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“What Do I Talk About” Syndrome
Let’s face it: The biggest battle most men face while trying to attract a beautiful woman is coming up with good topics for conversation.
It seems that everyone wants to know:
- What do I talk about?
- What type of topics of conversation create rapport?
- Which topics make it easy to flirt?
- Which topics spark attraction?
- What topics introduce sexuality?
Examples of Boring and Safe Conversation Topics
Boring or “safe: topics include:
- Your jobs – What do you do for a living? Do you like it?
- Your schools – Where did you go to college? Did you like it?
- Your hometowns – Are you from around here? Do you like it?
- The location – Do you come here often? It’s a cool place
- Do you have any siblings?
As you can see, any of the topics listed above will very UNLIKELY lead to attraction.
This is something critically important for you to know, because if you spend too much time about boring, “safe”, or cheesy topics she’ll likely start zoning you out, and eventually she’ll end the conversation.
Avoid “Interview Mode”
Interview mode usually stems from guys having no clue what to say next. So they revert to asking boring “fact based” questions about the woman’s job, hometown, or family. And the entire conversation feels like a job interview for the both of you.
If you’ve been stuck in this type of conversation, you probably realize that “interview mode” never leads to attraction.
Having a repertoire of topics that you can unleash at any moment allows you to remain in control of the conversation.
But ultimately the most important reason to have pocket full of “sexy topics” you can whip out at any time is that it will provide you with a level of “conversational confidence” that will power you talk to a lot more women.
You also want to have a variety of topics at your disposal to talk about. Because if not, you run the risk of spending too much time dwelling on one topic, as vividly detailed in The Small Talk Tactics Report. If you read that report you already know the danger of not shifting topics.
What Traits Make for the Best Conversation Topics
Not all topics are created equal. And most will just bore her silly.
She doesn’t want to hear about your job. She doesn’t care about how long you’ve lived in your current city. And if one more guys asks her “Do you come here often?”, she will probably scream.
So what are some traits of topics that she DOES want to talk about?
And more importantly, what are the traits of topics that will lead you to your desired outcome: ATTRACTION.
There are six main traits that all of the best conversation topics possess.
Trait #1: A good conversation topic should build rapport.
This means that the topic will allow you and the woman to relate to each other on some level. It will give you an opportunity to build trust, and foster a connection with her and create rapport.
Once a woman finds that you have some level of connection with her, she will let her guard down and be much more open to continuing the conversation.
Trait #2: The conversation topic should create an “emotional state”
Most of us walk around in what I refer to as “a boredom trance.”
The daily grind keeps us void of any real emotions. So we hunger for emotions.
This is why the entertainment industry is a multi-billion dollar a year business. It satisfies our craving for an emotional state.
If you choose topics that ignite these lost or repressed “positive emotions”, the woman you are talking to will be putty in your hands. Because she’ll associate those emotions with you.
Trait #3: A good topic should make you three dimensional.
When a woman meets you she has trouble differentiating you from the hundreds of other hound dogs who have approached her over her life. It is easier for her to group you in with all of them and reject you.
This is why it is important that you immediately introduce topics that will create a unique identity for you.
It is even more powerful to add some contradictions to your identity. (You are an intellectual thinker, who also is an MMA fighter.)
This will not only make you unpredictable, but it will allow her to imagine herself having fun with you in different types of scenarios.
Trait #4: The topic should provide hooks to keep a conversation going
Ultimately you want to get her to open up to you, express her emotions, and become invested in the conversation.
The best way to do this is provide hooks for you to chime in.
This means that a good topic acts as “bait” to hook her into becoming more emotionally involved in the conversation.
Trait #5: A good topic allows you to display your “attractive qualities.”
There are certain characteristics that women universally find attractive.
These characteristics include:
- Being pre-selected by other women
- Social proof
- Leader of men
The more of these characteristics the topic allows you to display, the better.
Trait #6: The topic should lead the conversation to sexuality
If your goal is to create “sexual attraction” in a woman, then ultimately you need to begin to build sexual tension. And the topics of your conversation must allow you to do this.
This means that a good topic should be visceral; it should lend itself to touching, and should produce an undercurrent of sexuality.
Based on these six criteria I’m sure some good conversation topics are beginning to pop into your head.
4 Examples of Best Conversation Topics for Flirting
I have dozens of different topics that I recommend my clients use in conversations with women. But I want to share four of my favorite conversation topics that allow me to move a conversation forward.
Topic #1 Glorified Gossip
These are topics that involve drama or allow a woman to express her opinion on something slightly “scandalous”.
An example is asking a woman “Does it count if you say I love while you’re drunk?” And then getting her opinion on it and sharing stories around it.
Other types include:
- Stories about ‘bad dates’,
- Interesting/Funny drama of your friend’s lives
- Getting her opinion on something like “is kissing cheating”
Here’s a hint, these conversation topics make some of the best opening lines too.
Topic #2: Early Childhood Memories
Early child memories are great because they invoke strong emotions. They also fulfill the requirement of making her feel like she’s really getting to know you.
For instance, back in the 5th great I went to a “sleep away camp” that was a total nightmare experience. However, it makes for a very entertaining anecdote to tell a woman on a date. Because in hindsight I can laugh at how funny it all was.
- Any vivid stories or memories you had as a child
- Questions that get her recounting one of her humorous childhood experiences
- Can talk about things like first “crush”, first kiss, and various topics like that
Topic #3: Future Ambitions
When you talk about your future ambitions with a woman it gives her a sense of the man you want to become. But what is really great about this topic is that when she shares her future ambitions with you, it connects her to you.
She’ll feel a deep sense of connection when she reveals to you her future dreams.
This topic is great because most people love talking about, but we’re very rarely asked these types of questions.
- What’s the most important thing you want to accomplish
- Where do you want to live? Travel?
- What’s on your bucket list?
Topic #4: Observations about Her
Here is a fact: the most interesting topic in the world to a woman is HERSELF.
We all love hearing observations about ourselves (as long as they are not very unflattering). When I say “observations” I am referring to letting her know your initial impression of her.
- Telling her what type of vibe she gives off
- Playfully pointing out a unique “quirk” she has
- Cold reading her
Having a list of the best conversation topics is very important, but you should also make sure that you’re weaving them in a way that is building towards attraction.
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