How to Flirt: The Secret to To Turning Girls On

Dating Advice > Flirting Guide
by Bobby Rio • Updated: May 31, 2024

how to flirt with a girl

How to Flirt with Girls (Complete 2024 Guide)

Let’s face it- if you want to talk to a girl, hook up with her, and get her back to your place, then you need to know how to flirt with a girl.

We’ve all been there; you start talking to a girl, it seems to be going okay, but there just doesn’t seem to be any “chemistry.”

She’s not giving you any signs (she is- I’ll explain them below) and soon you run out of steam.  And then decide it’s probably better to end the conversation.  That way you avoid the awkwardness of running out of things to say or being rejected.

If you don’t know how to talk to women in that flirtatious way, eventually you will wind up boring her and losing her interest.

Women always wind up with the guy who KNOWS how to turn her on by being playful and flirty.

I speak from experience.

I’m a decent looking guy who is in good shape, makes good money, and has lots of friends.  But until I learned the essential flirting skills I was always stuck in the friend zone.

If you’re shy, insecure, or just clueless about how to “spark attraction” in a woman that you’re talking to, then you’re going to enjoy this article, as I’m going to lay out an easy to “action plan.”

The 2023 Flirting Guide

The Flirting Basics:

Flirty phrases and lines:

Flirting with Girls Over Text:

How to be Funny & Flirty:

Non-Verbal Flirting:

Flirting Mistakes to Avoid:

Common Questions About Flirting

What is Flirting?

I think that one of the reasons so many guys struggle with the skill is because they don’t really know what it is.

Instead, they think it’s the cheesy dialogue they see on soap operas, or worse, they think flirting means that you give a woman over the top compliments.

“Complimenting” is NOT is the right way to do it.

In fact, until a woman feels attraction for you, you should probably avoid complimenting her, and instead, concentrate on an “action plan” I’m about to give you below.

So what exactly is flirting?

It is a fun, playful way of communicating with a woman that lets her know you’re interested in her, without coming right out and saying it. Instead you do things like:

  • Tease her
  • Banter with her
  • Turn your conversation with her into a sort of “game”
  • Become “partners in crime”

What Vibe Should You Give Off?

Flirting is about creating a positive, playful vibe.

Flirting is all about keeping things light, cheerful, and only subtly sexy, so don’t try too hard to be “seductive”.

And the point of flirting is to get her into a happy, carefree state of mind.

…So she stops thinking about problems at work, the fight she just had with her best friend (or maybe the boyfriend that’s waiting for her at home=).

…And starts feeling playful, and adventurous!

To achieve this you need to smile big and keep your body very RELAXED when you first approach her.

For example, you can put your feet up ‘loosen your tie’ if you’re wearing one…lean back in your chair or rest your arms behind your head.

Make sure you laugh and smile a lot, and AVOID any heavy topics. Even if she tries to talk about personal problems or politics or whatever, steer the conversation in a different direction right away!

You could even tell her a funny story about something slightly embarrassing that happened to you (this actually works REALLY well!).

Because once she see’s that YOU don’t take yourself too seriously, she will loosen up also.

In fact, she will actually start to feed off your positive energy, which will make her want to keep hanging around you…

…even if that means following you to BED!

How to Start Flirting with a Girl?

How to Flirt by Teasing a Woman

After you’ve put her in fun, spontaneous mood, it’s time to add a bit of tension to your interaction, just to keep her on her toes!

And teasing (or making jokes at her expense) is a great way to do this.

But for teasing to be a turn on, it’s important to find a happy medium between jabs that are too innocent to get her attention…and comments that are actually offensive (so as a rule, don’t pick on her appearance.)

Instead, try teasing her about being:

  • too pretty
  • or too smart
  • or too ambitious.

PRO TIP: Choose something that you actually really LIKE about her and jokingly act like it’s a bad thing.

Example: If she has a great body, tease her about how much time she must spend at the gym… or if she loves reading, tell her she needs to “get out more” etc.

The teasing should be good hearted and fun, and should not be offensive or rude.

It’s always best to tease a woman on something she says, the way she is acting, or something you notice about her.

When you learn to listen and observe a girl you begin to quickly find this you can flirt and tease her about. Things like:

  • Being “blonde”
  • Seeming “bossy”
  • Being “gullible” or “naive”
  • Having a “wild side”

Or you can simply challenge her.

A great way to flirt with a girl is to have a “mock” competition with her over something.

For instance, I’ve goaded smart girls into having a spelling bee with me.  It’s just a fun, playful way to get the two of you engaged in some sort of “game.”

You can also tease a woman without ever opening your mouth.

  • You can tease a woman by getting in her way so she can’t walk past you.
  • You can swat her with a straw
  • Tickle her
  • Or do the old “you’ve got something on your shirt” routine.

99.9% of Girls Fall for THESE 5 Flirting Tricks

What are examples of flirting lines?

When you’re first learning how to flirt with girls it’s good to have some “canned” flirting lines you can use at any given time.

Sometimes it’s hard to think of original things to say.

Here are a few lines I like to use to “tease” women quickly in the conversation.

  • If a girl says something nerdy I will say “You usually hang out at the library don’t you?”
  • If a girl spills her drink I will say “Bartender, I think you need to cut her off”
  • If a girl is acting a little spoiled say “Looks like someone put their cranky pants on this morning

These are just a few examples of flirty lines that you can say.

3 Cocky Funny Flirting Tricks

Can you Flirt if you’re Not Funny?

Here is are some flirting tips I learned as began to pay attention to more and more men who were successful with women?.

Most of them aren’t that funny.

Most of them have an average sense of humor just like you and me.

