Dating > Attraction > If She Ignores You
by Bobby Rio • Updated: February 24, 2023
See Also
- Is She Ignoring You or Just Busy?
- The “No Contact” Rule (how to use it)
- The #1 Way to Have Power Over Girls
What to Do When a Woman Ignores You
When a girl isn’t replying to your message… or if you asked her to hang out, and she’s not getting back to you…
Or maybe a woman has just “pulled back” her interest and attention and there is something different and you start freaking out inside…
How do you handle when a woman’s ignoring you?
What can you do that she’ll never expect…
We’ve all been there, staring at our phone, that anxious feeling, wondering why she still hasn’t texted us back.
And it can be paralyzing, where nothing else seems to matter except waiting for her reply,
And then if you’re like I was…
You start analyzing what’s going on, what could have happened, what changed…
And there’s almost this feeling of I’ve got to reach out to her…
If only I can get her on the phone or get her to meet in person, I can re-create that spark, I can get her interested again…
Have you ever had that feeling? Like she’s slipping away and YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING QUICK…
Now, I work with guys all the time, and its in THIS MOMENT, that the neediness and desperation takes over…
And they send the double text, “just making sure you got my last message”
Or they just can’t help asking her if they did something wrong…
Or sometimes, they decide that a confession of feelings or a gift or flowers will somehow make it all right.
Do NOT Do This When a Woman Ignores You
Now if you’ve done any of these things you know they NEVER work…
But for a lot of guys, this uncertainty around waiting for her to reply or wondering if its over or why she’s ignoring us…
TRIGGERS them to start acting needy, it triggers an underlying desperation inside them…
And neediness, desperation, are two of the most unattractive traits that you can display….
And here’s the thing…
Neediness or Desperation NEVER Gets Her Back
There’s NOTHING you can do from a place of neediness or desperation that will ever get a woman back.
I call it being in ’emotional quicksand’, and you’re going mess up.
So what’s the anecdote.
Here it is…
You want to react in the complete OPPOSITE WAY.
And when a woman ignores you or withholds her attention from you, instead of it being a trigger for your unattractive behavior, or triggering your unattractive traits to rear their UGLY HEAD…
You want to make a shift…
And use it to REMIND YOU of the most attractive trait you can display to any woman…
And that trait is autonomy.
“THIS” Is the Definition of Confidence with Women
Autonomy means your self governing, independent, you’re on your own path.
You’re NOT controlled by anyone, you’re happiness doesn’t rely on a girl’s opinion or approval of you…
You’ve got a destination you’re heading towards, and a woman’s opinion of you or her reaction fo you, can NOT change your path, it can’t prevent you from going where you’re going.
Autonomy is the definition of confidence. Because YOU KNOW you’ll be ok no matter what.
This is the attitude we should be continually striving for…
NOT just because it makes us more attractive to women, but because it will take us further in life than any other attitude.
Now, when I work with a client, he tells me, I want to be autonomous. He’s working on it, he gets it.
But really, the only way we can PRACTICE being autonomous is when we’re placed in a situation that TESTS US.
It’s cruelly ironic, but it’s TRUE.
We Must Be “TESTES” to Be Confident
Here’s a fact of life, we NEED TO BE TESTED, for our true characteristics to come out.
Its easy to be confident and autonomous and non needy when things are going well, right?
This is why I tell clients, a lot of times, whether its consciously or unconsciously a woman will test a man by PULLING BACK to see how he responds…
Does he turn into a little butt hurt wuss when she ignores him for a day?
Does he turn into another an ass-kissing “nice guy”?
The only way she knows if a guy is really autonomous, if he’s really as confident as he’s portraying…
Here’s a valuable mindset that you want to be aware of…
Be “Antifragile” with Women
So there’s a book, called Antifragile, by Nassim Taleb, who’s sort of a philosopher on randomness, probability and uncertainty..
And the big premise of the book is:
Fragile items break under stress, antifragile items get better and stronger from it.
And that the most successful people, businesses, the most successful anything, are things that are anti fragile, things that TRRIVE on disorder, stress, and chaos.
So, what does this concept of Antifragile have to do with you?
Here’s what it means, here’s how its relates to dealign with a woman who’s ignoring you or pulling away..
You want to use this stress that she’s causing you, this uncertainty and CHAOS you’re feeling, and you want to use it to make you stronger and MORE ATTRACTIVE.
Instead of the stress of waiting for her to reach out to you triggering your neediness and desperation, USE IT TO TRIGGER AUTONOMY.
Use it as a reminder to get back on your path, to do something that moves you towards your bigger goal in life.
Do SOMETHING That Makes You More Attractive
And don’t just be reminded of it, DO SOMETHING that makes you stronger…
Take a RISK with another girl, take a chance… turn to another woman you see and start a random conversation…
And REMIND YOURSELF that if it doesn’t work out with her, there are millions of other women out there in the world…
- Or listen to a podcast that teaches you something you can use to move forward in life…
- Read a book, practice another language…
Do ANYTHING to REAFFIRM Your autonomy.
Make sense?
Now, you might say, how will this get her back? How will she even know I’m doing these things…
WAIT FOR IT…
It doesn’t matter…
AUTONOMY isn’t about doing these things for HER…
If you’re only doing it for her, she is CONTROLLING YOU, and that means you’re NOT autonomous, and you’ll probably never get her anyway..
You DO IT FOR YOU.
Now, a side effect is that it naturally makes you more attractive to girls.
I don’t know how, but they have this sixth sense, that tells them how needy you are, or how upset you were when she didn’t call…
….Or how HOW IT DIDN’t AFFECT YOU AT ALL…
I promise you that, SHE KNOWS…
Your #1 Source of Power Over Any Girl
Now, you might say, well what if I want a “second chance” with her?
What if I don’t want to just ‘give up’…
First off, you’re not giving up, you’re doing something attractive.
Which is also PREVENTING YOU from doing some UNATTRACTIVE like texting her something that’s going to make you cringe later when you read it…
See Also
