as you are.

Similar to avoiding eye contact, keeping your body language closed off is another way of saying “I refuse to give you permission to continue.”

Disinterest Sign #11: She gives short one word answers

In the first couple minutes of a conversation, before a woman has had a chance to get warmed up, it’s acceptable for her to be giving you short answers and not talking too much.

But if it’s more than ten minutes into a conversation and she is still just giving you short one word answers to your questions and not prying you for more information about yourself, she probably isn’t interested in you.

If a woman wants to continue the conversation she will keep talking to prevent you from leaving. If she isn’t offering much to the conversation after ten minutes, she probably isn’t worried about you leaving. Which is a good sign you should leave.

Disinterest Sign #12: She is giving her friend the “help me” eyes

Women have a way of communicating “help me” to their friends. Many of them are actually pretty blatant about begging to be saved. Yet, I’m amazed at how many guys miss these clues.

If you’re talking to a woman and her friends are around, pay attention to the subtle signals they are giving each other. If they are rolling their eyes or giving the “help me” eyes  you should probably find a better prospect.

These are seven of the biggest indicators of disinterest.

As I said earlier, just because you’re getting one of these does not confirm she is not interested. But if you’re getting more than one of these, it is a pretty good sign things are not going anywhere.

This is why it’s important to realize that you are immediately giving off one of four potential vibes when you’re talking to a girl.

See Also