The difference is they don’t depend on being “funny” to flirt with women.

They naturally understood something that took me years to figure out?

Flirting isn’t being “funny.”

Flirting is communicating with a woman in a “sexual” way.

And there are DOZENS of ways to do this.

In fact, a whole lot of “flirtatious communication” can take place without you ever even opening your mouth.

  • Smiling at a woman at just the right moment is flirting.
  • Letting a woman catch you checking her out is flirting
  • Winking at a woman right in middle of her telling you off, is flirting

Does Flirting require touching her?

Like I said, flirting should NOT be explicitly sexual.

In fact, if you act like you’re just paling around with her like she’s “just a friend” she’ll immediately start to wonder why you don’t seem attracted to her.

…And it will instantly make her want you (even if she didn’t before)!

So you can continue building the suspense by giving her a taste of your touch, but in way that keeps her guessing.

So don’t do anything obvious like putting your hand on her lower back, or rubbing her thigh.

…Because that will give away your plan, and put HER back in control of the situation.

Instead, pretend there’s something icky caught in her hair and reach over to pick it out.

Or challenge her to a “thumb war” or arm wrestling contest.

Or say you want to teach her a secret handshake (that has lots of steps!).

Sure, it might seem a little juvenile, like pulling a girl’s pigtails on the playground.

But the “silly touch” technique is actually extremely POWERFUL!

How to flirt with body language?

One of the most important things to remember is that what your body is saying. This is almost important as what is coming out of your mouth.

A lot of times, guys are too nervous talking to women.  And their body language displays things such as:

  • Bad posture
  • Nervous ticks
  • Unconfident eye contact

All of these things can undermine what you are saying to a girl, and make her think you’re really not as “cool” as you’re pretending to sound.

This is why it is important to display sexy body language along with the words that come out of your mouth and the teasing and banter lines.

Examples of Flirty Body Language:

  • Slowly smiling at her (not an obnoxious or nervous grin)
  • Briefly touching her as you talk
  • Appearing relaxed and laid back
  • Holding eye contact

If you combine these things with good verbal flirting skills then you’ll do a great job of getting the girl to give you the signals that she likes you.

See also:

Do You Ever Get “Serious” When Flirting?

Up until this point you’ve been keeping it light, fun, and very casual.

But it’s time to suddenly break that pattern and get a little more serious.

Switch to a slightly deeper, slightly sexier topics of conversation.

Like a movie or love song that recently made you cry, or a goal you’d like to accomplish.

…or tell her something about yourself that you’ve :never told anyone before”(even if you have!).

This unexpected change of pace will make her heart beat a little faster, make her feel emotionally connected.

…and make YOU suddenly seem mysterious, complex, and alluring!

Remember to change your body language during this step too: Lean in, deepen your voice, and make meaningful eye contact.

How to Know if a Woman is Flirting with You?

It can be a major main to be left wondering if a girl is flirting with you or just being nice?

Now when you flirt with a woman in a way that attracts her you’ll begin to notice that women will:

  • Make excuses to keep talking to you
  • Touch you more (putting her hand under your shirt, or feeling your muscles)
  • Getting jealous when you talk to other girls
  • Laughing at your jokes (even the ones that aren’t that funny)
  • Leaning in and grinding up against you

So below are some of the best indicators.

If I’m talking to a girl and start to sense a “vibe” here are some articles explaining what I look for to determine if she is feeling it to.

How I Learned How to Flirt with a Girl

I was standing near behind an extremely hot woman waiting to order a drink. She was sipping a mixed drink from a straw. Something made her laugh and she blew into the glass and the drink poured out.

I wanted to talk to this girl so I desperately searched my mind for something witty to say. I drew a blank.

So instead of forcing something unfunny or awkward, I waited for the exact moment she looked up at me and our eyes met, and simply shook my head back and forth and gave her one those looks that says “Can’t take you anywhere.”

She then turned to her friends and started chatting with them. I squeezed in to order my drink. My mind, still trained to make the same mistakes I talked about earlier, is now racing to find something funny to follow up with.

While the bartender was handing me my drink, one of her friends turned and asked me some question. I then turned into the group of three girls. I said something that made the group laugh. I then caught eyes with the one I was interested in and gave her subtle look that said “don’t spill it this time.”

The girl was a little tipsy. Not stupid drunk, but buzzed enough to know she was a little drunk. Later in the conversation she starts telling me a story about something that had happened to her the night before. She is excited about the story and talking quite fast. She trips over a word or two.

I then give her a look similar to the Rock’s eyebrow raise. Not a blatant eye brow raise, but a look that says “you lost me sweetie.”

She then slapped my chest and said “stop it”

And it’s on.

What I learned during that interaction was that flirting is just as much non verbal as it is verbal.

3 Key Flirting Tips With Women

There were three key factors I discovered about how to flirt that quickly took my game to the next level. And I want to share these flirting tips with you:

  1. Timing
  2. Subtleness
  3. Facial expressions and glances

Every interaction has a beat.

And once you learn to get in tune with the beat of an interaction, your social intelligence will appear to sky rocket. The great stand up comedians have mastered the art of timing. Rent videos of some of the all time greats and study how they use timing.

When the woman at the bar spilled her drink I waited for the right moment. I didn’t rush to make a comment, making my interest too apparent. And I didn’t wait until later to use it as a joke. I simply waited for the inevitable moment that our eyes met, and subtly shook my head. She smiled.

And the dance began.

I hope by reading this you’re encouraged to go out there and create these “sexual communications” with women, without waiting for the perfect thing to say.

Flirting with women is a skill, and you must learn how to flirt if you want to seduce them.

See Also