What to Talk About with Girls

Dating > Conversation > What to Talk About
by Coaching Staff • Updated: April 20, 2022

See also

what to talk about with girls

Things to Say to a Girl (Explained)

There are many nuances of conversation, but one of the most important ones is being able to take material you’re given and flush it out into full conversations.  So I’m going to explain what to talk about with girls.

This requires a skill called “threadcutting”.  Which is the ability to move from topic to topic with a girl.

With the ability to “threadcut” you can:

  • Flush out good conversations
  • Navigate away from bad conversations
  • Talk about what you want to talk about, when you want to talk about it.

It is, quite simply, mastery over conversation.

#1: Use Situational Relevance

Master conversationalists innately understand the concept of “Situational Relevance” – that’s being relevant to the situation at hand.

The easiest way to understand “Situational Relevance” is through what happens when a guy isn’t situationally relevant when talking to a woman.

She’ll say something like:

  • “What?”
  • “Huh?”
  • “That was random…”
  • “Why are you asking me that?”

Situational Relevance is not an objectively judged characteristic. If something feels situationally relevant, it is situationally relevant. This is all about perception.

This can be used to your advantage.

#2: How to Generate Infinite Conversation Material

The easiest way to create the appearance of Situational Relevance is to take one word or phrase out of a sentence, and use that word or phrase in another, unrelated sentence. This in fact creates the appearance of Situational Relevance.

The classical example is:

“It was cold and snowy outside, so we got on warm clothes, went out, and built a snowman – then came inside and had hot chocolate.”

Isolate every meaningful word in the sentence.

They are:

  • Cold
  • Snowy
  • Warm
  • Clothes
  • Went out
  • Built
  • Snowman
  • Inside
  • Hot chocolate

Any sentence using one of those words or phrases – with the meaning of the word unchanged – will sound relevant to the situation.

Examples of Situationally Relevant Conversation

So below are some ways you can take any of the words above, and turn it into something to say to a girl.

“Yeah I don’t really like the cold… I love the seasons in New England, but I’m just about ready to move to Los Angeles so it’s never cold.”

“Oh really? I got caught in the record blizzard last year… it was funny, it was on a Wednesday I think, but I actually had the day off. So when I went outside, there were these huge piles of snow on either side of the road, but the roads and sidewalks were clear.”

“It was cold and snowy outside, so we got on warm clothes, went out, and built a snowman – then came inside and had hot chocolate.”

“Wow, I like getting and staying warm. I remember when I was a kid, I had the biggest, heaviest blanket – ever. It was a gigantic heavy blue blanket with a picture of a mean looking grizzly bear on it. Loved that thing…”

“That’s cool… yeah, I actually messed up. I was cleaning out my closet and gave a lot of stuff to the Salvation Army, but I didn’t realize just how much of my winter stuff I gave away. When it started getting cold, I actually had to use like Fall clothing and layer it a lot.”

Endless Examples of What to Talk About with Girls

See Also:

How Thread Cutting Works

Thread Cutting: You pull one word or phrase out of the conversation, then use the word or phrase to form your next sentence or set of sentences.

If it’s really out there, you use a few transition words like:

  • “That reminds me…”
  • “Oh really?”
  • “Yeah, I…”

This shows that you’re acknowledging what they’re saying, and then moving on to do more.

Using Overarching Themes to Generate Even More Conversation

In addition to the words and phrases used in conversation, you can also employ “overarching themes” – these are elements that aren’t directly said, but are implied by the conversation.

“It was cold and snowy outside, so we got on warm clothes, went out, and built a snowman – then came inside and had hot chocolate.”

Overarching themes:

  • Climate
  • Weather
  • Dress
  • Outdoors
  • Playing
  • Acting like a kid again
  • Creating things
  • Coming home
  • Indulging
  • Sweets
  • Hot drinks

Any of those could be used to create a new sentence as well, via the same thread cutting format.

Some Examples of Thematically Relevant Conversation

So below are some ways you can take any of the words above, and turn it into something to say to a girl.

“It was cold and snowy outside, so we got on warm clothes, went out, and built a snowman – then came inside and had hot chocolate.”

“Yeah, the weather here is crazy… I’m never sure what it’s going to be one day to the next, but I love being able to make the best of it and go for a quick hike, or skiing, or building a snowman one random day.”

“It’s so much fun to act like a kid… just the other day, I was driving with my friend, and we saw this big, beautiful, green grassy hill, and we totally stopped, pulled over, ran up to the top, and rolled down it. Most fun I’ve had in a real long time.”

“I absolutely love a great hot drink. My favorite is chai tea, with just tons and tons of cinnamon in it.”

Are you starting to see how easy it is to find what to talk about with girls?

When and How to Use the Force

Use threadcutting when you’re bored with or don’t enjoy a conversational topic, something is going stale, or isn’t conducive to a great interaction.

If the topic becomes too serious, too sad, or too tense for your tastes, take one word or theme from the last sentence she said, and flip it into a new sentence via threadcutting.

Don’t worry about conversations logically flowing when you’re first meeting new women: instead, focus on moving through a wide variety of fun topics and connecting on new and interesting things.

With a great grasp of threadcutting, you’ll be able to vibe your way through conversations.

See Also